A Shoulder to Lean On
by vanchi1211
Summary: One thing about grief: it's not going away, but it helps to have a partner, a friend, by your side. What would have happened if Hailey only went drinking, nothing more, with Adam, and Jay needed her shoulder to lean on? Based on 6x02. May or may not turn into romance depends on the show! For now it's a friendship story.
1. Chapter 1

In my mind this is what should have happened after the event in 6x02, after Jay and Will got back from their father's place and Hailey went to grab a drink with Adam.

Hailey put her gun and badge on her nightstand and sat on her bed. She felt better after crying in the car and went to Molly's with Adam, but only allowed herself a drink because she did want to be the cop who drowns her sorrow in alcohol. Adam drove her back to the scene because her car was there. She did not wait to drive away as fast as possible; she was not mentally ready to be where her partner was shot. When she accepted the job and got paired up with Halstead, she was relieved. He is a good cop, he could watch his own back as well as hers. However, grief had won, and he went off the rail was something she did not expect. Luckily he was able to pull through, and helped himself by going to therapy. After Erin's departure and Camilla's fiasco, she thought he had learnt his lesson.

She took a shower and realised that she still had dried blood on her hands, under her nails. She scrubbed herself clean, feeling sick that she had her partner's blood on her. This shouldn't have happened, she thought. Jay was lucky to be sensible enough to wear vest under his shirt; she knew that when she pushed him away from Juan Mendoza. However in the split seconds she saw him lying on the pavement, she really thought that she had lost another partner. She did not realise that she was crying under the shower until she heard her own sobs. Once the full blown cry started, she could not stop. She sat under the shower, hugging her legs, and let out the tears.

She had just stepped out of bathroom when her phone rang. She picked it up, did not spare a second to see the caller. If it was a call to another crime scene she might throw her phone at the wall though; after the stressful day of being Jay's punching bag and him getting shot, she just wanted to sleep.

"…Hailey? Hailey, you there?" she heard. Apparently she did not say anything after pressing the answer button.

"Yeah?" she stammered.

"I was wondering if you're up for a drink," said Jay tentatively.

"Aren't you at Med?" asked Hailey.

"No, Will took me to his place."

"Alright, Molly's?" asked Hailey. As tired as she was, she did not intent to turn Jay down. She had tried to be there for him since his dad passed away, she should be there when he needed her.

"Actually, do you mind picking me up from Will and Nat's? My car's at the district," said Jay. Hailey heard remorse and regret in his voice.

"I'll be there in 20," Hailey said after looking at the time. It's past rush hour, and Natalie's place is across the city near Med. She disconnected the call, threw on jeans and hoodie, and left her place. In no time she arrived near Natalie's apartment and called Jay. He did not pick up, so she buzzed the front door.

"Hey, Hailey," Will answered through the intercom.

"Hey Will, I'm picking Jay up," said Hailey.

"Come on up," said Will, and Hailey went to the second floor where Natalie's apartment is. She had only been here once before. Will opened the door when she knocked.

"Will, I'm sorry for your loss," said Hailey, giving Will a hug.

"Thanks, Hailey," said Will. He pointed to the couch where Jay was asleep, then stepped out of the apartment and closed the door behind him. "I heard Jay gave you a hard time, sorry for that."

"It's okay. I'm here to pick him up actually."

"Thanks for being there for him. He hasn't talked to me, as stubborn as he is. And got himself shot… I almost had to bury him as well as my old man." Hailey saw glint of tears in Will's eyes. She pulled him into a hug.

"But you don't, okay? You still have each other," said Hailey. "Isn't he supposed to be at Med?"

"It was a clean through and through, he was allowed to go home, and hopefully there won't be any infection. I don't think it's good for him to be there, I mean, last he was at Med, we pulled the plug on our dad," said Will. Hailey nodded. "He is under painkiller, make sure he eats and no alcohol, okay?" asked Will. Hailey nodded. He opened the door, and walked to the couch.

"Hey, Jay. Hailey's here," he grabbed Jay's shoulder cautiously. Jay opened his eyes and yawned. Fatigue was clear on his face, as well as regret and pain. Hailey immediately felt sorry for him. Jay stood up, using Will's arm to hoist himself up. He cringed and held his stomach where the bullet entered his body a few hours earlier.

"You okay?" asked Hailey. Jay just nodded, avoiding her eyes. Although she had forgiven him, he has not. He now felt regret that in his moment of weakness, he had called her.

"Call me if you need anything, okay? If you got a fever from infection, or anything," said Will.

"I'll see you tomorrow," whispered Jay. They hugged, Hailey noticed, a little bit too long, as if trying to draw strength from each other, and Jay nodded to Hailey. Hailey waved to Will, then followed Jay out the door. They went to her car.

"So?" asked Hailey.

"I have tequila," said Jay, still avoiding her eyes.

"Have you had dinner?" asked Hailey. Jay shook his head. Hailey just realised she had not eaten anything since breakfast. She drove to his place, being careful to avoid any potholes to make him more comfortable. They maintained their silence throughout the ride, both immersed in their own thoughts. Before they realised it, they arrived at his place. He fell to the couch; Hailey invited herself into his kitchen to rummage his fridge. She found some leftover pizza and threw them into the microwave. Not her favourite, but she felt really hungry and could not wait half an hour for pizza delivery to arrive. She offered Jay the pizza.

"Don't really feel like eating," said Jay. It's the truth; he had not eaten since morning, and still was not hungry. Actually he was feeling a little bit nauseous, probably the effect of painkillers.

"Try," insisted Hailey. Jay smirked at her bossy tone and grabbed the plate. Hailey started some tea as she took a slice. A minute later, Hailey came with two mugs of tea, as if she knew that he was feeling sick. It was then that Jay caught a clear look at his partner. Her eyes were red and swollen, as if she had been crying. He felt pang in his stomach, it was clear that it was because of him. He yelled at her, he hurt her while she only tried to be there for him. Yet here she is now, she did not even question him when he called her out of the blue, asking her to have a drink. He could not stand another minute watching his brother play the happy family with Natalie and Owen, the only family he has left now that his father was dead.

"You done with that?" asked Hailey, looking at the half slice of pizza Jay didn't eat. She wisely did not comment that Jay only finished half slice of pizza. Jay was secretly relieved; he did not think he could manage another bite.

"I think so." Jay looked down at his feet, and then finally made eye contact with Hailey. "I'm sorry," he whispered after a few seconds. He quickly averted his eyes; he could not look at the eyes which were filled by the pain he inflicted.

Hailey was shocked. She thought he apologised earlier, through the unspoken sorry in the ambulance. Her heart broke knowing he still felt guilty to even look at her in the eyes. She touched his arm, which he pulled away quickly.

"It's okay," she said earnestly. She really understood. They had hurt each other before; they had butted heads on previous cases. This is the most personal among other cases they have had though, more than Camilla or Booth cases. Jay shook his head.

"No, it's not okay. I shouldn't say… many things to you," said Jay. He was on the verge of tears. Hailey knelt down in front of him because he avoided looking at her at any cost.

"Jay, look at me," she used her forceful tone. "It's not okay, but what's done is done, what's said is said. I've forgiven you, you should forgive yourself," she said once she caught his eyes. Finally locking eyes with her, Jay couldn't hold himself anymore. His tears sprang from his eyes, and before he realised it, his body was wrecked with sobs. Hailey took him into her arms, nestling his head on the crook of her neck, letting him cry for his dad, for his hurtful words to her and Will, for him being shot. "It's okay, let it all out. Sssh, you're safe, you're not alone," she whispered over and over again while he clung at her and staining her hoodie with his tears. She cried herself, for his mourning partner, for his pain and near brush with death.

After a while, his cries died down. He sniffled, still clinging to her. She waited until he was ready to let go, her hand is still rubbing his back.

"Gosh, sorry Hailey… I did not expect that," said Jay while wiping his eyes.

"I understand, not that it's a problem though. After everything, you can use a shoulder to cry on," she said, sitting back beside Jay, her hand still on his back. "You feel better?"

"A bit. The wound hurts though," Jay touched his wounded stomach.

"Anything you need for that?" asked Hailey. Jay shook his head while contemplating his next words.

"I know I'm probably the last person you wanted to see, but thanks for picking me up without asking, despite me being an ass throughout the day. I really am sorry, I was an ass. I didn't think straight," said Jay, now looking at her. He saw her glossy eyes, and he squeezed her hand. She squeezed back.

"It's alright, I understand," said Hailey, starting to get frustrated that she could not convince him that she had forgiven him.

"May I ask something?" asked Jay. Hailey raised her brows, allowing him to ask her anything. "Did I make you cry?" asked Jay, half whispering. He didn't want to hear the answer, but he needed to. Hailey let out a deep breath.

"Would you feel better if I say I didn't forgive you?" Hailey asked.

"What?"

"I said it's okay, but you insisted on apologising. It's okay, really. I was hurt, I admit. Yes, I cried a lot today. Yes, it was partially because of what you said, but mostly because I thought you were dead. But you just lost your dad, and I understand that you wanted to catch Daniel. So, all in all, we're good. If you feel better apologising a thousand times, go ahead. But I've forgiven you before you even said sorry," said Hailey, on the verge of tearing up again, mostly because her heart ached for him.

Jay couldn't believe it. He thought when Erin left that he would never have another partner who understands him, but Hailey had exceeded everything he asked for in a partner. She is harsh and unapologetic at times, they sure argue, but her heart was made from pure gold. She watches his back all the time, however hard he made it to be on certain days. She is a better partner than Erin, he dared to admit, since Erin would push him back if he pushed hard enough. But Hailey stays. She swallowed her pain and pulled him from hell. He does not deserve a partner like her. Hell, no one deserves a partner like her.

"Thanks, I guess. I owe you, though," said Jay. He pulled her into a hug, making a silent promise to be a better partner to her. Hailey hugged him back, relieving the simple but important fact that he was alive, however broken he was at that moment.

"And I didn't ask when you asked me to pick you up because I know you wouldn't ask if you didn't really need it. What kinda partner would I be if I didn't have your back?" asked Hailey, flashing her dimple.

"Yeah, I felt suffocated there. Will acted like things were normal at home, I mean, sure, Owen was there, and they didn't want to confuse him, but I didn't feel like playing house there. He wanted me to stay there, to keep an eye on me, but…" Jay raised his shoulders. Hailey stayed silent. She got up and grabbed a tequila bottle, poured herself a drink and gulped it, then sat back on the couch bringing a beer from the fridge, pointed the tea to Jay when he silently asked for a drink. Jay snickered but obeyed, he wasn't sure he could handle drinking though, maybe it's the painkiller, or the hole in his stomach, or the full-blown crying, and he felt even worse than before. Hailey seemed to notice that.

"Slow sips," said Hailey, helped Jay grab the mug from the table. Jay complied. The last thing he wanted right now is to be sick. Even the thought of that made his wound ached.

"We went to my dad's place," said Jay after a few minutes of comfortable silent. Hailey looked at him, he kept his sight ahead. "From the hospital, we went there to grab a few things. And I, I looked through his things, and I found my graduation picture, from the academy. He didn't come, but he saved the picture; along with few other articles about me. Bastard did care," said Jay. He looked at her and whispered, "He was proud of me." Hailey put her hand on his back, encouraged him to continue if he needed to. "Last thing I said to him, though… I called him a thankless old prick." Tears fell from Jay's eyes. Hailey looked at him, didn't say anything, but touched his arm with sympathy. Jay avoided her eyes and rubbed his face tiredly.

Jay decided it was time to end the pity party and grabbed the TV remote. He turned on the TV to a repeat of Blackhawks game. They watched in silence, drinking their beer and tea. Jay was fighting sleep. The painkiller, combined with relief after having the talk with Hailey, made him fight a losing battle. He settled his head on his partner's shoulder, knowing that she had no intention to leave after the drinks she had. Any other day, this is considered crossing boundaries they set between them. However, today, boundaries be damned, he knew Hailey understood his need of comfort. He smiled when Hailey pulled him closer, letting him lean on her. Feeling safer and better than he had been feeling all day, he drifted to sleep.

Hailey was surprised when Jay put his head on his shoulder. He had a long day, and long days ahead of him. He had to plan and attend memorial service, funeral, and fighting his own demons. The least Hailey could do was to be there for him, as she always had. If Jay needed a shoulder to lean on, she would give hers. For now, she was satisfied knowing that he was alive and well, at least physically. She put her arm around Jay, grabbed a blanket from behind the couch, being careful not to startle him, and draped it over them. She turned off the TV, leaned back on the couch, and closed her eyes as sleep caught on with her.


	2. Chapter 2

It was 7.30 am when Will opened Jay's door with his key. He was worried when Jay did not answer his call or text, so he left home very early to go to Jay's. He knew that Jay was hurting more than he let on. And he did not approve of him going home yesterday, but he also understood that Jay didn't want to stay at Natalie's. His brother needed some solace, and boy, what a whirlwind Owen had been these days.

He was greeted with the sight of Jay and Hailey sleeping on the couch. Jay leaned his head on her shoulder; Hailey's head was propped with a pillow on the back of the couch and her arm was around Jay's shoulder protectively. Their feet were on the table. Will laughed silently at the beer bottle and tea cup on the table; kudos to Hailey for keeping Jay off alcohol while she had a drink. Will smiled mischievously and took a picture of the adorable partners. He was glad his brother has a partner, no, a friend, to whom he could literally lean on. Without making any noise, he felt Jay's forehead for any sign of fever from infection. He was careful, with Jay's history of PTSD and nightmares, he didn't want to be punched. He knew Jay was getting better maintaining his PTSD, but if he was stressed, he would get nightmares. And Jay would not forgive him if Hailey witnessed his PTSD episode, or worse, if he hurt Hailey physically, since Jay never reacted well to people touching him when he was sleeping.

Jay woke up when Will touched his forehead. He, however, didn't let on that he was awake. Will was checking his heartbeat when Jay opened his eyes.

"I'm alive, Will," said Jay, whispered when he realised Hailey was still asleep.

"Was worried that you get infection, rapid heartbeat is a sign," Will rolled his eyes. "Let me check your dressing," said Will. Jay lifted the blanket and his shirt and let Will check his wound.

"I'm gonna redress the wound. You feeling better?" asked Will.

"Yeah, painkiller worked its wonder," said Jay. He held his hand, silently asking for Will to help him up. Will looked at him meaningfully, and Jay sighed, knowing full well that Will wasn't asking about his physical state. Once he stood, he slipped his hands under Hailey's neck and knees and laid her flat on the sofa, covering her with blanket. He then followed Will into the kitchen to start the coffee. Will prepared his kit and redressed the wound. Jay flinched when he remembered what happened yesterday.

Jay had fallen asleep for a little while in the hospital, combination of mild sedative, painkiller, and exhaustion. When he woke up, Will was on his bedside, his hands held onto Jay's, his head bowed down, just like Jay did on his father's bedside the previous day. Jay first thought Will was sleeping, but upon paying attention, he realised that Will was praying. Jay did not say anything, he squeezed Will's hands. Will immediately sat straight, his eyes were bloodshot red. He did not make eye contact with Jay. Jay only managed to grab his hand and squeezed it, and Will ran his fingers through Jay's hair, both relieving the physical contact between them but unable to say anything. The action was loaded since Jay swore he saw tears fell from Will's eyes. Jay knew it was not only because their dad had died. It was more because Will nearly lost his father and brother at the same time. Damn, how many people cried because of him yesterday? Will, Hailey… Jay shook his head. Two people closest to him were hurting because of him.

"What?" asked Will.

"No, nothing," lied Jay. Will knew he was not telling the truth, however he decided to drop it.

Hailey woke up to the smell of coffee. She was confused that she woke up in a living room not her own. She looked around and saw Will and Jay having breakfast and drinking coffee. They both looked at her as she sat and rubbed her face and yawned.

"Hey, you awake," said Jay. He poured her a cup of coffee. Hailey walked to the dining area, grabbed the mug and sipped it, thankful for the caffeine.

"Hey, Will," greeted Hailey. Will heard the unasked question.

"I was concerned when he didn't answer his phone. For all I know, he could be passed out, tore his stitches, get infections. So I went here first thing in the morning, didn't realise you would be here. Had I known you're keeping him company, I wouldn't come," Will offered an explanation. Hailey nodded.

"How's the wound?" asked Hailey to Jay.

"It's okay," answered Jay. They fell into silence. Will finished his coffee and cleared his throat.

"I'll get going, meet you for lunch?" asked Will.

"Yeah," said Jay. Will put his mug in the sink and clapped Jay on the shoulder. "Bye, Hailey," and with that, he was out the door.

"I'll ride with you to the district, need to pick my car up," said Jay.

"Uh, I got the day off," Hailey smirked. Jay raised his brow, asking her to elaborate. "Voight said yesterday, something about difficult case and winding off. But I'll drive you there to pick up your car."

"Alright, we can take our time then, because otherwise you need to be there in 15 minutes. Muffin? Will brought it," Jay waved a paper bag. Hailey smiled and accepted it.

"Of course!" She happily bit into the muffin. "Ah, blueberry. He's my favourite Halstead now," teased Hailey. Jay laughed.

"It cost a muffin to get you to say that? I brought you coffee all the time!" Jay rolled his eyes. It's Hailey's turn to laugh.

"On a serious note though, how are you doing? Honestly," asked Hailey. Jay's smile disappeared, he thought hard.

"My wound just got redressed by Will, judging by his concern, no infection is good enough," Jay stopped to see Hailey gave him a look. He sighed. "You and Will share the same look, maybe it's you two who are siblings," Jay rolled his eyes, happy to get an eye roll from Hailey as well. "I feel better than yesterday, I think you were right. Crying did help. Sleeping well helped too. I did fall asleep on you, though. Sorry," said Jay.

"It's alright. I'm glad you're feeling better," said Hailey.

"Yeah, let's see how that changes after today. Will and I are going to arrange the funeral," Jay quickly turned sombre. "Last time with our mom, he wasn't around to help, so I guess it wouldn't be as bad."

"Tell me if you need anything," said Hailey. She stretched her neck. "Thank God you have a comfy couch," she muttered. "You have breakfast yet? You didn't eat well last night," asked Hailey.

"Had toast earlier, I'm still feeling a bit sick, although better than last night," said Jay truthfully.

"Come on, I'll drive you to the district," said Hailey. She picked up her phone from the couch and scrolled through it. Some case reports, updates from Kim, Kevin, and Adam, leave grant from Voight, she made a mental note to read them all later.

"Thanks for the coffee. Is it okay to leave this here?" asked Hailey and put her mug in the sink, near Will's.

"Yeah, I'll probably wash it tonight," said Jay. "Thanks for being here for me," he squeezed her shoulder when they were leaving.

"You know I'll be here whenever you need," she said. Jay smiled. What a partner he got. They went into her car and Hailey dropped him at the district.

"You're back to work tomorrow?" asked Jay.

"Yeah, you?" asked Hailey, immediately regretted asking. "I mean… no, you should take your time."

"Probably the day after tomorrow," said Jay. "I'll let you know when I've settled things with Will."

"Alright," said Hailey. Jay hopped off her car.

"Thanks for the ride," said Jay. Hailey smiled and left.

Jay met Will at a diner on the afternoon. They both avoided going to their dad's place again, not until they need to clear the place. Will was already there when Jay arrived, fresh after a shower. They both ordered food and coffee, wanted to get the arrangements over with quickly.

"So, how are you doing, really?" asked Will. He was worried last night when he heard Jay sobbed in his father's place, but as soon as it started, it was done. Jay pretended it never happened when Will went to find him.

"I'm good. You?" Jay asked back. Emotionally, Will should be a train wreck. He was the one whose father and brother got admitted into hospital in 24-hour window, the former ended up dead.

"Not bad," answered Will.

"I haven't apologised for making you worried yesterday," said Jay.

"Yeah, getting a call from Maggie that a Detective Halstead got admitted for a gunshot wound isn't exactly what I expected to hear. I nearly yelled at Voight and Hailey," said Will.

"They were there?" asked Jay, didn't realise his boss and his partner were in the hospital. Hailey didn't say anything.

"Voight was. He came to talk to me. I saw Hailey briefly, didn't talk to her until she came to pick you though," said Will.

"Yeah… I haven't faced the music. Voight reamed me out yesterday in the field."

"He should," said Will slowly. "Don't ever do that again, I'm serious. I can't lose my brother, cop or no cop." Jay patted Will's arm.

"I thought you and Hailey fought?" asked Will. Jay had a questioning look on his face, so he elaborated, "I asked Voight why you were alone, that someone should be with you. Voight said that he didn't think you would want Hailey to be there, that's why I wondered, when did you make up before she came to my place?"

"We hadn't," said Jay. "However, she's Hailey. All I did yesterday was yell at her, and she didn't even question why when I asked her to come."

"You wanna talk about it?" asked Will.

"No," Jay toyed with his sandwich. Will had a judging look on his face. "Oh I apologised already, Will," Jay snapped, rolling his eyes.

"And she stayed last night," Will said, half judging. "She's one hell of a partner," stated Will. Jay nodded in agreement.

"She had some alcohol, she couldn't drive," countered Jay. "Now, about the funeral?" they talked about the arrangements and made a lot of calls before deciding that they were done.

"You sure you want to go home?" asked Will concerned.

"Yeah, Will. I mean, Owen is cute, but I want to sleep on my own bed tonight without a three year old screaming," said Jay.

"Well, if you are sure about it… be sure to come to Med or my place tomorrow, the wound needs a new dressing," said Will. They left the diner. Jay checked his phone. It was only four and he was tired. Lost at what to do, he went back to his apartment. He threw his keys to the nightstand and went to sleep immediately.

-o-o-

Jay woke up around 7, his head throbbing. He had a nightmare, which left him feeling worse than he felt all day. He checked his phone and discovered a few messages. Clearly everyone avoided sending him the case report. Voight granted him two more leave days, and Hailey and Will checked on him. He sighed and put his phone away. He insisted to sleep, however restless his sleep might be.

The next time he woke up, though, it was because someone patted his shoulder. In his state of PTSD, which unknowingly snuck up on him, he quickly went into defensive mode and ready to attack his attacker. It was good that Will was prepared, he quickly stepped back after Jay woke up thinking he was in Afghanistan.

"Hey, it's me. It's me," said Will. Once he was sure Jay recognised him, he grabbed Jay's shoulder and felt his forehead. Jay's face and body was covered in sweat; his breath was short and fast. Jay held Will's hand, who immediately guided him breathing. Once his breathing was back to normal, Jay released Will's hand. Will immediately checked Jay's pulse.

"What are you doing here?" asked Jay.

"Clearly, checking up on you. You didn't answer my texts, I even called Hailey to ask whether you were at the district," said Will.

"She's not in today," muttered Jay.

"Yeah, I figured. Go change, or take a shower. I brought Chinese food," said Will. Jay peeked at the clock: 9 pm. He looked at his phone. Hailey was clearly made worried by Will's call, texted him two more times. He shot her a reply, then changed into clean shirt since his current one was soaked in sweat.

"You want Sweet and Sour Pork or Kung Pao Chicken?" asked Will, raising two boxes in his hands.

"Anything," said Jay. They ate in silence.

"Jay, hear me out, okay? Don't get upset," Will started after they were done eating. Jay raised his eyebrows. "After all this, would you talk to someone? I'm worried about you." Jay rolled his eyes. "I'm really worried. You feel guilty, bottled everything inside, not to mention you had nightmare earlier. We don't want last year happening again." Will said.

"Preach. And you opened up?" Jay sneered.

"I talked to Nat!" defended Will. "Have you even cried? Yesterday you practically shut Nat down, and me too."

"Oh, forgive me, Will, I didn't know that I have to cry in front of you! I'll make sure of that next time something happened," Jay said sarcastically. "You know what, I can't do this right now. If that's what you do, talk to your girlfriend, that doesn't mean I have to do the same," Jay grabbed his keys.

"Oh, come on, you know that's not what I mean!" Will yelled.

"I'll cool my head off before I say something I regret," said Jay. He stopped at the door. "And, you might wanna ask Hailey if I cried and talked yesterday. Lock up behind you," Jay slammed the door as he went. He took his phone out once he was outside his building.

"Hey, the offer still stands?"

-o-o-


	3. Chapter 3

_Didn't intend to publish this so early after the last chapter as I am not sure of the next part yet. Do I want to see the memorial? Funeral? Therapy? However I was desperate for some Chicago PD fix (and I assumed many were too!) so I thought I'd throw a short one before the hiatus ends. _

* * *

Hailey had just finished folding laundry when the doorbell rang. She used her off day to do chores, go to the gym, and eat at her favourite restaurant across the city. When she offered to Jay to tell her if he needed anything, she didn't think much of it. So when Jay actually picked up on the offer and called her, telling her that he needed a drink, she was surprised.

"Wow, beer for real this time," teased Hailey when she saw the six-pack beer Jay brought. Yesterday the beer had turned into tea.

"Hey, sorry I interrupted your plan," said Jay. He opened the fridge and put the beers, save two.

"Yeah, I was planning on folding laundry all night," said Hailey, laughing as she hauled the laundry basket into her room. She came back in a minute, sitting beside Jay on the couch. Jay passed her a bottle of beer. "You went missing or what? Will called me earlier."

"I was asleep," said Jay. "I'm going to work tomorrow. Don't feel like doing nothing all day."

"You tell me. A day off and I did all chores, went groceries, ate out, went to the gym… more productive than I've been ever," Hailey laughed.

"I'm going to work tomorrow to avoid doing those things," Jay smirked. Hailey smiled. They enjoyed the beer in silence.

"I walked away on Will," said Jay finally.

"Wanna talk about it?" asked Hailey. Jay shook his head.

"No, just let me wind off here for a bit. I don't want to disturb you."

"It's okay."

"I've wanted to ask you. Will said you were in the hospital yesterday," said Jay.

"Yeah… I was there. I didn't think you wanted to see me. Voight sent me home," said Hailey. Jay sipped his beer and decided to drop it. Hailey texted Will to stop him from worrying.

"Will said I've been bottling up inside," Jay surprised both of them after fidgeting with his beer label for a while. "Nat tried to talk to me yesterday, I brushed her off… I don't want to talk to her. She's Will's girlfriend, I shouldn't have to tell her anything. But for Will, that's a sign I won't talk, and I would be going down the hole again."

"She's gonna be your family," said Hailey, avoiding talking about Jay spiralling last year. It was still a sensitive topic between them, but she was glad he got the help he needed.

"I get that she wanted to help, but I don't want to talk to her. Doesn't mean I'm bottling things up," said Jay. Hailey understood the unspoken meaning: 'I talked to you'.

"No, you don't…" Hailey shook her head, wanting to continue but stopped herself. Jay asked with his eyebrows. "But I understand where Will's worry came from. For him—for us—to watch you last year was hard. I didn't know you well enough last year, not that I didn't care, and it was hard for me. I cannot imagine how he felt." She chose her words carefully. Jay ran from Will to her place, where would Jay run to if she made him angry?

"I won't suggest you to do anything, don't get me wrong, but after what happened with my UC work with Booth, I went into therapy. I'm glad I did, just like you said when you went to one, it was helpful. Talking to people you know, who cares about you, it helps. But they're professional, they're neutral. They're not there to guard your feeling, they're there to make you better," said Hailey. She maintained eye contact with Jay to convey her genuine concern.

"Do you think I need it?" Jay's question was barely above whisper. Hailey shrugged her shoulders. "You work with me. Do you trust me?"

"I do, yeah, there's no questioning that. I need your head screwed on straight, though. Really, I'm not at liberty to say, Will must has other reasons other than you won't talk to Natalie. And, again, I don't need you justifying things to me. I won't push you unless I really need to."

"Things are so messed up right now I don't know what is needed anymore," Jay grabbed another beer from the fridge. He drank slowly, thinking hard. Hailey's phone rang.

"Hey, yeah… yeah. It's okay, I'll drive him if he drinks too much. Yeah, I think so. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess," said Hailey. "That's Will. He wanted you to call him to drive you home, in case you drink. He said he promised he won't ask. I told him I'll drive you home." Jay nodded.

"Tomorrow's the memorial, you'll come?" asked Jay.

"Will just asked. Yeah, I will, hopefully there's no new case tomorrow." Hailey raised her eyebrows. She stifled a yawn.

"Have you cleared it with Voight, to come in tomorrow?" asked Hailey.

"I have. He wanted to meet me early, though, so if you want to hear me being yelled at, tomorrow's the perfect time," Jay's face turned sour.

"I'll wait with Trudy," said Hailey.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks, Hailey," Jay stood, squeezed her shoulder, and left.

* * *

Hailey had been calling Jay five times. Every time it went to voicemail after not being picked up. Voight had called, saying that there's a crime scene, but he wanted them both to finish last case's paperwork. Also, he couldn't reach Jay, which was weird. Jay always answers on first ring. Voight asked Hailey to tell Jay to come in a bit later as he would not be at the district. It's 6.15 am anyway, he should be awake. When she heard nothing from him, she made up her mind. She packed her bag and left, going to Jay's place.

Jay's car is parked on the road, so she let herself in the main door. Ever since Kevin was abducted, Voight required all members swap keys. At first Hailey wasn't thrilled, at that time Jay was still fresh from Camilla's fiasco and holding her at arm's length. They agreed to never use it unless necessary, they still knocked on the doors and never let themselves in. When Hailey didn't hear any response after knocking on Jay's door and calling his phone for a couple minutes, she took a deep breath and hoped Jay won't be too angry about her using her key. She slid the key into the hole and turned it, one hand on her weapon.

Turning on the light, she heard muffled sound from the bedroom. As often as she was here, she never went into the bedroom. She held her breath and opened the door slightly. Jay was trashing around on his bed, clearly having a nightmare. His breath was rugged. He let out a silent scream once in a while. Hailey considered two options quickly: 1) called Will, or 2) woke Jay up. Thinking that Will lives on the other side of the city, Hailey chose option 2. She stepped into the bedroom and very cautiously touched Jay's shoulder. She stepped back quickly, knowing he might fight her. Jay shot up sitting, his eyes wide and full of fear, his hands made a defence position.

"Jay!" Hailey's voice brought him back from Afghanistan to his apartment. His eyesight focused and he saw Hailey in front of him, eyes full of concern, but kept her distance. He suddenly realised that he almost hit her, and he panicked. He put his hands over his face. He felt Hailey's hand brushed against his back, rubbing his back as he tried to control his breathing.

"Don't do that again," said Jay as his breathing went back to normal. He felt chills all over his body as he was drenched in sweat.

"Sorry, you didn't answer your phone, and I've been at the door for sometimes I was worried…" Hailey trailed off.

"Not that. Don't come near me when I have nightmare. I might hurt you," whispered Jay.

"But you didn't," Hailey squeezed Jay's shoulder. She left and came back with a glass of water. Jay held out his trembling hands to accept the glass, than took small sips. Hailey's hand was on his back, holding him grounded, rather than floating back to the warzone.

"Why are you here?" asked Jay after a few minutes.

"You didn't answer your phone," said Hailey. Jay looked around for his phone. His eyes widened at the time.

"I have to go to Med to change my dressing. I'll be ready shortly," said Jay. He held the wound at his stomach, which felt slightly strange.

"No, actually, Voight called. There's a crime scene, but we're not called in. We have to finish the report before lunch. He said to come in a bit later, means that the yelling can wait," said Hailey. "I'll drive you to Med." She left Jay's room.

Jay stumbled to the bathroom, took a quick shower, and got dressed. He saw a man with shadows under his eyes looking back at him from the mirror. He took a deep breath before going to the kitchen. Hailey had made herself a cup of coffee and was scrolling through her phone. She didn't mention anything about witnessing Jay's nightmare.

"You want coffee?" asked Hailey. Jay thought of it, his stomach did feel funny. He didn't want to insult it further with caffeine.

"No, thanks," said Jay, prompting Hailey to look surprised. He drank a glass of water and grabbed his shoes. "I have to go to Med first. Is Voight expecting you early? I can drive myself."

"He's not at the district probably until around 10. He made it clear that we're involved in the new case only after last one's paperwork is done," Hailey finished her coffee. "No, you're not driving. I'll drive you to Med, then to the district." They went to Hailey's car.

"Hey, about what you saw…" Jay trailed off once they were inside the car. What exactly was he trying to say? 'Forget about it'? Or 'that doesn't happen every day'? Hailey looked at him. "I'm working on getting the nightmares under control. Some days it works, some days it doesn't. Since my father died, it came in full force. I couldn't even close my eyes without getting nightmares," admit Jay. His eyes widened when he remembered that he fell asleep on Hailey's shoulder, for a whole night, without getting nightmares.

"You don't have to explain if you don't want to," Hailey touched his arm.

"Don't come near me again when I have nightmare, Hailey. I don't wanna hurt you," said Jay.

"You won't. I have good reflexes too," Hailey smiled. "Anything I can do to help, Jay. And I'm sorry I let myself into your apartment," She started the car.

"I'll take that as necessary. I'd do the same thing if I called you ten times and you do not answer," Jay shrugged.

Redressing the wound at Med was a breeze. The ED was empty, only two patients, both were injured while out in the night. Jay got Ethan to change his dressing in five minutes. Jay slipped outside quickly. He knew Will was not working, but he was not in the mood of seeing Natalie.

"What was that? Redressing a wound or changing band aid?" asked Hailey, enlightening their moods.

"I got my wound redressed, not stitched," countered Jay. "Alright, let's do the paperwork!"

"Yeah, let's see that enthusiasm at 11 after you type your report, Halstead," teased Hailey.

"Let's make a deal. First to finish report get free lunch?" challenged Jay.

"Game on. You're the one who got shot, your report would be a mile long," Hailey smirked. Jay just laughed. He planned on buying Hailey lunch anyway… after everything, he could say thank you to his partner for being there for him.


	4. Chapter 4

It turned up to be a long day for both of them. Hailey finished typing up her report around 10, right in time for Antonio to bring her to interview a witness. She just smirked at Jay, waving her report. Voight came back at 11, the bullpen was empty save for Jay who just finished his report.

"Halstead, my office," grumbled the sergeant. Jay followed him into his office, preparing himself for the anger that would come his way. Minutes after Jay left Voight's office after being reprimanded, Antonio and Hailey figured out that the witness had turned into a victim. Voight sent Kim and Kevin and took Jay to the crime scene. They found stashes of cash in the victim's house, but no drugs which was weird, as this was originally a drug case.

By 3 pm, they found the next stash house through Antonio's CI. When they raided the house, it was empty save for a couple bags of cheap drugs and another body. Frustration was evident in everyone's faces as they went back to the district, started digging from zero. Kevin pulled a surveillance video which showed the second victim receiving the drugs, so Adam and Kevin went to question people around if they had seen who gave him those drugs.

Voight dismissed Jay at 6 to go to his dad's memorial service. Jay raised his eyebrow at Hailey, who shrugged and threw her car key at Jay. She wanted to go, she did promise Will that she would come. However with the speed bodies were dropping, they weren't going home anytime soon.

"I'll drop off your car later," promised Jay. Hailey nodded. She patted his arm.

"I'll keep you updated," she whispered. Jay left the district.

* * *

Jay purposely avoided Will when he arrived at the chapel. Will was speaking to someone he didn't know, so he went to the half opened casket. He shook his head when he felt the emotions he was trying to suppress came back. Determined not to let his emotion got the best of him, he quickly went to the door, greeted an old friend of his dad.

Natalie slipped in beside Will right when the service started. "Right on time," whispered Will.

"Yeah, left Owen at Helen's for the night, he made a scene," Natalie shrugged.

"I feel bad for keeping you from him," said Will.

"Don't be. You're doing Helen a favour. She adores him," Natalie looked at Jay. "He's still mad at you?" she whispered. Will shrugged. They were interrupted by the start of service.

Throughout the service, Jay looked straight ahead, refused to look at the casket. He still felt guilty at his last words at his father. They were never on good terms; after his father's heart surgery, they tolerated each other just enough to take care of his heart condition. He was really worried at the fire scene, though. However, after knowing he was alive and well and got yelled at, his emotions got the better of him. He was angry, he admitted that much. He was angry at his father, for being dead suddenly, for not showing that he was proud of him. He was angry at Will, for being on better term with their father, for coping better than him with everything. And lastly, he was angry at Natalie. Natalie was still there while Erin left. She wore the ring that was supposed to be Erin's. Jay was surprised, and ashamed, that he thought that way. Erin left, she doesn't deserve wearing that ring; Jay repeated the words he said in the shrink's office over and over again. Erin left her, Natalie stayed by Will's side. Despite everything Will did in the past, his brother does deserve happiness.

Will glanced at Jay, trying to read him. His worry yesterday grew when he realised that Jay wasn't showing any emotions. In fact, Will was sure his mind is elsewhere. He clapped Jay's back, hoping he wouldn't startle Jay. Jay looked at him, pain flashed in his eyes for a second, before looking back ahead. Will squeezed Jay's shoulder, hoping to convey his concern.

* * *

Meanwhile in the district, they got a lead about the hiding place of the suspects. They raided the place, however it was not without a hitch. They found the drugs and the suspects, but one ran away. Hailey ran after him. The suspect was about to cross the street when a car passed. Hailey jumped onto the car hood with the suspect, bringing him down with her. She got him for a split second, then he aimed a punch to her face. She lost momentum so he went on top of her, choking her. She couldn't breathe and could feel herself slipping out of consciousness, but managed to kick him in the stomach to get him to release her. Antonio and Kim arrived in an instant. Kim cuffed him, while Antonio went to Hailey's aid.

"You're okay?" Antonio hovered on top of her.

"Yeah," Hailey was still gasping for air, she coughed to try to get air into her lungs. Antonio pulled her up, but she blacked out for a second.

"Hey!" Antonio propped her up. She flinched when Antonio grabbed her shoulder; she was sure it would be bruised.

"I'm okay," Hailey tried to walk on her own, but her legs felt like jelly.

"It's okay, I got you," Antonio carefully helped her walk. "Good job with the tackle," Antonio helped her sit in his car and gave her a water bottle. He felt her pulse which was rapid.

"Upton, go to Med, get that looked at," Voight appeared in front of her.

"I'm good,"

"You took a hell of a punch to your face," grumbled Voight, at the same time Antonio said, "you look like hell".

"Nothing is broken or dislocated so I'll be good as soon as I take a shower," Hailey insisted.

"Suit yourself," Voight gave up on his stubborn detective. "Good job. Antonio, bring her home. You drive, you're benched." Antonio jumped in the car and started driving.

"Where's your car?" asked Antonio.

"I picked Jay up this morning, he took it to go to his father's service."

"Right, it's tonight," said Antonio. "You want me to drop you there instead?"

"You said yourself that I look like hell," countered Hailey. "I feel like hell anyway."

"You sure you're okay? We can go to Med," Antonio was concerned.

"Yeah, I'll be good. He did a good choke on me though," said Hailey. She read texts on her phone. "Change of plan, Antonio. Drop me at St. Lucia's."

"For the service?" asked Antonio.

"Yeah," Hailey didn't elaborate, and she didn't need to. Antonio, like everyone, noticed that the partners had become friends over time, and relied on each other a lot.

"You want something to change to? There's my jacket or Eva's, your pick," said Antonio.

"Yours," Hailey rolled her eyes. Antonio reached to the back and gave her his CPD jacket. She cringed at the pain on her shoulder when she changed out of her jacket to his.

"If you need anything, call me," said Antonio when he dropped Hailey at the church. He gave a bottle of Tylenol to Hailey. Hailey thanked him and went inside, popping a Tylenol. She massaged her shoulder, hoping the pain would lessen soon. She went to the bathroom to freshen up. She felt out of place with casual, no, dirty clothes and bruised face and neck. However, both Will and Jay texted her. Will asked her to come get Jay, while Jay asked her to text her when she's home.

Hailey slipped inside and sat at the back, next to Sharon Goodwin. The hospital leader gasped quietly when she saw Hailey's face. Hailey smiled at her. A couple minutes later, the service ended.

"Detective, let me check those bruises," offered Sharon.

"I'm fine," said Hailey. Sharon didn't ask for permission before touching her neck, where she knew a hand was imprinted. She flinched.

"Is there any unseen injuries?"

"My shoulder was bruised, but it's not dislocated so I'm good," said Hailey.

"Come by the hospital if you need, Detective," said Sharon. Hailey nodded with no intention of going. She went to the front where Will, Jay, and Natalie were chatting with some guests. Jay shook their hands, hearing their small stories about his father, and then when the guests were leaving, he dropped on the front row chair. Will caught Hailey's eyes and gasped.

"What happened?" He pointed to the bruises at her face as he came closer. Upon closer examination, he noticed the hand print on her neck. "Who did this?"

"A criminal I caught," answered Hailey.

"I'll check you later," Will pointed to Jay. "He hasn't spoken a word and wore that blank expression all the time."

"Hey," Hailey sat beside Jay.

"Hey," said Jay without looking at her. They sat in silence for a while. It was then that Jay realised her injuries.

"Hailey, what's going on!? Where did you get those?"

"It's okay, I'm fine," said Hailey.

"The hell you are! Who was your backup?" Jay was livid. He left her for two hours and she was hurt.

"Jay, I'm fine, really. I chased a runaway, slammed him against a car hood. He decided to punch and choke me," Hailey calmed him down. Jay grabbed her shoulder, making her wince. "And my shoulder is bruised," she added, touching his arm.

"Jay!" Will called him. Jay ignored him, giving Hailey a look over.

"Go," Hailey gave him a gentle push. Jay walked to Will who stood near the casket with two staff from the funeral house. "Are we having the casket opened or closed on Saturday?" asked Will.

"Closed," answered Jay.

"Then is it okay to close it now? Do you need time to say goodbye?" asked the staff. Jay bit his lip once he realised that he would be saying goodbye right then.

"Alright," said Will. He walked to the casket and looked down. "See ya, Pops. Say hi to Mom," he managed a smile. He motioned to Natalie to join him. "And this is Nat, she's gonna be my wife. And there's Owen. You're gonna like Owen, he reminds me of Jay as a kid," Will held his dad's hand. He sighed and walked away, patting Jay's shoulder. "Take your time," Will whispered.

"Dad, I…" Jay choked on his words. What was he trying to say? He was never lost at words when it comes to his father, except right then. He felt tears started to fall from his eyes, but he couldn't care less. "I didn't mean what I said," he whispered. "I know you were proud of me… I… I wish I could hear it directly," he sobbed.

Will watched Jay from a safe distance. He didn't want to disturb Jay, but wanted to be there should Jay needed him. Nat sat beside Hailey.

"Don't ask about my face," Hailey warned.

"Get that looked at. He's lucky you're there for him," said Nat.

"Anytime. He's my partner," Hailey sighed. They watched Jay's shoulders trembled and figured he was crying. A minute passed and Will stepped beside him. After Jay whispered his goodbye, Will touched the casket.

"I promise we'll be good, Pops. We'll try not to fight often," said Will. Jay looked at him through his tears. Will's heart broke seeing his brother hurt like that.

"Sorry, Will," Jay pleaded. Will pulled him into a hug. He nodded at the staff who closed the casket.

"No, I'm sorry," insisted Will. He walked Jay to Hailey. Jay collapsed in her arms, drawing comfort from her. Hailey cringed when she moved her arm to rub his back, calming him down like she did few days ago.

"Thanks for being here," whispered Jay once he got himself under control.

"Anytime," said Hailey.

"Beer?" asked Jay, wiping his tears. Hailey laughed.

"We should get going," said Will. Jay nodded. "You should go to Med just to make sure nothing's broken or dislocated. You seem uncomfortable with your shoulder," said Will.

"I'll call the ER," Natalie pulled her phone.

"It's okay, really, I feel fantastic," said Hailey. Three pairs of eyes looked at her sceptically.

"I'll take her to Med," said Jay. "Antonio said you couldn't breathe and blacked out, that's not fantastic." Hailey sighed. Arguing with two doctors and an overprotective partner is a lost cause. They separated at the door. Will patted Jay's shoulder.

"You're okay?" asked Hailey once they got in the car.

"As good as can be," Jay shrugged. He drove to Med. April was expecting Hailey, and Noah checked her shoulder. As she said, it was fine. She got her shoulder wrapped for precaution, and she was given painkiller. She had to take it easy the next few days otherwise it might become worse. Jay picked her back up in the lobby.

"See, I'm good," Hailey smirked. Once they arrived at Hailey's place, Jay pulled out two beers and a bag of frozen corn from the fridge.

"Nope, I had painkiller," said Hailey when Jay offered her beer. Jay put the bag of frozen corn on her neck. Hailey sighed in relief. It felt good.

"I didn't see you during the service, I thought you didn't come," Jay admitted. He pulled a bottle of tequila and poured himself a shot.

"I sat in the back, near Ms. Goodwin. I arrived just before it was finished,"

"I should grieve better, rather than being a mess." Jay sat on the couch after taking off his tie and suit.

"No one made a manual on how to grieve. You can grieve however you grieve, there's no right or wrong. Some cried. Some fainted. Some got angry. Some cleaned their house when they grieved. You shouldn't be ashamed to be a mess, you're a human."

"Thanks," Jay smiled. He contemplated his next words while sipping beer.

"And you shouldn't feel pressured to tell anybody anything. You may open up or bottle up however you see fit. If you need an ear, I can lend one. If you just wanna drink alcohol, I'll watch your bottle and tell you when to stop," Hailey smirked. Jay smiled softly, remembering the Camilla fiasco when she threatened to dump him as a partner.

"During the service I realised something… why I won't talk to Nat. Not only she's Will's girlfriend, but she reminded me of… of Erin," Jay gulped, suddenly feeling queasy. It's been a while since he suppressed the memory of Erin. How she left, how heavy the ring box felt on his jeans when he brought it back home. Hailey looked at him sympathetically. She was barely part of the team, partnered with Erin once, and she left.

"I am happy for them, I really am. But she reminded me of Erin. And that's hard," said Jay. "The ring was our mom's. I was gonna propose when she left. And now Nat has it, it all came back to me," Jay whispered.

"I'm sorry," said Hailey. She touched his shoulder.

"It's okay," said Jay. "I thought I was over it. I am over her, but I am not over the pain of being betrayed. She left without saying goodbye. Everyone does," Jay shook his head. He finished his beer and pulled out the third one. Hailey grabbed his beer bottle.

"Stop drinking," scolded Hailey, putting the beer and frozen corn back into the fridge. "Stop or I'm telling Sarge that you got a concussion from ignoring your partner's advice," she jokingly threatened, but he knew she was serious about telling Voight.

"Then who's gonna keep you from having accidents?" Jay rolled his eyes at her. "How are you feeling?" He cringed at the nasty bruise forming on her neck.

"I'm better," said Hailey. "What do you mean everyone left?"

"Mouse left. Erin left. Before that, my ranger buddies died in the war. Al. My mom. And now my dad. It's unfair," whispered Jay. "I wish I could turn back time. I wouldn't let people get close to me so they don't leave."

"It's better to have them for a season in your life, rather than nothing," Hailey reasoned. "You still have Will. Don't push him away."

"It's complicated. He got to make up with our dad. He was proud of him. He didn't just keep photos and news of Will, he said it. Loud and clear," Jay's tears threatened to fall.

"Jay, don't regret anything. It will drag you down the hole," Hailey gripped his arm. Jay looked down. "The pain will always be there. You just deal with it better. Don't live with regret. I'm sure you dad wanted to tell you himself how proud he was of you. Just like how you wanted to tell him you love him." Hailey made a mental note to call her parents the next day. "You're tired and emotional. Get some sleep, you'll feel better tomorrow."

Jay let out a deep breathe. He couldn't really go home, he had drunk too much. And Hailey couldn't drive him either, she had painkiller and her shoulder was hurt. He didn't want to sleep there, considering he might get nightmare.

"Here," Hailey grabbed a blanket from a cupboard and threw it at Jay. She sensed his reluctance. "You drank too much, either you wait until 2 am to drive home, or you sleep on the couch."

"I can grab an Uber. I don't wanna disturb you," said Jay.

"You won't. I don't trust you with alcohol now," Hailey said firmly.

"I might get nightmare, you need to rest."

"I'm a heavy sleeper, and I'm on painkiller. Besides, you need someone to wake you up if you have one. I'll help however I can," insisted Hailey. Jay knew Hailey is just as stubborn as he is, so he gave up.

"On one condition. You don't come near me if I have nightmare. I don't wanna hurt you," said Jay. Hailey didn't react. "Hey, I'm serious. I will never forgive myself if I hurt you. Throw something at me, do whatever, just don't come near me."

"You won't." Hailey brewed two mugs of tea and brought them to the coffee table. "Here. I always make it when I have trouble sleeping."

"Thanks," Jay accepted the mug. They drank in silence. After all the alcohol, the tea was very soothing for Jay.

"Hey, maybe it worth nothing compared to what you want to hear, but I'm proud being your partner," Hailey smiled.

"Likewise. It means a lot, thank you," Jay returned her smile. He put his mug on the table and lay down. Hailey squeezed his shoulder, and then went to her bedroom bringing her tea. Jay smiled to himself. He might not be okay, but he is on the right track to healing. He got everything he needed to heal. Feeling peaceful for the first time in a couple days, he drifted to sleep.

* * *

_This is quite longer than I expected because I don't know where to cut it! I don't have next chapter written as I'm considering to either conclude it as it is or add new chapters about something (help!?)._


	5. Chapter 5

Jay was awoken at midnight by a dream. It was not necessarily an Afghanistan nightmare as usual. This time, he dreamed of his parents, Erin, Mouse, Al, and eventually Will and Hailey leaving him on his own. He gasped when he woke up and felt tears were streaming down his eyes. He never had that kind of dream before. He wanted to go check on Hailey, made sure she was still in there, but thought better than to go into his female partner's bedroom in the middle of the night. Not only that it's inappropriate, but also she would wrestle him to the ground, even with an injured shoulder. Not to mention that she needed to sleep because she had painkiller. He pulled out his phone and called Will.

"Hey. What is it?" Will answered, sleepy, but concerned.

"No, sorry I called," said Jay, suddenly embarrassed. However, he was relieved to hear Will's voice on the other end.

"Jay, what is it? Is something happened?" Will was rightfully worried. Jay took their dad's death harder than him, especially because they didn't end on good term. Those last words were going to haunt Jay for a long time. Will was a bit relieved when he learned that Jay had been opening up to Hailey, knowing that he had someone to lean on, but still…

"Yeah… no. Just, had a dream. You were in it so I thought…" Jay trailed off. He just needed to hear his brother's voice, to ground him, to assure him that despite being in his dream, Will was alive and well and still very much in his life.

"You need me to come over?" asked Will, his voice softened.

"No! No, I'm good. Sorry I called this late… Go back to sleep, will you? Talk to you later," said Jay.

"Alright. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I am," Jay assured Will, then hung up the call. He kicked himself when he heard Hailey's bedroom door opened, she peeked from the door with a weapon drawn.

"Jay? Is everything okay?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah," answered Jay, trying to make himself sound as believable as possible. He was somehow relieved to see her, to know that she had not left or died. Hailey turned on the living room light and saw Jay's bloodshot eyes. She went back to her room to put her weapon. Jay was grateful for the fact that he didn't check on her earlier. He would get shot in the head otherwise.

"Nightmare?" Hailey sat beside him.

"Not necessarily."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not necessarily a nightmare… This one was different," Jay contemplated how much should he tell her. He was not used to talk about these things. He liked to believe that between Hailey and himself, he was the tougher one. He protected her, not the other way around. He hated to be the kind of partner whom she takes care of. Not to mention the amount of tears he shed in front of her in the past few days. Sure, he was grieving, but that doesn't make it easier to admit that he needed her more than she needed him.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me," Hailey walked to the kitchen, squeezing his shoulder when she passed him. She made a cup of tea and offered it to Jay.

"Who did you talk to?" Hailey asked.

"Will." Jay avoided looking at Hailey.

"Everything okay with him?"

"Yeah… I was the one who called him," said Jay. They stayed in silence. "Sorry I woke you up."

"You didn't. The painkiller wore off; I was supposed to take it again at 12. But I heard you talking so I was concerned," Hailey explained. She was confused, and scared, when she heard voices. Being in Robbery/Homicide for a while did come with a side effect: she had developed paranoia about breaking and entering.

"Usually my nightmares were about the war. About the women and children murdered," Jay started, visibly shivered. "The one you witnessed yesterday… I was used to that. While I woke up in that state—panicked and ready to throw people against the wall—the dream was always the same scene that happened on my last tour. The one that made me left. Doesn't make it any easier though, it broke me each time." Jay swallowed a lump in his throat. He didn't want to talk about this, but he needed to. Not only that he owed her that much for helping him through all this, but deep down he also knew that opening up would keep him from going down that rabbit hole again. He had made a huge progress with the therapist last year, he didn't want to undo everything and be back in square zero.

"The dream was about people I know. My mom, dad, Erin, Mouse, Al left me. In my dream, Will also left. I was on my own. I needed to call him, to make sure he was still here," Jay said slowly, his voice was barely above whisper.

"He wouldn't leave you, he's your brother."

"Yeah, but…" Jay trailed off. "He left the first time. And Mouse, we vowed to stay out of the war, to get better. But he got back there. And Erin… yeah, you know," Jay whispered. "So I have to know for sure that Will doesn't leave."

Hailey's heart broke for Jay the moment Jay voiced his doubt. She was on good terms with her brothers and parents, she couldn't imagine doubting her family. She knew from fleeting conversations and casual mentions that Will just got back to Chicago a few years ago. He wasn't present for Jay when he needed help adjusting back to civilian life, neither when his mom was dying. From meeting Will a couple times both on duty and in Molly's, she didn't see someone who would abandon his brother. In the past, he might be irresponsible, but now, he's not, especially after he dated Natalie. He was very protective of Jay, despite them disagreeing from time to time. She absentmindedly rubbed Jay's shoulder. Jay finished the tea.

"You were there, too," said Jay after pondering for a while. Hailey looked at him in surprise. "In my dream. And you left. Just like the others."

"That's only a dream. I'm here."

"I know."

"It's okay. Drill into your mind that Will wouldn't leave. Neither will I," said Hailey. Jay nodded. Hailey had a feeling that Jay didn't tell her everything. He was holding back something that upset him, but she refrained from asking. He would tell her if he wanted her to know.

"Have you had the painkiller?" asked Jay.

"Yeah. Wouldn't be this calm without it."

"So it did hurt, and you didn't wanna go to Med," Jay mocked.

"A bit, yeah, Mr. Always Right," Hailey slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Try to go back to sleep," Hailey ordered while pulling Jay to lie across the couch. His head was almost touching her thigh as sat there, not leaving him. She put her hand lightly on his shoulder. Jay grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"Thanks," he said sincerely, for the umpteenth time in the past few days. He was grateful that Hailey made a point not to leave him before he was asleep. Concentrating on Hailey's firm hand on his shoulder, he let sleep consumed him.

* * *

Jay woke up early the next day. He was pleasantly surprised to realise that he didn't get another nightmare. Smelling coffee, he looked around. He didn't see Hailey, but she had started the coffee and cleaned up the beer bottles. Usually when he slept without nightmare, he was a light sleeper. Either Hailey must be really quiet or he slept really well to sleep peacefully with her moving around.

"Yes, Dad. I will see you next week. Tell Angie Aunt Hailey said hi. Love you," he heard Hailey spoke from the slightly opened bedroom. Hailey stopped on the doorframe when she realised Jay was looking at her.

"Sorry, I thought you were asleep." She felt guilty for calling her dad, while Jay just lost his. However, their conversation last night made her needed to call her family. Hailey poured coffee to two mugs and passed one to Jay. They sat on the kitchen stool.

"Don't be. Aunt Hailey? How come I didn't know you have a niece?"

"I have three," Hailey scrolled through her phone and showed picture of three little girls. "Amber, Jamie, and Angie, she's three. Angie is staying with my parents this week, hence I said hi."

"So Aunt Hailey spoiled them, huh?" Jay teased her. He felt grateful for the kick of caffeine. He had to admit that he was feeling a bit of a hangover; he felt tired.

"Of course. My brothers banned me because I always come with gift for them," said Hailey. "So much for a self-proclaimed light sleeper… I almost checked your pulse… you slept like a rock while I made noises cleaning."

"Yeah, finally I could sleep normally after all the nightmares." Jay sighed.

"That's good." Hailey took bagels from her fridge. "Want one?"

"I'll pass, thank you," said Jay. He didn't want to admit to Hailey that he still felt the alcohol from last night.

"At least have some toast. You have to eat something," Hailey insisted. She toasted a piece of bread and gave it to Jay, smirking. She felt bad for him; she knows how it feels to have hangover on workdays; but she cannot help but tease him for drinking too much.

"How's the shoulder?" Jay asked.

"Better than yesterday," said Hailey. The bruises on her face and neck were very visible, though. Part of her cheek was purplish, and the offender's hand print is imprinted on Hailey's neck. Jay shuddered when he thought about her being pinned down, unconscious on the ground. He moved her hair to get a better look at her bruise. She inched back on reflex. He pulled his hand back, muttering "sorry".

"Sorry I wasn't there, I would've protected you," Jay said. It had been on the back of his head since he saw her in the church. His first thought was to blame whoever it is that replaced him as her partner. He pulled out his phone to find someone to blame only to find a text from Antonio, explaining what had happened and asking him to bring her to Med.

"It's okay. Definitely not my worst injury," Hailey unconsciously touched her cheek.

"Does it still hurt?" Jay asked referring to the bruises.

"A little bit," Hailey smiled. Her alarm went off.

"Drop me home to change and grab my car, would you?"

"Let me get ready," Hailey finished her bagels and went to her room. When she was ready, they went to the office. Hailey dropped Jay at his apartment.

"I'll see you at the office," said Hailey.

"Thank you again, Hailey. This should've been a relaxing week for you, not a I-have-to-deal-with-my-partner week."

"Really, Jay? One: you were always a handful, I've been through worse. Two: do we ever have a relaxing week?" Hailey laughed, rolled her eyes, and started driving.

* * *

"Upton," called Voight as soon as Hailey climbed the stairs. Hailey went to his office, where Voight signalled for her to close the door. As far as she remembered, she didn't do anything wrong.

"How's the shoulder?" asked the sergeant.

"It's fine. Went to Med last night, saw Dr. Sexton. I was on painkiller until last night, but I should be clear now," answered Hailey.

"I need to warn you about the worst possibility. If the IAD aren't happy with how we handled the Mendoza case, and I need to answer about Halstead's involvement in the chase, you will be questioned. You answer honestly. He gave you his key and two-way, and that's it. You know nothing about what happened until you saw him on the ground. Am I clear?"

"Copy that," Hailey nodded.

"Now I need to ask you. You still want to partner with him?"

"Sorry?"

"What I'm saying is I won't blame you if you want to work with someone else in this team for a while. He did lash at you pretty hard and personal. Something I don't accept happening in my team," said Voight.

"I… yeah. We're good," Hailey didn't want to go into details. Voight was surprised at how quickly Hailey defended Jay. He saw himself how hurt Hailey was after Jay insulted her in front of everyone. And Jay did admit to insult her further later. Jay did ask, no, more like beg, him to reconsider separating them. He needed to hear the refusal from both parties, though.

"He just needed a punching bag then. And I was there. He apologised already. We have talked about it. And I've forgiven him. We don't need a time out, Sarge," said Hailey.

"Alright, if you say so," Voight stood. "You're on desk duty today unless absolutely necessary."

When Hailey went to her desk she thought about it. She got a good idea about what Jay didn't tell her last night.

* * *

_I finally decided that last chapter wasn't the last because we don't have any moments between them in 6x18. However, in 6x19, it looked like we will have them working together (as shown in promo). As for the direction this story is going... I still cannot picture them getting romantic without the show leading by example (which is no problem for me, I really like female-male platonic friendship). So, for now they're friends, with a deeper level of friendship than before. I also have been enjoying and getting inspired by many other fanfics and am not ashamed to admit that I checked in multiple times a day to see if there's any new uploads! _


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, how's your shoulder?" asked Antonio as he came and passed Hailey's desk on the way to Voight's office. "Get ready guys." The second-in-command waved a case file. Everyone groaned. They hadn't even finished yesterday's paperwork.

"Went to Med last night, it was fine," said Hailey.

"Your face is a mess," Adam chimed in.

"Gee, thanks. Just something every girl needs to hear," laughed Hailey. "Yeah, wanted to pick up coffee, but I don't feel like being asked about my abusive husband," said Hailey.

"It happened before?" asked Kevin.

"Yeah, went to a grocery store with a bruised cheek and torn lips. A lady stopped me and convinced me to report my abusive husband to the police. She didn't believe me when I said I was a cop and got beaten by a suspect," she rolled her eyes.

"It would've been more awkward if you have a man with you," Kim giggled.

"Yeah, I don't really want to being seen together with you with that face, I would've been bashed by that old lady," said Kevin.

"Yeah, leave it to Jay," said Adam. They all laughed as Jay came up the stairs. He put a cup of coffee on Hailey's desk. "Speak of the devil," muttered Kim.

"My hero. This is why I don't need to go to coffee shop," Hailey flashed him a smile and 'thank you' nod.

"We have a case," Voight said. Antonio filled them in on the case. It was another drug case with underage courier whose stomach was torn.

"Halstead, you go with Atwater and Ruzek," Voight announced. They were gonna meet at the crime scene. "Upton, you're with me."

Hailey was surprised that Voight took her to the field, despite ordering her to ride the desk not even an hour ago. She didn't bother to confirm whether he changed his mind or forgot, she grabbed her weapon while grinning. She missed Jay's hurt face, but didn't miss the snickers behind her.

"What?" she turned to face Kevin, Adam, and Kim who were all grinning.

"Don't go to a coffee shop," said Kevin.

"Or grocery store," added Kim. They all laughed. Hailey cannot help but laughed, avoiding the sergeant's questioning look as they all went to the garage.

"You stayed behind me, and only me. You're attached to my hip," instructed Voight to Hailey. Hailey nodded.

"Copy that. I thought I'm not changing partner?" Hailey dared to ask.

"Today, it's either me or the desk," growled Voight. Hailey knew better than to ask further.

* * *

Jay followed Adam and Kevin to their car. Judging from Voight's order, his partnering day with Hailey is over. Both Adam and Kevin didn't say much, they figured he needed some space for grieving. Jay appreciated the silent concern; he wasn't in the mood for a chat anyway.

However, he was really hurt. A couple hours prior, Hailey said that she wasn't going to leave him. Turns out she agreed, no, was happy, to change partner, judging from her smile when Voight announced the partner swap. Was that only sweet words, to calm him down, to help him sleep better? Sighing, he promised himself to not trust anyone anymore. He was in a mess when Erin left without even saying goodbye, he did not wish to fall into another hole.

* * *

"Can I ask you something?" asked Hailey to Jay when they met in the locker room later that day. The case had hit a dead end, and they were dismissed.

"Yeah?"

"Did Voight say something to you the other day? About separating us?" asked Hailey, closing the door.

"Yeah, he did," said Jay. "Figured it's about time you stop putting up with my crap," Jay shrugged. "I appreciate you looking out for me, Hailey. You've been helping me a lot and I don't know how I can thank you. But if you want to change partner, I'd like a heads up."

"What…" Hailey was perplexed.

"I thought we are good," Jay dropped to the bench. "Am I wrong?"

"We are good," stressed Hailey. She stepped towards Jay, but stopped once she realised what Jay was implying.

"Why are you riding with Sarge?" Jay looked hurt. "Last night you said that you're not leaving. How can I trust you?"

"It was either him or the desk, his quote. Of course it's him," said Hailey aloud. "Or maybe you shouldn't trust me and ask him instead," she hissed in a dangerously low voice, equally hurt. "You know, we cannot be partners if you don't trust me." The door was opened and Kim appeared. She sensed the tension in the room and backtracked.

"Sorry, go on," Kim addressed no one in particular.

"No Kim, please. We're done here," said Hailey. She grabbed her bag and slammed her locker. "Night, guys." With that, she left. Jay felt dread filled him. He rubbed his face and took a deep breathe.

"Sorry, Jay," said Kim.

"It's okay. To be honest, the interruption was welcomed," said Jay. Kim opened her locker and grabbed her bag.

"Yeah, I can see that. You're having a partners' tiff," said Kim.

"Call it whatever you want," sighed Jay.

"You know what, judging from my history, I shouldn't be giving a partnership advice. But I know when you meet the right partner, like Voight and Al, you hold on to her," said Kim.

"Yeah, you came two minutes too late," said Jay. "Thanks, Kim." He went to the door.

"Hey, Jay?" He stopped. "She's a good partner. I don't know what you fought about, neither do I wanna know. But make it right, Antonio is ready to dump me for her," Kim joked.

"You're not bad either, Kim. I'll drill it into his head anytime," said Jay. Kim smiled thanking him, and he went to the parking lot. Hailey's car was no longer there.

"Geez, Halstead, good job," he muttered to himself. He went to Hailey's place. After circling her block three times, he didn't see her car. He thought about it for a while before calling her. She picked up on the third call.

"Jay, I'm in the middle of something. I'll call you when I'm done," said Hailey. She hung up immediately. Knowing he shouldn't be alone, he ended up going to Will's.

"Hey, are you at home?" Jay asked as soon as Will picked up.

"Yeah. You wanna come over?" asked Will.

"Yeah. Owen's home?" He needed distraction.

"Nope, He's at Helen's, Nat's on shift. You wanna come see me or Owen?" Will pretended to sound hurt. Jay gave a weak laugh.

"Him, of course. We haven't finished playing police and fireman," said Jay. "I'll be there in 15."

"I'll order pizza. The usual?" asked Will. After giving his order, Jay hung up. When he arrived, Will didn't waste time to ask about last night's phone call.

"What was that last night? I nearly jumped in the car," Will asked when he opened the door. Jay sighed.

"Nightmare," answered Jay.

"You don't usually call when you have nightmare, Jay. Not that I am disturbed or anything, it was just weird. I thought something happened," said Will.

"No, well… I dreamed about you. Actually, about everyone that had left. Mom, dad, Al, Erin, Mouse. You, Hailey," said Jay.

"Us?"

"Yeah. I don't know. You were there. She was, too. You all left," said Jay.

"So you decided to call me to check that I hadn't died or left," concluded Will.

"It was either you or Hailey," Jay shrugged, eating the pizza. "Figured you'd be pissed less."

"I don't think so. She would understand," Will disagreed. He was still wondering what the relationship between them was. As far as he knew, they were just partners, maybe friends. But Hailey's constant presence at Jay's side lately made Will thought whether there was something more. However he knew that Jay would not leave him out of the loop about something this important. Jay had a lot of baggage though, so he needed to sort them out first before jumping into relationship with anyone.

"I crashed at her couch last night. If I went to check on her she might shoot me in the head. Not to mention it's inappropriate and creepy," Jay rolled his eyes. Will chuckled. "She did check on me after we hung up, with a weapon drawn," Jay continued. Will burst out laughing.

"I thought you and her…" wondered Will. Jay shook his head.

"No no no. It's gonna be too much of a trouble, man. We work together, remember? Moreover, I'm not in the dating pool right now. Don't wanna burden anyone with my baggage," Jay explained. "You would be first to know when that person exists. Now, can we talk about something else?" Will smirked; relieved to have lightened the conversation and elicit a blushing face from Jay.

"I think I understand why everyone left, Will. I pushed them away," sighed Jay after finishing his slice.

"Jay, mom and dad didn't leave. They died," said Will.

"I pushed Hailey away. I said I didn't trust her," said Jay.

"You were nursing your broken heart after Erin left, she must understood why you said that to her," Will was confused. What was this about?

"No, I said that today. I misunderstood. Damn, Will. She's my partner. My best friend. And all I've been doing is yelling at her, accusing her of something. I bet while she didn't want to change partner earlier, she wants to now," Jay rambled. "And I was wrong. I said people left me. No, I push people away. I pushed her away, and I might push you away later," Jay shook his head.

"So what? I cannot be pushed away that easily," said Will. He moved his chair beside Jay, putting his hand on Jay's shoulder. "And I think Hailey's not that easy to get rid of too. She's loyal and understanding," he added.

"See? She doesn't deserve me as a partner. I'm gonna tell Voight to partner her with someone else," said Jay.

"Then yes, you're pushing her away. Jay, you cannot play victim here. You gotta work to keep people around you. I, you cannot get rid of. I'm your family. We've drifted apart once, it's not happening again. You're stuck with me. But her, hell, if I have a friend who stuck by me like that, I'm gonna chain her to me." Will was also concerned about the funeral. Jay needed someone to hold him grounded tomorrow. Jay didn't say anything for a while.

"I don't feel good. Can I stay here tonight?" Jay asked. Will became concerned. He held Jay's forehead and felt his pulse. "My head's throbbing, I'm really tired," Jay elaborated.

"Sure. You can sleep in Owen's room," said Will. Jay went to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he went to Owen's room. Will followed him, giving him Tylenol.

"We'll leave at 10 tomorrow, we'll stop by your place to get your suit," said Will. He tucked Jay in Owen's Donald Duck blanket, just like he did so often when they were little. He stroked Jay's hair, knowing it calmed him down, at least as a child. They were the best of buddies as kids, but he lost track of Jay's habits when Jay left for the Army. They lived together briefly, when Will just got settled in Chicago, and after they each broke up with Erin and Nina. That's when he learned about Jay's PTSD. Jay caught Will's hand when he stroked Jay's shoulder.

"Sleep. It's okay," said Will. He heard the unspoken question. "I'm gonna stay until you're asleep," whispered Will. Jay nodded. Will smiled to himself as he got settled sitting on the bed, leaning back on the headboard. He put his hand on Jay's head and absentmindedly stroking his hair.

Will felt Natalie shook his shoulder to wake him up. He looked up at his fiancée.

"Everything okay?" asked Natalie, whispering.

"Yeah. Rough day for him," Will didn't elaborate. "When we were little, sometimes I tucked him in. It helped his nightmares and fear of the storm. He always came to my room and hijacked my bed, and we ended up sleeping together. He gave nasty kicks and punches when he slept," Natalie smiled as she was treated to the little Halsteads' life.

"You want to sleep here?" asked Natalie.

"I thought without Owen, we could…" Will smirked mischievously. Natalie slapped his arm.

"No Owen, but Jay's here," she giggled. "And he needs you."

"Alright. I'll go get ready for bed. Can you watch him? Just think of him like Owen," said Will. Natalie laughed.

"Okay. If he wakes up I'll pick him up and carry him around," she said, amused. Will quickly slid outside. Natalie stood on the doorframe to watch her future brother-in-law. She realised that by marrying Will, she would be stuck with Jay as well. Will is very protective of his brother and won't hesitate to defend him from anything. She understood Jay better than expected. Jeff was a Marine, he saw nasty things abroad. It wasn't like flipping the switch. No longer in the service doesn't mean Jay was not in Afghanistan.

Will came back bringing his phone and Jay's after turning both to silent. He knew Jay was not on call tomorrow, so Voight wouldn't call. There was a missed call and text from Hailey. Thinking what he should do, he pecked Natalie's cheek.

"Did he cry? Or wet himself?" teased Will in a whisper.

"If Owen slept like this we won't need baby monitor," said Natalie.

"He has his own moments, Owen is cuter to cuddle," Will rolled his eyes.

"Go, sleep. Donald Duck is waiting." Natalie gave Will a light kiss.

"Yes, ma'am," said Will. Natalie closed the door from outside. Will slid beside Jay.

"Scoot over," he shoved Jay gently. He pulled out his phone under the cover and texted Hailey, letting her know Jay's reason for not replying her message.

_Will: Hailey, it's Will. Jay's at my place, and already asleep. I saw your missed call. You're gonna go to the burial tomorrow?_

_Hailey: Thanks for letting me know. I think so. I'll have to check with Jay._

_Will: I haven't said it, but thanks for being there for him._

_Hailey: He's my partner, of course._

Will closed his eyes, thinking at which points in life Jay was made to feel unworthy of receiving all the love and attention from his closest people. He wanted nothing than go back in time and beat the pulp out of the people who made Jay feel that way. He wished he could protect Jay from his own demons, just like he did with the thunderstorm when they were little.

Beside him, Jay tossed. Sighing, Will stroked Jay's hair until he calmed down, and drifted to sleep.

* * *

_I know that in PD it was said that Jay is the older brother, however I read somewhere that it was a dialogue mistake. From their behaviour I feel the writers projected Will as the older and Jay the younger brother (Will is the more thoughtful/concerned one whereas Jay is more stubborn). For this story I'll go with this theory. _


	7. Chapter 7

Jay woke up with his head throbbing. He blindly felt around for his phone, but his hand grazed Will who was sleeping with a soft snore beside him. He remembered how he ended up at Will's place after having partners' tiff with Hailey and how safe he felt as a 7 years old going to bed being tucked in by his brother. He was slightly touched, and embarrassed, that at 30ish his brother still tucks him in and sleep by his side. He didn't deny that he still feels as safe as back then, though. Growing up, they had always been close. He looked up to Will and Will doted on him. That was why he was hurt because Will wasn't around when their mom was dying, and also when he went back from the army. He knew Will beat himself about it, and he still is. Jay swore he saw remorse in Will's eyes every time those topics accidentally popped up. Sighing, he pushed himself sitting and put his head in his hands.

"What is it?" Will asked in a hoarse voice.

"Headache," mumbled Jay. Will turned on the bedside light and felt Jay's forehead and pulse. He gave Jay two Tylenols and a bottle of water.

"Here, drink this," Will shrug the pills in his hand. Jay took it and gulped the water. "Careful. Don't go too fast." Will took the water bottle back and capped it. He started massaging Jay's temple with one hand and put his other arm on Jay's back, massaging the nape of his neck.

"You get headache often?" asked Will.

"Only when I'm sick or stressed," mumbled Jay.

"Go lie down. Feeling better?"

"A bit. Yeah," sighed Jay. Will guided Jay to lie down, massaging his temple and nose bridge alternatively until Jay fell back asleep.

* * *

When Will woke up, he saw Jay slept in the same position as previously. Remembered that Jay usually trash around when he sleeps, and what happened previously, Will felt Jay's pulse.

"Your paranoia is getting worse," said Jay. Will could hear smile in his voice.

"Your pulse did spike earlier," remarked Will. "Feeling better?"

"A little bit, yeah. Didn't have nightmare," answered Jay. Will looked at his phone. 5.30 am.

"Good then. Go back to sleep," Will mumbled.

"I'm gonna see a shrink. I'll attend the group meeting again. I just want to get better... get healed. I don't want to just avoid the triggers," said Jay. He had been awake for a good hour now, thinking hard. He couldn't rely on people around him anymore. Sure, it's great to have them around and he won't have it any other way, but he needed professional help as well. He realised that he only slept peacefully when he had someone with him, be it Will or Hailey. He wanted to go to bed and wake up with no nightmare, no matter how tough their cases are, or how shitty his life is.

"Good for you," said Will. He ruffled Jay's hair. Jay smiled and closed his eyes. A couple years ago he went back from war wounded. He had no contact with his family. Mouse was the only person in his life. He was worried sick now that Mouse was in Afghanistan, but when Will came back to Chicago, re-entered his life, living 15 minutes away, he felt secure. He looked up and relied on Will a lot when they were younger. He got the sense of security again, that he could rely on Will. He would never be too old for Will to tuck him in.

Jay woke up again at 7. Will was gone, and he heard Will and Nat talking outside. He grabbed his phone and scrolled through his emails and texts, finding one unread message from Hailey last night, saying she was then available to call. He realised he needed to talk to Hailey. However, it could wait until after the burial.

"Hey, sleepy head," said Will when Jay went out of Owen's room. "You know, you could have tried to look more excited to see us. Owen usually ran, with cute face may I add," teased Will.

"Yeah, not gonna happen," Jay laughed. He sat on the kitchen counter.

"Pancake?" asked Will. Jay nodded.

"What time are we leaving again?" asked Jay.

"The burial's at 12. We'll go to the funeral house at 11, then go to the cemetery. You need to pick up your suit, don't you?"

"Yeah," said Jay. He ate his pancakes in silence.

* * *

Hailey smoothed her dress and approached the small group on the cemetery. She could see Natalie, Will, and Jay sitting together in the front row. She hesitated. Sure she was hurt and angry by what Jay said, but she had promised to be there.

She approached from beside Natalie, hesitating. She stood at the back of the group until Natalie somehow looked around and saw her. She smiled. Natalie whispered to Will, and pointed to an empty seat behind Jay. She obliged and sat behind Jay, squeezing Jay's shoulder. Jay turned around and was taken aback seeing her. She smiled sadly. Jay grabbed her hand and wasn't letting go until a few minutes later when they stood up.

Will gave final speech; Jay had firmly declined earlier; and both of them laid roses in the ground. Jay choked back a sob. Will clapped his shoulder and guided him back to his seat when their extended family went to the pit. Will made an eye contact with both Natalie and Hailey before joining his aunt, taking Natalie with him. Hailey moved to sit beside Jay and put her hand lightly on his knee. Neither wanted to break the silence.

"I'm sorry," whispered Jay finally. It dawned on him that he only said "sorry" and "thank you" to Hailey these past few days.

"We'll talk about that later," Hailey said firmly. "How are you doing? Sorry, I was in the middle of something last night."

"I don't feel good," said Jay. Admitting that to her was a step. Last year, he always answered her questions with "I'm fine", however far from fine he was. "Really tired. This funeral drained me," he elaborated. Hailey rubbed his back.

"I should be meeting the guests," said Jay.

"You feel up to it?" asked Hailey concerned seeing his pale face and trembling hands. Jay took a deep breath and nodded. Hailey helped him stand, guided him to where Will was talking with someone.

"Aunt Mabel, thank you for coming," said Jay.

"If there's anything you boys need, let us know," said Aunt Mabel. Jay and Will both muttered thank you, shook some more guests, then once the guests were leaving, Will clapped Jay on the shoulder.

"Let's go," said Will. Natalie and Hailey followed behind. "You guys wanna have lunch together?" asked Will.

"Yeah. Ask Hailey," replied Jay. Hailey agreed. However, they all decided that they don't want to eat out, so they would order from a Thai Restaurant and go to Natalie's place. Jay followed Hailey to her car. He didn't bring his car and rode with Will and Nat previously. He sighed when they hopped in the car. Undoing his tie and first button, he leaned back and closed his eyes. Hailey eyed him with concern.

"You okay?" Hailey touched his shoulder. Jay nodded. Even with his eyes closed, he could feel Hailey's sceptical look.

"Just exhausted. I'm really tired," mumbled Jay. Hailey passed him a water bottle.

"Drink," Hailey ordered. Jay obliged. He felt really drained after the burial, to be honest he didn't have the energy to do anything. However, he needed to talk to Hailey, and they just buried his father therefore he wanted to be around Will. Will seemed to be taking it just fine. The only time Jay saw his remorse was after Jay got shot. Well, Will has Natalie, maybe she was his punching bag. Or maybe Will didn't need a punching bag, because not everyone is an asshole like him.

"Just rest for a while, alright? We'll go to Natalie's place." Hailey drove to Natalie's place slowly, giving Jay more time to snooze. Jay was fast asleep. When they arrived, Hailey shook his arm. "Wake up, Jay." Hailey was a bit cautious of a PTSD attack, but Jay just yawned and rubbed his eyes. He was grateful for the alone time with Hailey since they needed to talk.

"Listen, Hailey," he started. "I don't know how I should apologise. I think the only thing I constantly do is pushing you, no, everyone away. I didn't trust easily, and I still don't. History confirmed why I shouldn't. It isn't that I don't believe you. I do. You're one of the people I trust the most, even more than Voight. You are trustworthy, and you have done nothing to prove otherwise," he gave a speech.

"But?" Hailey asked. There's always a 'but'. The 'but' that hurt her, the 'but' that made her re-evaluate her decision to stand by Jay while throwing punches at Antonio's boxing gym. She was afraid that if she talked to him last night, she might snap. As much as she knew how sorry Jay was, at least one of them had to be in the right place emotionally for that conversation to take place.

"But… I have my trust broken before, Hailey. It happened so many times I lost count. With many others…CIs, classmates, Army buddies, I don't really mind. But Mouse, and Erin… I never expected them to. So I learned to keep my guard up, and to rely on no one's words," said Jay sadly. He realised how awful that sounded. He wanted to blurt out to her, that he trusts her with anything. That he knew she wouldn't let him down. But they died at the tip of her tongue. He looked at her sadly, and shook his head.

"Okay," said Hailey.

"What's okay?" asked Jay.

"I was wondering what I did wrong to make you think that. But if the issue is on you, not me, than you have to work to make it right," Hailey declared. "I'm not working with someone who doesn't trust me, Jay. You jumped to conclusion yesterday. That implied you didn't trust me."

"I know, and I'm really sorry. I saw red. It happened before, Hailey. I should've known better this time. You don't deserve me," Jay bowed his head in defeat. Hailey had tears in her eyes. On top of the whole situation, her heart broke for her partner for the umpteenth time that week. She didn't realise throughout their partnership that Jay had his own reason for keeping her at arm's length. He was afraid she would betray him.

"Will told me that by saying that, I'm pushing people away, including you. And he's right. I don't want to push you away. I'm gonna go to therapy again. I want to start trusting people. I don't want you, or anyone else, to feel that I doubt them. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"That's good, Jay. It would be helpful. I want you to see that you can trust people. That not everyone is gonna let you down," said Hailey. "And, please think higher of yourself. It's almost you want to believe that people will always let you down because you don't deserve them. You deserve all loyal people in your life, because you are one of the most loyal person I know."

"I'll try. Thank you, partner. I owe you so much," Jay pulled Hailey in a tight hug. Her thigh grazed the hand brake and her shoulder hurt from being in awkward angle, but she reciprocated the hug. She was glad to see him determined to change how he sees the world. Now her part is to show him that he can let people in and trust them. Jay felt Hailey choked back a sob, and rubbed her back.

"Sorry you got dragged into my family events. Let me take you out to dinner next week. I want to thank you properly, I don't think I could go through this week without you," said Jay.

"I can't. Aunt Hailey duty next week, you have to battle little Angie for that," Hailey laughed. "Let me tell you, she's very strong."

"Alright alright, what can I say? Of course Angie can have her own time with Aunt Hailey," Jay chuckled and opened the door. Finally, she thought. Will and Nat would be finished eating by the time they arrived.

"Not own time. When my other sister-in-law knew that Angie's staying over, she jumped at the chance of getting free babysitter. So Aunt Hailey has three little girls to babysit next week," Hailey rolled her eyes, but smiling excitedly thinking about her nieces. "What about this? When you finish your therapy, we'll go get dinner."

"Deal," said Jay.

"Tell me if you need anything? Even if you only need someone to talk to after a nightmare?" Hailey flashed a smile and looked at him from the corner of her eyes.

"Yeah," Jay agreed. For the first time that week, he felt certainty. He was lost, not only from being orphaned but also dealing with his own demons. He still had nightmares, still unsure how he would beat them, but he was optimistic. He has good support system in Will and Hailey, and he is determined to get healed. Soon, he won't only be able to avoid the triggers of PTSD, but the triggers won't bother him anymore.

* * *

_Didn't realise last chapter was angsty as I tried to insert jokes between the team to lighten the chapter. And as weird as this sounds I do miss the fights between them in the show, they used to be so good at disagreeing. _

_Shall we jump a week and meet Angie? Or jump into a new case? I have few alternatives...trying to gather idea from the show (H-7 until the show is back!) and fanfics (looking forward to read new updates!). _


	8. Chapter 8

"Finally!" Natalie exclaimed. "Will was that close to eating your Drunken Noodle," she pointed out to Jay.

"Yeah, sorry. Got held back," excused Hailey. Will and Natalie wisely didn't comment further; they noticed Hailey's red-rimmed eyes and they relaxed behaviour. They realised that Jay and Hailey have talked their hearts out and made up.

"Which one, Hailey? Drunken Noodle or Pad Thai?" offered Natalie.

"I'll take Pad Thai, Jay can have the Drunken Noodle," said Hailey, earning a grateful smile from Jay for sparing him his favourite. They ate in silence, occasionally passing spring rolls or chicken cutlets. Neither of them felt like talking about the funeral, nor Will and Jay wanted to talk about cleaning up their father's apartment. They nearly finished eating when Natalie received a call from Owen's babysitter, saying that they were downstairs. Natalie went down to pick Owen up, and once Owen set foot in the apartment, he immediately ran towards Jay.

"Uncle Jay!" he climbed Jay's leg. Jay laughed, picking him up and sat him on his lap.

"Hey, buddy. We haven't finished playing last time, have we?" Jay was glad to see his nephew-to-be. Last time he was there, Owen was very eager to play with him, but he wasn't in the mood since it was shortly after his dad died and he got shot. He was tired, unwell, and an emotional mess; he could barely look at Owen let alone keep up with his energy level. Now, he was happy to keep Owen company.

"Play truck!" Owen tugged at Jay's hand.

"Owen, honey, let Uncle Jay finished eating. He will play with you later. Now go to your room," interrupted Natalie. Hailey used the distraction to steal the last spring roll on Jay's container. Jay glared at her.

"Okay. Uncle Jay, quick!" Owen ran to his room. Will looked at him, amused.

"I don't understand what you did to him. He was never that excited to see me," Will shook his head.

"Nobody's excited to see you, Will," jabbed Jay, eliciting snickers from Natalie and Hailey. In the rare occasions each of them hung out with the brothers, watching them banter was always amusing.

"You are gonna pay for stealing my spring roll, I'm gonna glue your keyboard on Monday," threatened Jay to Hailey who was eating the stolen spring roll.

"Go ahead, for her safety," Will passed the spring roll between him and Natalie to Jay. Jay picked it up and they continued eating.

"See? I'll have you as my partner anytime, Will," joked Hailey.

"Really? He doesn't do running, you're gonna chase bad guys alone while he sit in the car, snacking," mocked Jay. "All at the cost of a spring roll."

"You won't do well either in the ER, man. You'll be yelling at them because you're impatient and, put it simply, a jerk. Ms. Goodwin would have a field day with you," Will retorted. Nat laughed. "What?" Will turned at his fiancée.

"Oh, nothing. Remind me again who yelled at the patient's mom last week?" Nat giggled. Will turned bright red.

"That's her fault!" countered Will. "Changing the subject purposely; how's the bruise, Hailey?"

"It's getting better. Shoulder's healing too. It's just the bruise is so nasty I don't really want to be seen in public," said Hailey. "Yesterday I bought lunch along with Voight. Was sure at least five people looked at him with disgust as if he was my abusive husband—or father," she snickered remembering yesterday's hilariously awkward occasion.

"Really?" Jay burst out laughing. He cannot imagine his boss being in that awkward situation.

"Yeah. He just rolled his eyes and said, 'I took the bullet for Halstead'," Hailey laughed. Will and Natalie laughed, too, the former with relief to see the partnership had resolved tension. As soon as Jay was done, he went to Owen's room. The rest of them continued eating and packed up the containers after they were done. Natalie started the coffee machine. They all frowned and laughed when they heard Jay and Owen both imitated sound of vehicles and shrieked loudly, followed by roaring laughter.

"It looks like they are both 3 years old," commented Hailey.

"Yeah. Wish he was a 3 years old," muttered Will. "Owen reminds me of little Jay a lot. Stubborn, can't sit still, cheeky. I wish Owen won't see the world the way Jay did, though…" He sighed. "By the way, you made up already, haven't you?"

"Yeah, we have," said Hailey embarrassed. "You know?"

Will peeked into the hallway which leads to Owen's room. "He stayed here last night. He was upset, regretting what he said to you," Will lower his voice. Natalie put a coffee cup each in front of Hailey and Will, and took hers to her room, knowing Will would like to talk to Hailey.

"In my defence, I was offended. He thought I sweet-talked him and asked Voight to change partner. I would never do that. I yelled at him, not talked behind his back," Hailey was a bit defensive, though she felt guilty to upset Jay further. She was supposed to have his back, not weigh him down. They heard laughter coming from down the hallway.

"That's good, he hasn't been able to relax since the fire," smiled Will. "He hasn't been able to sleep well, nightmare and everything. I'm concerned," Will frowned. Hailey contemplated how much should she disclose. Eventually, she decided that Will should know everything if their common goal is Jay's wellbeing.

"I know. Two nights ago he crashed at my couch. The previous night I didn't hear from him in the morning, so I went to his place and woke him up from nightmare. I haven't seen a lot of him at work, though, so I don't know how he functioned," sighed Hailey.

"He doesn't trust anyone in. I'm partly to blame for that, I didn't pay attention when he slipped away," said Will. "We were close as kids, he always told me everything. The war changed him, though. I was partially to blame that he thinks so low of himself. He needed help, and I wasn't there. I didn't know about his PTSD, or nightmare, until after Erin left." He lowered his voice and peeked to the hallway. "I knew about it accidentally, of course. He didn't tell me. I'm glad that he trusts you, though. He hasn't let his guard down to anyone. Even with me, after I came back to Chicago, we're still not at 100%," Will shook his head regretfully.

"I'm sorry for telling you this, but he was worried that you would leave him again," Hailey said tentatively, worried that Will would be upset.

"I know. And I'll always regret it, that I wasn't there for him. It was rough, I know, for him, to go through it all alone. He always depended on me as a kid. As an adult, when he needed me, I wasn't there. I tried to be there for him now. However, he might need you more. I was relieved to know that he depends on you. You must be one hell of a partner to stay with him through all the drama, despite him being rude at times," concluded Will. He took a jar of cookies from the kitchen counter and opened it.

"My biggest regret was not being friends with my former partner, and he turned up to be an alcoholic and had suicidal tendency. I knew about it when he collapsed and got his stomach pumped. I wondered how could I spend so much time together and didn't realise something was wrong. Or maybe something was wrong, but I ignored all the signs. Since then I wanted to be there for my partner. That's why I always act first, ask later. With Jay too, I try to help him when he needs me. Whether he explained it is another story," Hailey explained. "He told you he's going to start therapy?"

"Yeah. Hopefully everything turns out well."

"By the way, how are you holding up? With everything?" asked Hailey.

"As well as can be expected. Except when the fool decided to get shot, I'm doing okay," said Will. "Thank you, really, I appreciate that you're always there for him. I cannot imagine him getting through this without your help."

"It's nothing. I'm glad to be of help," Hailey flashed her dimple. They sat in silence, sipping their coffees. The voice from the hallway had died down.

"I plan on taking him to clear our dad's apartment next week. I'll let you know how he holds up then," said Will. Hailey nodded.

"Hey, guys," Natalie emerged from the hallway. "Come here," she whispered giddily. They all followed Natalie to Owen's room.

"Awww," Hailey gushed. Will took out his phone to snap a picture of a sleeping Jay and Owen. Jay was spread on Owen's bed, face up, while Owen napped on top of him, face buried in his chest.

"Should we leave them?" asked Will.

"Owen needs his afternoon snack, I'm gonna pick him up," said Natalie.

"Be careful, Nat. Jay bites," joked Will, half serious referring to Jay's PTSD. Natalie picked Owen up quickly and held him.

"Owen, honey, wake up," whispered Natalie, taking his son outside the room.

"Does Jay need a ride home?" asked Hailey to Will.

"He came here straight from the office yesterday, so I don't think so," said Will.

"I'll get going then," Hailey went to the living room. "Natalie, I'm going home," she announced.

"Alright, thanks Hailey. Owen, say bye-bye to Aunt Hailey?" Natalie ordered, to which Owen obliged and even gave Hailey a hug.

"I'll see you guys around," said Hailey.

"Thank you, I'll let him know you're gone," Will smiled.

"Thanks, see you later Will," Hailey smiled back, then she went home.

* * *

Will sat on the side of the bed and patted Jay's shoulder.

"Jay, wake up," he said softly. Jay opened his eyes slowly.

"Hey," croaked Jay. He sat up and looked at his watch. "What time is this?"

"Around 5," answered Will. Jay yawned. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up, but it's been hours."

"Where's Owen?" Jay looked around.

"Nat's taking him to her friends' gender reveal party, whatever that is. Between you and him, I don't know who the toddler is," Will smirked.

"Yeah, right. I do wish I was three, though. Having everything done for me would be nice."

"Duh, Jay. You had everything done until your teens! I even did your homework!" They both laughed. Will was the studious one; he wanted to do more homework after he did his. Jay of course was happy to let Will did his. It wasn't that he was a bad student; he could do it by himself. It was just he felt like he did a favour by letting Will did all the science homework and projects.

"Where's Hailey?" asked Jay.

"She went home earlier," answered Will. "I see that you've made up."

"Yeah, it was exactly like her to come anyway despite everything. I asked her to keep me company earlier, was afraid I would be overwhelmed. You know, I attended many funerals of my Army buddies; I was worried I would get flashback. I didn't tell her that though. I was going to go to her place afterward otherwise," Jay sighed. Of course, Hailey made the first move for them to make up. Before, he would feel that he needed to step up and did his part as a partner. However, he remembered what Hailey just said: he deserved loyal people in his life. He sighed.

"As I said, she's one hell of a partner. Alright, what do you want for dinner? Figured while we're both off we could grab a bite," said Will. Jay didn't really feel like hanging out, however with everything that happened, and the fact that he would be seeing the therapist soon on his free time, he could use some bonding time with Will.

"Anything. You pick," Jay shrugged.

"We don't have to go if you don't want to," Will sensed his lack of enthusiasm.

"No, I want to. I mean, I'm gonna start therapy soon on my off time, so better enjoy the free time while we have it," said Jay. "Your pick, cause you're paying."

"Hey, I need to start saving for my wedding," Will rolled his eyes. They both went to the car. Jay thought about how sucks life was for him the last few weeks. Less than a month ago he mourned the loss of Al, which shook him to the core. The team had just finished mandatory therapy sessions for losing a team member, and now here he was. He lost his dad who was, as Will phrased it, living on borrowed time. Still, he wondered for the thousandth time if there was anything he could've done differently. If only his dad's surgery was pushed back a month; if only it was his check-up schedule; if only he took his dad out for something, if only he didn't push his dad to move to that apartment… he shuddered as the demons haunted him.

"You okay?" asked Will, noticing him drifting away.

"I'll be. Yeah. Thanks. Guess I'll be paying," Jay smiled.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Will asked, pretending to be cautious.

"I owe you and Hailey at least a nice dinner, a 'Saving Jay' dinner. I couldn't go through this week without both of you."

"Save it for her. I do it because you're my brother, and I love you," said Will. Jay patted him in the shoulder. "Do something for me though. Get a good sleep before you go back to work on Monday. You look horrible."

"As if you ever look good," quipped Jay, laughing.

* * *

_About Aunt Hailey, it will have to wait, because I think I'll write about a case first, about how they ease back into routine, and maybe we'll get an injury on the team. __I cannot wait for the new episode tomorrow. _


	9. Chapter 9

On Monday, Hailey hopped up the stairs to Intelligence to find Voight just came out of his office. She spent the whole weekend in her place, did all chores she could and watched a lot of Netflix. She didn't feel like being asked or stared at in public with all the bruises, so she was eager to go to work to escape her place.

"Body, seems connected to last case. Was found an hour ago in a motel," Voight announced.

"Killer was nice enough to spare us the weekend," joked Adam.

"Let's go. Tell Halstead, Atwater, and Burgess to meet us at the scene," said Voight. Hailey followed Adam to his car, and hitched a ride while sending Jay the address of the motel. By the time they arrived, Kim and Kevin were already there, talking to security guard.

"Early bird gets the worm," commented Adam, whistling when meeting them.

"Or in this case, the body," Kevin retorted. "There's a security cam on the stairs, but nothing in the hallway."

"I'll see if we can get footage from intersection camera, long shot, but who knows," said Hailey, pointing at a camera at the far end of the parking lot. Jay jogged up to them. Hailey nodded to him, acknowledging his arrival. Kim, however, caught Jay's eyes and silently asking 'have-you-made-up?' Jay smiled, nodded. Kevin guided them to the body which was covered in plastic sheet.

"Dead body is Maria Sanchez, 17, cocaine bag burst in her stomach," Kevin explained while Jay joined them. Hailey squatted to peek under the sheet that was covering the body. The victim's stomach contents were half outside her body.

"And the killer still tried to get their item," Hailey cringed. It always pained her to see a young lady died so tragically.

"Halstead, Upton, canvass the area, talk to witnesses. Burgess, you and Atwater find her family, talk to them. We'll be in the district going through the file and talking to CIs," instructed Voight. "Upton," he growled, making Hailey and Jay stopped walking.

"Yes Sarge?" asked Hailey.

"How's your shoulder?" asked Voight.

"It's healing, no more pain," answered Hailey.

"Alright. You, watch her. No slamming on hoods, no door breaking," Voight pointed to Jay.

"Copy that," nodded Jay. They talked to the witnesses and looked for cameras before concluding the search and headed back to the district. As soon as they went into the car, Jay pointed to a coffee cup and a paper bag on the dashboard.

"Muffin and coffee," he said. Hailey's eyes lit up.

"Blueberry?" asked her as she opened the paper bag. "You don't have to, Jay," she said out of courtesy, but her face said otherwise. Jay rolled his eyes.

"Just eat," he laughed at her excitement. One thing he picked up over their time being partners was that Hailey rarely eats breakfast, but always lights up when someone brings her breakfast, mostly him. Blueberry muffin, cinnamon bagel, glazed doughnut, and her all-time favourite, loukoumades. Black coffee, no sugar. Jay remembers her favourites since Hailey is very diligent with paperwork, most of the times she does Jay's as well. Every time Jay owed her a paperwork, she would find something on her desk in the morning, to the point Antonio teased her for being a cheapskate and said that she should charge more expensive rates. When Antonio said that, Hailey just smiled and devoured her cinnamon bagel with cream cheese. Jay shot him a look and said, "don't provoke her, ask Kim to do yours," to which Kim instantly made a face and shook her head.

"What?" asked Hailey. Apparently Jay wore a smile on his face.

"No, nothing," said Jay. "Just glad everything is over."

* * *

They found the suspect near midnight, and did the bust shortly after in a residential area. Jay, Hailey, and Adam were clearing the kitchen when a suspect chased at them. He slammed into Jay and Hailey, the three of them sprawled on the floor. Hailey was pinned on the bottom, pain spread through her shoulder. Jay rolled off her to grab the suspect.

"Hey, where are you going!?" yelled Adam, grabbing the suspect and pinning him on the floor. He cuffed them and took him out while Antonio and Voight came from the attic with another suspect.

"Upstairs is clear," said Antonio, grabbing the suspect from Adam.

"This floor hasn't been cleared," reported Adam who immediately cleared the floor. Jay noticed Hailey on the floor, holding her shoulder.

"Hey, hey!" Jay helped her sit.

"Don't," Hailey shrugged Jay who was trying to pull her up.

"Upton, what's with no slamming?" reprimanded Voight lightly.

"Say that to the suspect," glared Hailey ineffectively.

"Anything else hurt beside shoulder?" asked Jay, squatting beside Hailey. Hailey didn't answer. "I'm gonna call an ambo," he pulled out his two-way.

"No," Hailey grabbed Jay's arm.

"Halstead, bring her to Med," growled Voight.

"Alright, come on," said Jay. He gently pulled Hailey standing with her good hand. His worry grew when he heard no protest from his stubborn partner. He guided Hailey to his car.

"We'll be there shortly, hang on," convinced Jay when he clipped Hailey's safety belt. He ran to driver's side and slammed on the gas.

"Did you hit your head?" asked Jay.

"I don't know," answered Hailey. Jay felt around her head and cursed when he found a bump on the back of her head. Hailey started to feel the adrenaline lessen and feel the pain in her head. He reached Med in record time, wasted no time as he parked his car in ER Entrance. Maggie was waiting for them in the reception when Jay guided Hailey inside.

"Ruzek called. Come on," she waved to a stretcher.

"I can walk just fine," Hailey insisted.

"She has a bump on her head. Please check for concussion," said Jay, patting Hailey on her back. He ran back to the lobby and parked his car. When he jogged back to the ER, Maggie pointed him to Treatment Room 2. Will was just about to enter the room.

"You know, you two should stop popping in like we offer premium membership card," quipped Will, then muttering thank you to the nurse who already checked on Hailey. "Hi, Hailey. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked. Jay sat in the corner, smirking. Will had not seen Hailey in her worst mood.

"Normal day in the office," said Hailey.

"If this is your normal, then I'll start offering the membership card just like coffee shop across the street," Will looked at Jay, asking for clue.

"A suspect slammed into us, took us down. She fell on her shoulder. And I think she hit her head on something, there's a bump on the back," Jay explained.

"Alright, I'll check for concussion. Tell me your name?" Will inquired.

"Hailey Upton."

"You know where you are?"

"Chicago Med."

"You know who I am?"

"The better Halstead," Hailey joked.

"Yep, you got memory loss," retorted Jay. Will laughed.

"Follow my finger with your eyes," instructed Will, moving his finger in front of Hailey's face. Will checked her pupils, and felt the back of her head. Hailey flinched when Will touched her shoulder.

"I'll order some CT scan, and also some tests. I'll come back to do your shoulder. Do not sleep," warned Will, locking eyes with Jay. Jay nodded.

"Thanks, Will," said Hailey before Will stepped out of the room. She groaned.

"Can I get you anything?" asked Jay, standing beside the bed and gingerly placed his hand on Hailey's arm.

"No, I'm good," said Hailey.

"Hey, look…" Jay trailed off. He didn't tell Will the whole story. He fell on top of Hailey, adding weight to her shoulder. However, Hailey realised what he wanted to say because he looked guilty.

"No, Jay, it's not your fault. It's the suspect's fault," Hailey cut him off.

"How did you…"

"It's on your face. If you apologise, I'll call Maggie and said that you threatened me," joked Hailey. Jay laughed.

"What's with you and injuries these days," wondered Jay, gingerly moving her hair to see her face and neck clearly. The bruises on her face and neck were still visible, and now shoulder injury and possible concussion. A nurse came in to do some tests, so Jay waited outside. Will walked up to him and handed him a coffee cup.

"What are you not telling me?" Will didn't waste time to question him. Jay started wondering his competency as a detective. He should be a pro at maintaining his emotions and thoughts, yet both Hailey and Will could read him like an open book.

"I crashed on top of her when the suspect ran into us. I fell on her shoulder," sighed Jay. "You don't need to lecture me. She just did."

"Good for you. I always need a helping hand to knock some sense into your head," chuckled Will. "Do you need to be checked?"

"No, I didn't hit anything, she cushioned my fall," said Jay.

The nurse from Hailey's room came and passed a tablet to Will. Will read it, motioning Jay towards the room. "Stay with her. Don't let her sleep." Jay went inside.

"You wanna drink?" asked Will.

"Unless it has alcohol, no," said Hailey. Jay and Will snickered. "No, I don't feel good. Shouldn't take the risk."

"Hang in there," Jay touched her hand. She seemed very pale.

"So, you have a mildly sprained shoulder. The one you got last week was a very mild one, it barely categorised as a sprain, it was just bruised. This is a real sprain, you shouldn't do anything with your arm at least three days. Should I put your arm in a cast to make sure you don't use it?" asked Will.

"That won't be necessary," said Hailey.

"I'm gonna tape it to help it stay in place though. No use of your arm at all for three days. After that, don't put too much weight on it. If that's heavier than your firearm, than it doesn't qualify. At least a week, and we'll see it from there," ordered Will.

"Can I lift a three-year old?" asked Hailey, not even hoping to hear a yes.

"Is he or she lighter than your firearm?" challenged Will. Hailey rolled her eyes.

"I'm babysitting my nieces this week," Hailey pleaded.

"If, and I say if, you take care of your shoulder, which means you ice it until the swelling subside, you can use your arm to lift a diaper bag at the end of the week. But not to lift your niece with this hand," said Will.

"Alright," Hailey shrugged.

"What I'm more concerned about is your concussion, though. I won't say it's bad, you still remember I'm the better Halstead after all. But either I need you to stay overnight for observation, or you have someone to stay with you tonight. You need to be woken up once an hour and monitored for symptoms," Will explained. "And since it's 2 am, I mean until noon."

"I'll stay with her," said Jay.

"Okay. Can you sit up straight so I can tape your shoulder?" asked Will.

"I cannot move, my head is killing me," Hailey cringed, the concussion is already making itself known.

"Okay, just sit still," Will moved to her side and slowly pushed her bed up. "Jay, hold her still. I'm gonna tape your shoulder. You want a pink tape?"

"Put pink and I'll shoot you," Hailey glared at Will, who snickered.

"See, you'll kill him in less than a day," Jay chimed in while helping Hailey straighten her back. He checked his phone. "We got the day off. I guess I'm playing nurse after all."

"You don't have to, I can stay here," said Hailey tiredly. The thought of sleeping right there and then was tempting to her as she was drained.

"Nope, I don't intend to sleep on the chair," Jay insisted, sending the memo that he wasn't going anywhere. He sat on the bed and let Hailey rest her head on his shoulder when Will pulled her shoulder in place and taped it. She nearly fell asleep in that position as she was very tired. When Will was done, he tapped her shoulder. Jay slowly helped her to lean on the bed.

"Done. I'll give you some painkiller, take one every three hours. No alcohol, and don't sleep more than an hour at a time. Jay, wake her up every hour. Give ice on your shoulder, the swelling should reduce soon. Prop it up when you sleep, don't move it. I'll give you sling to be worn if you're feeling fancy," said Will.

"Not gonna happen," countered Hailey.

"It helps with recovery. You might be able to use your arm earlier than expected if you put it in a sling," Will baited Hailey.

"Alright," Hailey agreed. Will grinned, then went outside to take some meds and instruction sheet. Jay helped Hailey lie down.

"You feeling better?" asked Jay.

"A little bit," whispered Hailey.

"Here is your meds, complete with instruction and what to do for concussions. Mostly for Jay, though," said Will. "If she worsens, call me immediately. Or bring her in."

"Got it," nodded Jay. "So, she's good to go?"

"Yeah. Come back in three days," said Will, putting the sling on Hailey's arm. Both helped Hailey stood up and walked to the ER door as she turned down the wheelchair offer very quickly. Will stayed with her while Jay pulled his car to the lobby. When she sat in the passenger's seat, she was almost asleep.

"Hey, wake up," Jay shook Hailey's good arm when they arrived at her place. Hailey yawned. She cringed and held her head. Jay quickly went out of his door and went around the car, opening the door and helped Hailey got out. He guided her to the door and let her opened the lock.

"Alright, you want to freshen up before going to bed? Remember, I'll wake you up every hour, don't shoot me," joked Jay. Hailey just nodded and disappeared inside her bedroom. Jay decided to find something in her freezer to ice her shoulder. He knocked on her bedroom door after 10 minutes.

"You alright in there?"

"Yes. It's hard to change clothes without really moving my arm, you know," said Hailey, letting Jay inside when she was done. Jay looked around. The bedroom was nice, with a dresser and two paintings on the wall. He lifted the blanket, motioning for Hailey to lie down.

"Really? You're gonna tuck me in?" Hailey asked in disbelief, but decided to humour him and sat on her bed.

"It is written here that your head has to be higher than your body, and your arm has to be propped up," Jay carefully lifted Hailey's arm and put a pillow underneath. "I'm gonna ice your shoulder every now and then, hopefully it won't disturb you too much."

"I'm a heavy sleeper, even without the concussion. You need rest too, Jay," Hailey's concern was visible.

"I'm good. I'll wake you up every hour to ask questions, though," Jay tucked Hailey in her blanket. He went for a minute and came back with a bag of frozen corn, which he put on her shoulder. "Just call if you need anything, I'll be outside."

"Thanks, Jay. For everything," Hailey smiled, and sighed before closing her eyes. Her breathe started to even out. Jay cannot help but feeling envy at how easy she drifted away to sleep. He sat on her bedside, holding the frozen corn for about 10 minutes until the corn started to thaw. Then he went back to the kitchen and threw the corn at the freezer. He found an icepack to be used later, then went to sleep. It was almost 3 am, and he was tired as hell.

An hour later, Jay shook Hailey's arm to wake her up.

"Sorry, Hailey. Concussion check. What's your boss' name?"

"Hank Voight," said Hailey. "And why bring him up?"

"In what unit do we work?"

"21st."

"Nope."

"Sorry. Intelligence."

"What's your radio call?"

"5021 Henry."

"Okay, go back to sleep," Jay put an icepack on her shoulder. She drifted back to sleep. Jay too, after taking the icepack off and putting it back to the freezer. That happened every hour until morning, sometimes with a painkiller and a glass of water. When Hailey woke up before 9, feeling a little bit light-headed, she went to the kitchen to grab something to drink. She saw Jay sleeping on the couch. She grabbed his phone, carefully pressing his thumb on the fingerprint scanner, and opened the alarm app. There was an alarm every hour, no doubt for waking her up and check on the concussion. She turned off the alarms and fixed Jay's blanket. She opened the fridge to grab something to eat. The blessing in disguise was that the injury happened to her right shoulder, and she is left-handed. She grabbed an apple and sat on the couch, avoiding Jay's legs. Setting the TV with subtitle and no sound, she watched Netflix.

* * *

_I'm at lost about at what point should I conclude this story. Probably I will write until Jay cleared his dad's apartment and meet with the therapist. I don't think I'll do AU (in which Upzek never happened) for the entire season 6, though the idea did pop up! And I'm very curious as to what 6x20 up to season finale will deliver as it will be Upsteadzek-centric. _

_Companion pieces to this story is on my other story "Anytime". Some events here will refer to something that happens there, and so on. I will post about the 'report and bagel' situation on that story later this week. _


	10. Chapter 10

Hailey was nearly asleep when Jay suddenly stirred, whined, and let out a choked scream. His feet bumped into her back. She stood up. He was certainly having nightmare. She wanted to wake him up, but she felt bad because he woke up every hour to check on her concussion. Going around the couch, she carefully put her hand on his shoulder, ready to move back if he fought her. When he didn't jolt awake, she started to rub his shoulder while making shushing sound. Slowly, he calmed down. His breathing evened out and he stopped trashing around, back to being calm. Hailey went to the kitchen. Suddenly Jay started to stir again, whimpered and clutched the pillow; distress was clear in his face, and he was covered in sweat.

Hailey rushed back to his side to hold his shoulder. The stress was still visible on Jay's face, although he looked more relaxed. Hailey soothed him until he stopped moving and his breathe was back to normal, then resumed her venture into the kitchen. She was pouring cold water from the fridge when she heard sound from the living room. She hurried back, bringing the pitcher of water with her.

Should I wake him? Hailey contemplated. She wanted to; she couldn't stand seeing him sleeping in distress. However, she also noticed that he needed sleep more than anything. He had a hard week, with his dad died, getting shot, and his PTSD came back at full force. Not to mention argued with Will and her, although it was resolved. If he couldn't sleep well since his dad was admitted to the hospital, it means it was nearly a week ago. Contrary to what Jay thought, it was easy for her to know when he was sleep deprived, and in the past week, he had been more often sleep deprived than not. That's why, like Will, she was relieved to see him relaxing and sleeping with Owen, because he needed it so much. She also knew that he didn't sleep well during the weekend. And last night he constantly checked on her every hour hence he definitely really need the rest now.

She wasn't sure what to do when his sleep became restless again, so she squeezed herself on the end of the couch, her thigh nearly grazing his head, keeping her hand on his shoulder, rubbing his shoulder to soothe him. She wasn't surprised to see him sweating, she knew he was having nightmare. She kept rubbing his shoulder and making a shushing noise, which seemed to be working as his breathe went back to normal and his sleep became peaceful. She decided to stay there, trying to get as comfortable as possible, and scrolled through her phone with her hand in the sling. Her phone is lighter than her firearm, so she considered it to be safe. As stubborn as she is, she didn't want to compromise her recovery.

Hailey cursed silently when Jay stirred half an hour later. He looked up and saw Hailey sitting beside him, holding him.

"I had nightmare?" asked Jay hoarsely.

"Yeah," answered Hailey. Jay sighed and pushed himself sitting. He buried his head in his hands, upset. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No. Same old thing, dead children in Afghanistan," said Jay.

"I'm sorry." Hailey rubbed his back with sympathy.

"What time is it?" Jay panicked.

"Easy. We have the day off."

"No, you need painkiller," said Jay.

"I had the 9 am already," said Hailey. "My head is getting better, I had painkiller and iced my shoulder earlier. Oh, and it's noon."

"I told you not to touch me when I'm having nightmare. What if I hit you?" scolded Jay.

"You shouldn't wake up with panic attack. You're tired already as it was… you woke up every hour," reasoned Hailey.

"It kept me from having nightmare though," Jay shrugged. "I didn't have nightmare until the last time. My alarms failed me."

"No, I turned them off. Figured you need to rest, you look like a ghost," said Hailey. "What did you do all weekend though? You look like you didn't sleep at all."

"Not really. I tried to sleep, and all that, but… I mean, with all this… If I have nightmare, and wake up in panic, I am more tired when I wake up than when I went to sleep," Jay rubbed his eyes.

"You still get nightmare every time you sleep?" asked Hailey concerned.

"Sometimes. I got a good sleep, but I also got nightmare a couple times. I think… it depends on what I was thinking, or talking about, before I sleep. I don't know. It's tiring. I mean, I'll take nightmare about ghost anytime. To see something I'm trying to forget, over and over again… it's hard," Jay buried his face on his hands, his breathe rapidly increasing. Hailey rubbed Jay's back to guide him breathe normally.

"Alright, don't remember it. Keep it out of your head. Hey, Jay. Open your eyes. You're not there, you're in my place. You're safe, nobody's dying. Come back," Hailey's voice soothed him. He concentrated on her voice and her hand to bring him out of the warzone. Once Jay's breathe went back to normal, Hailey let out breathe she unconsciously had been holding. "That's it. See? You're safe," Hailey waited until she got a nod from Jay, then squeezed his shoulder.

"Thanks. For risking it, staying when I sleep. I don't know many who dared to stay through a panic attack, or PTSD nightmare," Jay said quietly, looking down.

"As I said earlier, I want to help. You didn't have enough rest, and with what you went through, an hour of sleep might be precious," Hailey stated. "And earlier, I noticed that every time I held you, you stopped tossing around. So I stayed," said Hailey. She briefly wondered if she crossed boundaries, but justified her action because she couldn't stand seeing him in that state.

"Yeah, thanks for that," Jay smiled. Hailey smiled back and went to the kitchen, patting his back when passing him.

"What are you doing? You are supposed to rest," Jay stood up.

"I have a sprained shoulder, I'm not incapacitated. I'm just making tea and coffee and getting something to eat," Hailey replied from the kitchen.

"I have meeting with the therapist at 7," announced Jay, following Hailey into the kitchen.

"It's good. It's a step. Go back to sleep, you look like you're about to pass out," said Hailey. "It's okay, I've seen the nightmare. You don't have to worry about it," Hailey looked at him, successfully reading his doubt.

Jay considered. He was supposed to keep an eye on Hailey. But hell, he was really tired. The lack of sleep and yesterday's case already caught up to him. He wanted to sleep at home, feeling uncomfortable to get nightmare in Hailey's place. However, she had seen him getting one, so why was he being hesitant? She could calm him down, even a couple times when she stayed, he didn't get nightmare at all. He would have his first session with the therapist later that night, so it might be best if he came wide awake. From his experience, some sessions drained his energy.

"Here. Eat, and go to sleep," Hailey gave him two bowls from the cabinet, spoons, and milk and cereal box. Jay assembled two bowls of cereal while Hailey made tea and coffee. She passed the tea to Jay, glaring as he pointed to the coffee. They both ate in silence.

"Be careful if you touch me when I have nightmare," Jay reprimanded her. "Please, I can't bear the guilt."

"I will," said Hailey. She ate slowly. Once she finished, she put the dirty bowl in the sink, decided to deal with that later. Jay was ready to take a tumble from the stool. "Back to the couch, sleepy boy," ordered Hailey, taking his empty bowl. Jay dragged his feet to the couch and sipped the tea.

Hailey sat beside him, bringing an ice pack for her shoulder. She changed the movie on Netflix and settled herself on one end of the couch. From the corner of her eye she saw Jay already asleep, head tilted back. She poked his shoulder.

"Lie down," ordered Hailey, pushing Jay so his head fell on the pillow near the armrest. He put his feet on the couch. Hailey sat on his feet's end, leaning back on his feet so his feet were nearly grazing Hailey's back. Jay wanted to warn Hailey not to sit near his feet, he might trash around in his sleep, kicking and punching. But he felt comfortable with the way Hailey put her hand on his knee in a protective way.

* * *

It was 4 pm when Jay stirred awake. He stretched and looked around, looking for his phone. He was pleasantly surprised to see the clock and realised that he had been asleep for a while now without getting nightmare. He peeked to Hailey's bedroom. She was sleeping, head and arm propped up with pillows. He went back to the couch and scrolled through Netflix. His appointment was at 7. He decided to order in pizza for both of them. When the pizza delivery arrived, Hailey walked out of her room.

"Sorry, you must be awake because of the doorbell," said Jay. Hailey put on the sling.

"It's okay, maybe I shouldn't sleep too long with the concussion," said Hailey. She grabbed the pizza and sat beside Jay. "You slept well?"

"Yeah, I did. It was peaceful," Jay smiled.

"Good for you," said Hailey. "What time is your therapy?"

"At 7. How's your head? And shoulder?"

"Head is fine. Shoulder… I'm working on it," Hailey shrugged. Jay realised that Hailey was down about not being able to spend time with her nieces.

"Is this about babysitting?" asked Jay. Hailey looked down. "You can still babysit them, you just don't lift them."

"I'll see what I can do," said Hailey. Jay knew not to push the matter. They ate the pizza in silence.

"Voight said I need clearance to go back to work, and another to go back to field," Hailey read her email, annoyance was clear in her voice.

"Sorry, Hailey. It shouldn't end like this," Jay felt guilty. Just a couple days ago, he was angry because she got hurt when he wasn't around. And now she got hurt right under his nose, literally and figuratively.

"It's not your fault, I blame the perp for this," frowned Hailey. "Both perps."

"Guess what, I'll do your paperwork. You shouldn't look at screen too long with the concussion," said Jay.

"No, I'm good. I need to find something to do eventually at home," Hailey smiled. "Thanks, though. For you, it's big." Jay hated doing paperwork, and usually she picked up the work for him.

"Oh yeah? Contrary to popular opinion, I can do paperwork," Jay smirked, trying to sound displeased. He went to the kitchen and brewed two mugs of tea. He figured it's time for him to return the favour she did him last week. He learned that despite all the coffee they had on the job, she found tea comforting.

"Ah, I thought it's beer," teased Hailey.

"Nope," said Jay. Hailey turned on the TV to a relay of baseball game from last night. She cursed when realised that her favourite team was losing. Meanwhile, Jay was battling sleep again. He laid his head on the armrest and closed his eyes, figured he would catch a little sleep before going to the shrink. Hailey smiled when she realised that he had fallen asleep and turned the TV volume down. Despite being on the mend emotionally, deep down he was not fine.

* * *

"Hey, Jay," Hailey poked his shoulder. "It's 6 something, you need to leave in a bit," she said when Jay stirred awake. He yawned and stretched before sitting up straight.

"How come I don't have nightmare on your couch… but had one every time I sleep on my bed," commented Jay nonchalantly.

"I'll start charging you BnB fee," Hailey laughed. "Or you should try sleeping on the couch at home, maybe you were destined for the couch life."

"Cute," Jay rolled his eyes jokingly. Jay went to the bathroom to freshen up, then sat back on the couch beside Hailey. He felt very familiar with Hailey's couch lately since he slept on it often.

"You feel better after sleeping the whole day?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah, a bit," said Jay. "Hope this session won't be too bad. You know, sometimes memories rushed back…" Hailey nodded understanding.

"Tell me if you need anything?" asked Hailey. "Even if you need someone to talk to, anytime."

"Likewise. You too, if you need to have a beer bottle opened, I'll come, open, and drink it for you," Jay smirked. Hailey laughed. "I'll pick you up after work tomorrow, bring you to Med for a check-up," said Jay. "Thanks for letting me crash."

"Duh, thanks for staying last night," said Hailey. She walked Jay to the door. "You need to get better, Jay. Make peace with everything," she said, pulling Jay in a side hug. She felt proud, like a parent who sent their kid to school the first time. Last week Jay was resistant toward therapy, even mad at Will when he suggested it. Now he voluntarily went to one.

"Soon you'll start charging me therapy cost," quipped Jay, returning the hug gently, avoiding touching Hailey's injured side. "Thank you," he smiled and jogged to his car.

* * *

_A short chapter to carry us through until next episode. Cannot wait for the next episode 6x20. I wanted to incorporate more Will in this story, since I really enjoy their interaction. In my mind, Hailey and Will are casual friends-they sometimes had a drink with Jay at Molly's, or when Hailey went to Med to interview witness, etc. _


	11. Chapter 11

Jay closed the door of his apartment and pulled a beer from the fridge. He needed it, desperately, after the 2-hour therapy session.

They talked about the events this past week. At the beginning, he was a bit hesitant to salt the wound again; he had cried and been hurt enough as the result of his dad's death, and he did not wish to relieve that again. However, he remembered how Will and Hailey rooted for him to go the therapy, so he braced it and told all his stories. He surprised himself with how open he was about his story. He desperately wanted to get better. He didn't want to be tucked to bed every night in order to sleep soundly.

He was drained once he got home. Kicking off his shoes, he grabbed a beer from the fridge and gulped them. As tired as he was, he was not ready to even try to sleep; his demons haunted him dangerously. He wanted nothing more than go to either Will or Hailey's, and crash on their couches, where he knew he would sleep well. However, he knew better. He didn't want to sabotage Will's family time with Natalie and Owen any more than he already did the past week. Will was newly engaged, and he had better things to do than taking care of his adult brother. Hailey was recovering from an injury, she needed to rest. Not to mention there's a boundary between them that he had crossed several times lately, and he intended to keep that boundary in place.

Jay was watching a random NBA game when his phone rang and Will's name flashed on screen.

"Yeah?" Jay answered.

"Hey, just wanted to check on you after therapy. How was it?" asked Will.

"Tiring," Jay huffed. "You miss me or you're worried about me?" he asked. Will laughed.

"A little bit of both. Actually I'm on break, and could use a little distraction from a patient. You haven't slept?" asked Will.

"About to. Tell me about the patient?" inquired Jay. He laid on the couch, listening to Will's ramble about the patient. Sometimes he mumbled or asked questions to signal that he was still awake. Slowly, he drifted to sleep. He had a peaceful sleep that night.

* * *

Hailey was bored to death at home. She did her report, she even attempted to cook with one hand, since she found frozen chopped up veggies and leftover rotisserie chicken in her fridge. Not bad, she thought. She watched 5 episodes of Game of Throne, and was looking at ideas of activity she could do with Angie on Saturday. She already cancelled her other brother's daughters, figured she wouldn't be able to herd three children, aged 3-6, with one hand. But she promised Angie, so she thought she could take her to a park or a mall. She was in the middle of having dinner when she heard the doorbell rang.

"Coming," she walked to the door, knowing it was Jay. He did text her earlier that he would leave the district at 6. After peeking to confirm that it was him, Hailey opened the door.

"Hey," she greeted him. He went inside. "Thank God, I am really bored. Entertain me. Is there a new case?"

"Wow, your enthusiasm is… fascinating," Jay raised his eyebrow. "No new case, we were bored either… doing paperwork and updating CI data."

"Right. Still, better than trapped here. I even cooked because I was bored," complained Hailey.

"You cooked? You shouldn't use your hand, I'm telling Will," Jay went to the stove.

"I cooked with one hand, I didn't even use knife. Tattletale," Hailey glared, but smiled as Jay grabbed a bowl and helped himself to the soup. "Yeah, help yourself."

They sat around the kitchen counter; neither said anything as they finished their dinner. Hailey chuckled when she remembered how detached they were last year, still fresh from Lindsay's departure. Now Jay somehow had made himself comfortable in her place—crashed in her couch, ate her cooking—especially the last week.

"What?"

"No, nothing," Hailey answered quickly. "Just relieved that tomorrow I got to go in, even if I do desk."

"Yeah, and tomorrow you're gonna sulk because we all go to the field," mocked Jay, laughing.

"It's tomorrow's problem. I'm happy just to get out of here," said Hailey, putting her bowl in the sink. Jay put his, and washed both bowls since he figured Hailey couldn't do it with one hand.

"I wanted to call you after therapy session last night, but finished very late and was afraid you were already asleep," said Jay with his back towards Hailey.

"Why did you want to call me? Anything interesting… or to talk about?" asked Hailey.

"Not that interesting. Just… I prefer my last conversation of the day to be about something other than war," Jay admitted. "I ended up talking to Will on the phone, and fell asleep in the middle of conversation."

"Did it help avoiding the nightmare?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah, it helped," Jay admitted.

"Well, if he was on shift, I'm all ears," offered Hailey. "Shall we?" she put on slip-on shoes since she couldn't put on her usual shoes with one hand. Jay helped Hailey put on her jacket. Hailey didn't bother to shrug her injured hand into the jacket, she just slung it on her shoulder. Jay locked the door and gave the key to Hailey. When they arrived to Med, Will whistled.

"Well, if it isn't our platinum members!" he exclaimed. Both Jay and Hailey glared at him. "You wore that all the time, Hailey?" asked Will.

"Yeap. Didn't even use my hand except to hold my phone," said Hailey proudly.

"Okay. Let's see, I'll check your head as well, you should be cleared for desk duty if it came back fully healed," said Will. She picked up the tablet from Maggie and led Hailey to a treatment room. Jay followed behind. After checking Hailey, Will ordered some tests. Jay and him got out of the room.

"You slept well last night?" asked Will concerned.

"Yeah, I even slept in this morning," chuckled Jay.

"Hey, this probably isn't the right time, but… how about we cleared Dad's apartment this weekend? I am off this week," said Will.

"Yeah… yeah. Okay," Jay put on a face.

"We can put it off if you're not ready," said Will.

"We'll never be ready, Will. Okay, I'll see you on Saturday," Jay rubbed his face, and went inside when the nurse who ran the tests exited the room.

"Anything wrong?" asked Hailey, sensing that he was distraught.

"No, just… Will just told me we're cleaning my dad's apartment on Saturday," said Jay.

"Are you ready?" asked Hailey.

"I'll never be ready, do I?" Jay rubbed his face.

"You wanna babysit Angie? I'll take cleaning over babysitting with one hand," Hailey tried to lighten the mood.

"I got an idea. What if I asked Natalie do the cleaning, I can babysit Owen," Jay chuckled. "And then I'll leave Owen at your place, and I can go play basketball."

"Yeah, right. I just cancelled Amber and Jamie, figured I need more than one hand to herd three girls in the park," Hailey rolled her eyes. "Ask Will to postpone if you're not ready. I'm sure he'll understand."

"I'll never be ready, so better do it as soon as possible," shrugged Jay.

"If you need a distraction afterwards, you can babysit Angie while I watch Game of Thrones," joked Hailey.

"I'll probably come," Jay smirked. Will strolled into the room.

"Congratulations, you're cleared for duty. Desk duty," added Will quickly. "I'll redo your shoulder, and you should be good as new. Your shoulder is getting better, but no activity except typing—both on keyboards and phones—is allowed."

"She's babysitting a three year old on Saturday," Jay grinned.

"No lifting at all. Use your other hand. Or you can play robots and trucks all day, like I do with Owen," said Will.

"Lazy ass," mocked Jay.

"Yeah, I'm sure Angie loves those things," said Hailey. Will fixed the taping on her shoulder, and they headed out after thanking Will.

* * *

The rest of the week went by fast for both of them. Hailey was stuck to her desk—true to what Jay said, she sulked every time the others went to chase a clue, or grabbed suspects, even did interrogation. Even though, she was glad she could do something behind the screen. She sent clues and coordinates to the team from the district, and they managed to solve a drug case by weekend. The only thing that irked her was that she relied on others to drive her to and from the district. Most of the time it's Jay, but sometimes Adam or Antonio drives her when Jay had therapy. None of them knew about Jay's therapy sessions since it wasn't mandatory; though Jay was sure that nothing went past Voight and Platt's nose.

Jay went to therapy on Thursday and Friday. On Friday, he was forced to recount an ambush in Afghanistan when children hostages were killed; and two of his Army buddies too. It was the scene that appeared in his nightmares, but when he verbalised each scenes, he couldn't hold himself together and went full on crying in the therapist' couch. That ambush was his turning point; it was then that he decided that it wasn't worth the sacrifice anymore. It was when Mouse and he decided to leave the Army. That was what Mouse had decided to run back towards. Jay shuddered every time he thought of Mouse, and thanked all the lucky stars that he hadn't get the dreaded phone call, since he was Mouse's next of kin in Army papers.

Jay called Will the moment he entered his car. Will didn't pick up. Of course, Will had a night shift. Jay went to the hospital. He needed to talk to Will, as averse as he was of asking for help lately.

"Detective Halstead. On duty tonight? We're slammed," said Maggie.

"No, I'm looking for Will," Jay said, avoiding a stretcher being rolled through the ER. Maggie barked orders, before turning her attention back to him.

"He's in Baghdad, car crash victims. Not a good time, he lost two patients on morning shift. Check on him after shift, will you? He could use it," Maggie pointed Jay to the room. Jay peeked from the outside. Will was trying to stabilise a patient, he was in the middle of CPR. Jay could see fatigue and stress in his brother's face; and he found himself sighing in relief when the patient started breathing on his own. Will was still busy assessing injuries, though, so Jay slipped outside. He didn't need to burden Will further.

Jay went on autopilot to Hailey's place. They hadn't talked a lot lately, since she was mostly chained to the district, and Jay sometimes got paired up with either Voight or Adam. Hailey did offer to help him release the after-therapy stress if Will wasn't available, though, so Jay intended to make use of the offer.

When Jay arrived at Hailey's place, it was a little bit over 10. She answered the door after he's been knocking for several minutes. She looked apologetic.

"Hey, Jay. You alright?" asked Hailey concerned, quickly sensing that Jay was distraught.

"No, not really. I was hoping for some distraction… you know, tough session," said Jay.

"Come in. Give me a minute or two," she quickly disappeared inside her room, leaving Jay to sit on the couch. When she came out of the room, she closed the door softly.

"Sorry, just put Angie to bed," Hailey smiled sheepishly.

"Oh, she's here? I thought you will babysit tomorrow?" asked Jay.

"Nope. She got dropped here by my parents earlier. Angie's parents—my brother and his wife—went to North Carolina for a wedding. And my parents—quote on quote, had opera tickets for tonight—so they dropped her off en route to the theatre. Tell me, why did I become a cop and don't have time for opera?" Hailey sat beside Jay.

"You like opera?" Jay frowned.

"No, hypothetically, Jay. I could be a kindergarten teacher and had fun in my job instead of seeing dead bodies and prick on drugs everyday," Hailey rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, right," Jay mocked playfully. He didn't doubt it, though; she is patient and has a caring nature.

"What? Help yourself to the beer."

"No, I'm good," said Jay. "I had therapy earlier. Need to get settled a bit after the emotional turmoil. Went to Med earlier, but Will was slammed." Hailey nodded in understanding. He looked better since the last time he took her to Med. She made a point to check on him every day, promising herself that whenever she thought he lacked of sleep to the point of not being able to work, she would confront him. As far as she observed, he was getting better.

"You guys have a plan tomorrow though?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah, clearing my dad's apartment. We'll do it tomorrow evening," said Jay. "He had to stay with Owen, Natalie had a day shift."

"Make sense. Will want to babysit an extra toddler tomorrow?" joked Hailey.

"I'll ask him. What plan do you have with Angie tomorrow, though?" asked Jay.

"I'm gonna take her to the park. Not Millenium Park, though, it's too large and dangerous since I only have one hand," said Hailey. "She wanted to make pancake in the morning, and we'll go right after that."

"She sounds like a sweet girl," commented Jay.

"You have no idea. She's the best. That's why I am confident to babysit with one hand. Look what she gave me—she drew this in my parents' house," Hailey beamed and passed a picture to Jay. Hand-drawn by Angie, it showed a big blonde girl and a small blonde haired girl by each other.

"Sweet," smiled Jay. "Your life seemed normal if you're being an aunt."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Hailey. "I get it, though… with the intensity of our jobs, it seemed like we don't have time for anything else outside work. However, my nieces are part of what kept me grounded. At the end of a lousy day, when I needed a quick pick-me-up, I would go to their houses and play for 10 minutes with them, and suddenly everything is well."

"I did that with Owen sometimes. Hey, let me drive you to the park tomorrow," offered Jay. "You still can't drive, and it's the least I can do after you helped me with everything."

"Alright, Angie could use some company. She was a bit disappointed when I told her I can't lift her or play run with her," said Hailey. She briefly wondered about letting Jay meet Angie. Usually she likes to keep her personal life private. However, he is good with kids, take Owen for example. He could provide an extra hand tomorrow, one she didn't have at the moment.

"How's your shoulder?" asked Jay.

"Will get it checked on Monday," said Hailey. "I'm bored in the office, though."

"The last two times you went to the field, you got hurt. I'm gonna chain you to the car next time," said Jay. Hailey's bruises were mostly gone, except the one on her cheek where she got punched. The one Jay couldn't bear to look at was the one on her neck, though. The offender's hand print was very clear, he felt very uncomfortable to look at it.

"I'm fine, Jay," Hailey convinced him. "It's part of the job. I went through worse earlier, hell, once I had to pretend I was dead, with fake blood capsule in my mouth and such."

"Really?" asked Jay.

"Yeah, it wasn't fun. Especially that I took a real bullet to the vest," Hailey smiled.

"Yeah, it hurts like hell," Jay subconsciously grabbed his chest, where he took a bullet last week. Hailey cringed. Suddenly she got the flashback of him on the ground, looking dead. She shrugged the thought and went to her alcohol cabinet, pulling out a bottle of tequila and poured herself a shot. Jay looked at her questioningly.

"No, it's nothing," Hailey went back to the couch. Suddenly the door of her bedroom opened, and a little girl with blonde curls and blue eyes peeked outside.

"Aunt Hailey," called Angie. She went to Hailey and buried her face in Hailey's lap.

"Yes, Angie?" asked Hailey.

"I want to sleep with you," whined Angie. Hailey smiled. She tried to pick Angie up with one hand, to no success. Jay understood, and picked her up, placing her on Hailey's lap. Angie immediately cuddled to Hailey.

"Okay, let's sleep," Hailey embraced her with her good hand. Angie fell asleep on her lap. Jay smiled seeing Hailey played with Angie's curls. He could imagine Hailey as a little girl, with blonde hair and blue eyes.

"She's cute," commented Jay.

"Oh, she's even more adorable awake," Hailey beamed and kissed Angie's hair.

"I could mistake her for your kid, though. She looked just like you."

"If that's your way of saying I'm cute, thanks. But, yeah, my sister-in-law and I looked more like siblings than my brother and I," said Hailey. "I really need to put her to bed, though." She suddenly realised she couldn't really stand up with one hand carrying a little girl and another hand incapacitated. She turned to Jay asking for help. "It's okay, deep sleep runs in our gene," Hailey whispered when Jay hesitated to pick Angie up. Jay couldn't help but to roll his eyes as he gently picked Angie up from Hailey's lap.

"Where should I put her?" asked Jay as Angie latched on to him easily.

"Could you carry her to my room? I can't put her to bed with one hand if she's asleep," said Hailey. Jay followed her to her bedroom and settled Angie on the bed. Hailey kissed Angie's head and tucked her in.

"I'll walk myself out. Thank you for the drink…and your time. I'll see you tomorrow," said Jay.

"Anytime. Tell me if you need anything," said Hailey. She could see hesitation in Jay's eyes, so she initiated the hug. She could feel Jay relaxed as he let out a deep breath in her embrace. "Take everything one day at a time, Jay. Everything will be okay at the end," she whispered.

"Thanks. Yeah… I know," Jay nodded against her shoulder, then exited the bedroom and left, locking the door behind him.

* * *

_I just watched 6x20 and 6x21 as I was out of town previously. Cannot wait for season finale as well as new fanfics about them! _


	12. Chapter 12

At 6 am, Jay waited for Will in his car. Will's shift ended at 6, he should be out in a bit. When it reached 6.30 and Will is still nowhere to be seen, Jay went to the ER. Will was sleeping in the break room, his face was pale. Jay touched his shoulder.

"What?" asked Will.

"You alright?" asked Jay. Will closed his eyes, squinting at the light.

"Why are you here?" asked Will.

"I came to see you last night. Maggie said you had a rough day. You okay?"

"Yeah… I'll be," said Will. "Sorry Jay, not in the mood for talking."

"You want me to drive you home?" asked Jay. Will nodded. Jay was worried. Will usually put on brave face in front of him. For Will to show vulnerability in front of him was something to worry upon. He pulled Will up and guided him to the parking area by holding him on the shoulder. After helping Will into the passenger seat, he drove to Will's place. Will fell asleep instantly, didn't even respond when Jay accidentally drove over a pothole. Jay shook his shoulder.

"Come on, I don't want to see you face plant yourself," Jay opened the door of the passenger's seat and pulled Will out. He realised Will was really out of it when he let Jay slung his arm over Jay's shoulder and half-carried him into the building. Only when they reached his door that Will took out his key from his pocket and opened the door.

"Where is Owen?" asked Jay.

"Babysitter," said Will.

"You need anything?" asked Jay. Will shook his head, heading inside his bedroom. Jay put a glass of water on his bedside table anyway, and waited until he came out of the bathroom. Will cringed and shielded his eyes from the light coming from the window.

"Can you close the curtain?" asked Will. Jay did so immediately, recognising sign of migraine.

"Go lie down. I'll bring wet towel," Jay guided Will to lie on the bed and fixed his blanket. He went to grab a wet towel and put it on Will's forehead. He sat on Will's side and massaged his temple and skull. "I don't know you still get migraine," he whispered. Will used to get migraine in high school, so this was a routine for them way back then.

"Only when I'm really tired, and, probably stressed," said Will, sighing when Jay hit a soft spot on his head. "I pronounced five times in two shifts, one was a kid."

"I'm sorry. We can take a raincheck on dad's apartment," offered Jay.

"Yeah. We can do it tomorrow," Will mumbled. Jay went to the kitchen and came back bringing a bottle of Advil. He slipped one in Will's mouth and lifted his head.

"That was Advil. Swallow it," Jay put the glass of water on Will's lips. Will dutifully swallowed, and Jay gently laid him down on the bed.

"Sleep, I'll stay for a bit," said Jay. He kept massaging Will's skull. When Will was asleep, he took the towel, wet it, and put it back on Will's head. Around 9 am, he left after making sure there's food in the fridge. He went to Hailey's place.

* * *

"Aunt Hailey," Hailey woke up to Angie's soft stroke on her cheek. She smiled and hugged her niece.

"You sleep well, Angie?" asked Hailey, glancing at the clock. It's nearly 9 am.

"I wanna play," said Angie as she jumped on the bed. "Ooof!" she fell on Hailey, who grabbed her and hugged her.

"Let's eat, then we'll play, okay?" Hailey sat and wore her arm sling.

"Mum said if it hurts, kiss it," said Angie and kissed Hailey's arm.

"Thanks, but it takes longer to heal," said Hailey. She helped Angie went down from the bed. They both went to the kitchen where Hailey prepared the instant pancake batter. She let Angie stand on a stool and poured pancake batter from a water bottle, a trick she learned from her mum. They were in the middle of making pancake when the doorbell rang. She picked Angie up with one hand and lowered her to the floor.

"Wait here, Ange. I'll open the door," Hailey said to her niece. She ran to the door, opening it after making sure it was Jay. "Come in. We're making pancakes," she ran back inside, flipping the pancake.

"I want to, Aunt Hailey," Angie asked for a lift. Hailey lifted her with her good hand. Jay noticed how she made sure her injured arm didn't do any work.

"Angie, this is my friend Jay," said Hailey. "He likes to make pancake, too. Can you show him how you do it?" asked Hailey.

"Yes, but I want chocolate chip," Angie smiled brightly that Jay couldn't help but smile too.

"Ask nicely."

"Aunt Hailey, can I have chocolate chip please?" Angie smiled when Hailey gave her a bag of chocolate chip. "Thank you!"

"Don't put too much, and be careful," Hailey put her hand around Angie, guarding her as she leaned forward to put some chips on the pancake. After they made one, Angie turned to Hailey and whispered. "Ask him," Hailey pointedly said, glancing at Jay.

"Do you want chocolate chip on your pancake?" asked Angie shyly at Jay.

"Yes, I want a lot of chocolate chip," said Jay.

"But my mum said a lot of chocolate makes your throat hurts," reasoned Angie. "You can have a little." Hailey burst out laughing, Jay followed. It's not every day a three year old tell him what to do.

"Bossy, just like auntie," Jay mocked to Hailey behind Angie's back.

"She's not bossy, she's right. So am I," retorted Hailey.

"Aunt Hailey, I want to flip it," said Angie. She flipped the pancake, with Hailey's help.

"Angie, how about you grab your toy to show to Jay? I'll finish making the pancakes," said Hailey. Upon hearing Angie's agreement, she lowered Angie to the floor. Angie disappeared to Hailey's room. Hailey turned on the heat and made multiple pancakes at a time.

"I just got back from Will's. He came down with a migraine, after a double shift and multiple deaths," said Jay.

"I thought he was on night shift?" asked Hailey. She used to have migraines too, so she was sympathetic.

"It ended at 6. Thankfully I went to the hospital, he was half asleep. He left his car there. Can we stop by en route to the park? I want to check on him," said Jay.

"Of course. Why didn't you stay with him?" asked Hailey.

"He was sleeping, and his migraine isn't too bad. If it was bad, he couldn't sleep through the migraine, even threw up multiple times," said Jay, remembering the past when he wrestled Will who wanted to punch his own head. Hailey flipped all the pancakes and opened her fridge.

"I have chicken soup I made yesterday. With this arm I can't really cook anything aside from that and pasta. We can bring it for him," said Hailey.

"I already texted Natalie. Owen's babysitter is going to drop him off at 12. We'll go there, pick Owen up, and bring Owen to the park with us if that's okay," Jay made plan.

"Wow, I bet it's like a lottery for Angie. She loves playing with others," said Hailey. Angie ran towards them and gave a stuffed toy to Jay.

"What's her name?" Jay squatted down.

"My mum named her Ariel, but I wanted the name Belle," said Angie.

"Why Belle?" asked Hailey.

"Because she's blonde like Belle. Like mum, me, and you," said Angie. "When my mum isn't home, I sleep with Ariel." She sat on the kitchen floor. Jay looked up at Hailey who mouthed 'nurse'.

"Alright, pancakes are done! Let's eat! Angie, don't sit on the kitchen floor," Hailey patted Angie's head, earning a giggle from Angie. Angie raised her hands, asking for a lift from Hailey.

"May I help you up? Aunt Hailey's hand is hurt, it's easier for me to help you," said Jay to Angie. Angie nodded and Jay pulled her up, placing her on the kitchen stool.

"Not exactly toddler friendly," he commented.

"Yeah, she used to sit on the table here, my sister-in-law hated it. I'll watch her," Hailey sat on the stool beside Angie. They ate the pancakes while making small talks. Angie had milk while Jay and Hailey had coffee. Jay announced he would do the dishes.

"You shouldn't, you're a guest," Hailey tried to reason with him.

"Just get ready, I can be bossy too," Jay shoved her lightly towards her room. Hailey and Angie got ready, she packed the soup for Will, and they headed out. They used Hailey's car since Angie's car seat was already installed.

"Before we're going to the park, we're going to pick up a friend, okay, Angie? His name is Owen, and he's three year old too. You can play with him," said Jay.

"Owen's a boy?" asked Angie.

"Yes, he is. He's nice and likes to run and climb. Do you like to run and climb?" asked Jay.

"Uh huh!" Angie's face lit up.

"Natalie gave my number to the babysitter, she would drop him off when we got there," said Jay. "She's on shift until 6 tonight." They went to Will and Natalie's apartment. Hailey put the soup on the stove. Jay took Angie to Owen's room.

"You can play here for a bit, these are Owen's toys. Do you like dinosaurs?" asked Jay.

"No, I only like Barney," said Angie.

"Barney?" asked Jay.

"The purple dinosaur," chimed Hailey who just joined them. "We're waiting for Owen to come home. I'm sure Owen has some books," she scrolled through the bookshelf and pulled out a thick book. "See, there's Donald Duck. Your favourite!"

"Donald! And that's Goofy!" Angie smiled. Jay peeked to Will's bedroom. He was in the same position in which Jay left him. Jay touched his forehead.

"Will, wake up," he tapped Will's shoulder. Will opened his eyes. "Slowly. How's your head?" asked Jay.

"Been better," Will cringed.

"You up for lunch?" asked Jay. "You have to, you haven't eaten anything."

"Is Owen home?" asked Will.

"We're waiting for him to be dropped off, I'll take him to the park so you can sleep," said Jay. "Hailey and her niece are here, figured those two can keep each other company."

"Never thought you two would babysit toddlers and not criminals," Will smirked. His head still hurts, but he wouldn't miss an opportunity to mess with his brother. "What is it, a family outing?"

"I can leave Owen here if you prefer so," Jay challenged. Will thought better than to answer, so he buried his face in the pillow.

"Don't. Owen will make my head explode," said Will. Jay massaged his head slowly, earning a few groans from Will.

"Why did you come to the hospital last night?" asked Will.

"Rough therapy session. I'm fine though, I went to Hailey's after that," said Jay.

"Sorry, guess I was busy," said Will. "You stayed there?"

"No, I went home. What is it with the question?"

"Nothing. You wanna talk about the session?"

"I'd rather not. You up for lunch? We brought you some soup," said Jay.

"No appetite, but… I guess," said Will.

"I'll grab your lunch." Jay patted Will's head and went to the kitchen just in time that the doorbell rang and Jay opened the door to Owen and the babysitter. The babysitter apologised, apparently Natalie tried to extend babysitting hours until evening, but she needed to go somewhere. Jay said thank you, and pulled Owen to introduce him to Angie. Hailey took the bowl and knocked softly on Will's bedroom door. She peeked inside.

"Hey, Will. It's Hailey," she tip-toed and sat on Will's bedside.

"Hailey. Sorry, not in my usual charming persona," said Will.

"Jay got his hands full with two kids. Here's soup for lunch, hopefully you can handle it," said Hailey. She instinctively helped Will to sit up. "Migraine's a bitch, eh?"

"Yeah. A bit better than this morning, though," said Will. "Heard you two are playing babysitters."

"I have my niece staying with me this weekend. And Jay took Owen. It's gonna be a handful, especially I only have one hand," said Hailey.

"Yeah, it's gonna be babysitting three kids for you today," Will smirked. Hailey laughed, remembering how it was when Jay and Owen played together. "Oh, come to Med on Monday, I'll check your shoulder."

"Can't wait to get out of this sling," Hailey gave Will the bowl. "Careful, it's still hot. You need something else?"

"Nope, thanks," said Will. Hailey went to Owen's room to see Jay, Owen, and Angie played with stuffed toys. She smiled and took picture with her phone, intending to show it to Will later.

"He's alright?" asked Jay to Hailey. Hailey nodded before went to the kitchen to make tea for Will. She rummaged through Natalie's kitchen and were pleased to find many varieties of tea. She boiled water to make chamomile tea and knocked on Will's room. Will was nearly done with lunch.

"I bring you tea and report. Here's the toddlers playing," Hailey showed her phone. Will smiled.

"Sometimes I wonder what would Jay be had he not enlist," said Will. "He could've been a camp counsellor, teacher, whatever that don't let him see terrible things."

"Terrible things happen everywhere, Will. You work in a hospital and you see it every day. My brother works in a law firm, last month a man jumped from tenth floor in front of his window. My dad owned a restaurant, we were robbed at gunpoint," Hailey smiled sadly. "We can only choose to forget terrible things, take the good things with us."

"Yeah… I guess. Last night a crash victim came, he just entered high school, rode his dad's bike without permission. Got thrown 50 yards away… I pronounced him within minutes of arrival, in front of his parents. And I had an eight year old girl who swallowed her toy, she arrived brain dead from not having oxygen. Things like that don't go away in a day."

"Good things happen too, let's not forget that. How many patients do you save, how many criminals I put off the street. When I think about it… the good things outweigh the bad things," said Hailey.

"Wow, you're wise! Please rub off on Jay," said Will. Hailey took the empty bowl as Will finished.

"I guess you should have Advil now? How's your head?"

"Been better, I'll take another one just in case," said Will. "The soup was good. You cooked?"

"Yeah, I can't cook other things with one hand. So I had soup multiple times this week," said Hailey. "Can't wait to have both my hands free."

Jay went into the room. "Are you done eating? We're gonna take Owen for lunch and play at the park, call me if you need anything," said Jay, squeezing Will's shoulder.

"Yeah. Thanks, guys," said Will. Hailey took it as her cue to leave, so she slipped outside to wash the bowl. Angie and Owen were ready. They went to Hailey's car. Jay installed Owen's car seat, then they all went to have lunch. They ordered a meal to be shared between Angie and Owen. Both kids were good at eating, they finished their meal without complain. Neither was a messy eater, and Hailey was secretly glad she didn't need to clean the table. She was restrained at her movement, with only one hand to eat with.

"They behave very well," commented an old lady sitting beside them. Jay and Hailey exchanged looks, neither knew how to respond.

"Which one is older? They look the same age," commented her table mate.

"They're not siblings… she will turn four in January," said Hailey. "How old are you, Owen?"

"Three!"

"I think Owen was born in the spring," said Jay.

"Ah, I see. Well, enjoy your day," said the old lady before walking out.

"Thank you," Hailey smiled at them. Both froze at the thought that they looked like a family.

"Are we done, Aunt Hailey?" asked Angie.

"Yes, after you finish your drink," said Hailey. Angie quickly obliged, finishing her drink. "I'll take her to the bathroom," Hailey said to Jay. Jay took her out of the high chair and put her down. Jay finished leftover pieces of chips on Owen's plate, and cleaned the table.

"You want to take Owen to the bathroom before we go, or shall I?" asked Hailey. Jay's eyes nearly popped out of his eyes. He didn't know what to do. "I'm guessing this is your first time babysitting, isn't it?" Hailey laughed. "Come on, Owen, let me take you to the bathroom." She gave Angie to Jay and grabbed Owen's hand before making second trip to the bathroom.

"She looks like her mum," commented the server.

"Ah, she's not… never mind," said Jay. "Here they are. Let's go," he held Angie's hand to the car. It took them some time until both toddlers are seated in their car seats. Jay drove to a park. Once they got there, Angie and Owen ran to the playground which has slides and see-saw.

"Aunt Hailey, I want to play this," Angie pulled Hailey's hand toward the slides. Usually Hailey had no problem taking Angie to play with those, but this time she had only one hand.

"I'll help her. Owen, let's do the slides, buddy!" Jay picked Owen up with one hand and pulled Angie to the slides. Hailey sat on a bench. She hadn't really gone out for a long time. Work had taken its toll on her lately. She attended few therapy sessions after the Booth case, and then Al's death… another mandatory therapy sessions. She took a short leave shortly after Al's funeral to stay with her parents on a weekend. This was the first weekend that she was completely free.

"They're in the sand box," suddenly Jay sat beside her. They moved to a bench which overlooks the sand box. "What did you and Will talk about?"

"Why did you ask? You're not usually nosey," countered Hailey.

"You both have supported me since I got shot, I have a feeling that you talked about me," said Jay. "Tell me. If you didn't talk about me, then we can forget that this conversation ever happened."

"You're not completely wrong. But we didn't talk about you today. We did last week, after the funeral. That's all." Hailey sighed. "He's worried about you. He knew you opened up to me. He didn't ask what you talked about, of course, but he thanked me for being there for you." Jay remained silent.

"Why did he…"

"He felt guilty that he couldn't be there for you back then, and I think… I think he was worried that now you didn't talk to him because of what happened in the past," Hailey looked forward, waving to Angie who just waved at them. "Jay, that's the thing with older siblings. They want to protect their younger siblings, no matter how old they are. Last time I broke up, mind you, I was already a detective, my brothers wanted to threaten my ex-boyfriend the same way they did my high school boyfriend. Point is… remember when you walked out on Will because he said you wouldn't talk to him? I think that frustrated him, he thought that you didn't trust him. He was relieved when he knew you talked to me, that you were not bottling things up yourself, and you have someone to lean on. But I sensed… guilt? Disappointment? Not disappointed in you, but in himself, that he isn't worthy enough of your trust," said Hailey. Phew, what a speech, she thought. It's unlike her to speak at length, even when she tried to knock some sense into her hard-headed partner.

"I don't want to get involved in your family matters, Jay, but you should think about that. Do it for Will. He was guilty that you saw demons in the Army, and that you're being haunted by the memory," said Hailey, squeezing Jay's knee.

"We're both adults, he's no more responsible than I am for everything. He didn't talk to me, I shouldn't have to talk to him," defended Jay.

"I know. That's how we view it, because we're the younger siblings. I never interfere with my brothers' relationships. But they always do with mine. That's just how it is," said Hailey. They were interrupted by Angie who ran to them, asking for drink. She ran back to Owen who was waving to her to be quick.

"You have a nice family," commented an onlooker. Both Hailey and Jay were flustered.

"Thank you," said Jay. "I don't feel like explaining," he shrugged when Hailey looked at him questioningly. He remained silent to take in Hailey's words.

"Come to think about it… Will commented on my relationship with Erin when I asked for the ring. I didn't ask a single question when he wanted it back for Natalie. When I got kidnapped before, he tried to convince me to take a desk job like Platt. When Med was bombed, I only asked if he was fine, didn't even make comment on how dangerous the job is. I think you have a point," said Jay after a few minutes.

"It sucks, but it is how it is," said Hailey.

"Really, what would I do without you," Jay shook his head. "I'll get us some coffee," he went to the coffee vendor. Hailey smiled and joined Angie and Owen at the sand box. She was helping Owen with their castle when she heard a very loud blast from the other side of the park. Without thinking, she grabbed both Angie and Owen and covered them with her body as she threw herself into the sand box.

* * *

_I'm not familiar with any three year old so excuse me if Angie (and Owen) does not behave like one, or said things child that age shouldn't. We'll meet the team in the next chapter. _


	13. Chapter 13

When the bomb blasted at the other end of the park, Jay was covered behind a directional board, hence he didn't feel the impact of the blast. However, hearing the blast was enough to float him back to the war zone. The sound of people screaming, children including, reminded him of an ambush. Wait. Children? He was here with children!

"Hailey! Owen! Angie!" he ran back to where he sat. Hailey wasn't there, so he went to the sand box. He saw Hailey lying face down into the sand box. He carefully lifted her and immediately relief rushed through his body. Hailey's arms were around Angie and Owen as they both were covered underneath her.

"Uncle Jay!" Owen shrieked.

"Owen, you okay? Anything hurt?" asked Jay, quickly scanned both Owen and Angie. They were both covered in sand, shocked, but they seemed fine. Their head weren't hit either as Hailey's hands were protecting them. Jay turned to Hailey who just stirred in his arms. His heart sank when he realised she was bleeding from her head. Apparently she hit the concrete side of the sandbox.

"You're hurt. It's bleeding a lot," said Jay. He checked the wound and was relieved to see that the wound isn't deep. There were a lot of crying children around them but most got picked up by their parents immediately.

"I'm okay. Call it in!" said Hailey. She pulled Angie to her chest, the toddler was crying hysterically when she saw Hailey's blood. It's starting to get chaotic around them. Jay grabbed his phone and called 911.

"This is 5021 George, there's a blast in Ping Tom Memorial Park. I repeat, Ping Tom Memorial Park. Off duty officer reporting!"

Hailey pulled a crying little girl to her. "Hey, my name is Hailey. What's your name?" asked her. "It's okay, who are you here with?" The girl had sand in her eyes.

"My…dad," she sniffled.

"We'll find your dad, okay?" Hailey held her hand and started blowing at her eyes, blowing the sand out of her eyes. "It's okay, it's okay. Let me see your eyes," said Hailey. She helped the girl until she stopped crying.

"Go, take them both, stay in the car. I'll take a look," said Jay, holding Owen and tried to calm him down. Hailey wanted to argue. She considered asking Jay take the kids while she would go to the bombing side, knowing bomb and battered victims would do no good for Jay's PTSD. However, she knew but knew Jay would disagree. She was bloodied from the head, and she was still on desk duty. Moreover, they have Angie and Owen with them. The kids' safety is their priority.

"Alright. Come on," said Hailey.

"Olivia!" called a man. "Olivia!"

"Daddy!" the girl shrieked.

"Olivia!" the man went to them, scooped up the girl and hugged her. "Oh my God, thank you! You're bleeding. Do you need anything?" asked him.

"No, we're good," said Jay.

"Your wife is bleeding. You need a lift to the ER?" asked him.

"We're with CPD. Go somewhere safe, sir. Don't worry about me," said Hailey. The man nodded, thanked them, then went away. Jay helped Hailey up. Angie was still clinging to her neck. She carried Angie with her good hand, and held Owen's hand. Her sling snapped when she grabbed Angie and Owen earlier. Jay gave her the car key. "Be careful," she grabbed Jay's arm.

"Yeah, you too. You have a gun?" Jay touched her back. Hailey shook her head. She knew Jay carried a weapon, but she couldn't without making it obvious, moreover, she didn't want to carry a weapon with Angie around. "Here," Jay slipped his sidearm to Hailey's hand.

"No, you bring it," Hailey declined. Jay was going to act as a police, he needed it.

"Hailey, you have two kids with you," reasoned Jay. Hailey knew he had a point. Had anything happened, she wouldn't be able to defend the three of them. She shrugged the weapon to her jeans and lifted Owen up with her injured hand to get out of there quickly. They went to the car. She shushed Angie and Owen until they calmed down. She pulled out wet wipes and tried to clean up the kids' clothes and hair and gave them water. She looked at the mirror. Her wound isn't deep, but blood streamed down her face. Angie cried looking at her wound.

"You have boo-boo," said Angie.

"Angie, help me okay? Can you hold this?" Hailey gave Angie a roll of bandage.

"You're hurt," said Owen.

"Yes, I am. I will be okay, though," said Hailey. Angie cried and tried to touch Hailey's face.

"Owen, can you help me? Hold Angie's hand, tell her that it's fine," said Hailey. Owen obliged.

Hailey cleaned her wound while listening to the police frequency. She winced and let out a quiet shriek when sanitising her wound with alcohol, prompting Angie to come closer to kiss her cheek and wiped her tears. After her wound was wiped clean (and kissed multiple times by Angie) and bandaged, she gave both kids water and biscuits.

"You both are very brave today. I'm gonna call your mums, okay? I'll let them know we're all okay," said Hailey.

"Is Uncle Jay okay?" asked Owen.

"Yes he is. He's helping out there," said Hailey. First she called her sister-in-law, ensuring her that Angie was fine, and Angie even got to talk with her mum. Hailey then called Natalie, but she didn't answer. She resorted to text messages before trying to call Will. Of course, Will didn't answer as well.

"Your mum is working, Owen. We'll just stay here and wait until everything is okay," said Hailey. She saw chaos outside, as paramedics and first responders went by her car. It's very unusual for her, just observing from behind a glass. Hailey kept Angie and Owen busy, telling stories and playing with stuffed toys, until her phone rang.

"Upton," she answered Voight's call.

"Upton, are you nearby Ping Tom Park?" asked Voight. She wasn't on call, and she has the injury in her shoulder, but her help might be needed.

"Yes, Sarge, I'm in Ping Tom Park Parking Lot, but I have my niece with me," said Hailey. Next thing she knew, Voight knocked at her passenger seat. She opened the lock.

"You're here with Halstead," Voight deducted.

"We were here during the blast, this is my niece Angie and this is Owen Manning, Jay's babysitting for Will," said Hailey.

"Alright. So you're sitting out this case," said Voight.

"I can send Angie back to my parents and Owen to Will's place," said Hailey. Angie sat on her lap, clinging to her while sending judging look to Voight.

"After Halstead is done, I want you two to drop them off and go to the district. Go through all camera, flag suspicious vehicles and people. We'll start eliminating. The rest of us will canvass the area and talk to witnesses in the hospital. You're still on desk duty," said Voight. He patted Angie's head.

"How many casualties?" asked Hailey.

"Ten died so far, over twenty hurt," said Voight. "You're hurt?"

"Bumped into the sand box," Hailey said.

"Aunt Hailey boo!" said Angie.

"Aunt Hailey is gonna be okay," said Voight. "She's strong. And I need her to help me find who hurt her, okay? She's going to send you home so she can help me," Voight talked in a tone Hailey never heard before.

"Voight," Voight's tone snapped back to normal. He opened the car door and left. Next Jay came, occupied the seat Voight just vacated.

"Uncle Jay!" Owen practically leaped into his lap.

"You okay?" asked Hailey. She knew it must be triggering for Jay.

"Yeah," Jay avoided her inquiring eyes.

"Jay," Hailey's tone was filled with warning.

"I'm okay, Hailey," Jay shrugged her worry off. He saw the bloodied tissue papers Hailey used to clean her wound, visibly shaken. Hailey followed his eyes and stuffed the tissues into the trash can. "You sanitised it?" Hailey nodded. Kevin, Adam, and Kim knocked on Hailey's window. Hailey opened her window.

"Hey… um?" Adam was confused. He felt like intruding a family outing. Hailey was sitting on driver seat and Jay was on the passenger seat, both had a kid on their lap. "Wow, didn't see that coming. Nice family you have there." If Hailey and Jay's looks could kill, Adam would be dead.

"Really, Adam?" Kim rolled her eyes. "Hi, I'm Kim, what's your name?"

"Angie," Angie smiled at Kim. Kim shook her hand.

"And she's yours? Because I'm seeing double right now," asked Adam.

"She's my niece," it's Hailey's turn to roll her eyes.

"And Jay?" asked Adam, pointing at Owen. Owen squirmed in Jay's lap, burying his head in Jay's shirt. Jay poked him until he giggled.

"This is Owen, Natalie's son. Will's sick, I'm babysitting so he can rest at home," said Jay. Angie poked Owen, earning a giggle from her newfound friend. Hailey poked Angie in the stomach, making the little girl squirmed in Hailey's lap.

"You're hurt? Did you see anything?" asked Kim to Hailey.

"I heard blast, and I jumped at them. I stayed that way until Jay came," said Hailey.

"She has blood eee-verywhere," said Owen.

"It's alright Owen," said Jay. "We'll drop you home safely, and then Will can take a look at Hailey."

"We'll send pictures," said Kim. They all went away towards the scene.

"Where's your sling?" asked Jay.

"It snapped when I grabbed them," said Hailey. "Sit in your seat, little lady," said Hailey to Angie. Angie obliged. Jay placed Owen in his car seat as well.

"I'll drive. Do we need to pick up new sling for your hand?" asked Jay. They exchanged place.

"I don't think so, it's nearly healed anyway," said Hailey. "My parents aren't picking up. I can bring Angie to the district, she can keep herself company. Will didn't pick up as well," said Hailey, and tried calling Will again.

"Neither Will nor Natalie picked up. What do you reckon? Bring them to the district?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah, I think so. They can keep Platt company," Jay snickered. Hailey laughed. "Oh well, they can stay in the break room. Let's pick up some snacks for them."

"You're going to regret that, but we have no other options. So much for babysitting," Hailey rolled her eyes. Jay stopped at a supermarket.

"What should I buy?" asked Jay. Hailey gave him Angie's biscuit. Once Jay got out of the car, Hailey read texts on her phone. Turned out her parents were outside of town. They were going to go back to Chicago later, so they would pick Angie up at the district. Hailey called Chicago Med ER.

"Hi, this is Detective Upton. Can you put me through to Dr. Manning?" asked Hailey, relieved that she recognised the voice as April's.

"Dr. Manning is currently busy, can you leave a message?" said April.

"Yes, please. Tell her that her son Owen is at 21st district, and she can pick him up anytime," said Hailey. She hung up after saying thank you. "Your mum is going to pick you up later, until then, you're gonna play with Angie, alright?" asked Hailey. She looked at Angie who was asleep. Before long, Jay came back.

"Biscuits, milk, and coffee for us," said Jay. Hailey smiled thanking him.

"Lucky you went to buy coffee earlier, otherwise I wouldn't be at the sand box," commented Hailey.

"Yeah, I hadn't reached the vendor when the bomb went off. I'm gonna take a look at your wound later," Jay pointed at her head. She knew it was of no use to argue with Jay.

* * *

Once they got to 21st district, both Angie and Owen were asleep. Hailey carried Angie with her good hand. Jay followed her with Owen in his arm and Angie and Owen's bag in the other.

"Do I wanna know?" Platt looked at them when they walked up the stairs to the district.

"Sarge," Hailey smiled at Platt.

"Why do you each have a kid that looks like you?" asked Platt.

"My niece. We were in Ping Tom Park when the blast happened," said Hailey. "That's Dr. Manning's son. We work as babysitters in our free time," she said, half sarcastic, half serious.

"They are gonna be picked up later, we're here to look through camera footages," said Jay. "And she's hurt, we need emergency kit."

"Let them sleep in the break room. I have some mattresses they can lie on," said Platt. She went to the locker room with them, providing them some mattresses from a locker. Angie and Owen each got one mattress. They let the door open so they could hear voices.

"Come on, I'll take a look at your wound," said Jay. "And later you have to go back to Med, you did carry Owen with the injured hand." Hailey followed Jay back to the locker room. He took out her bandage and looked at the wound. "You sanitised it?"

"Yeah, the alcohol burned, give me a heads up if you'll do it again," said Hailey. She knew how much paranoid Jay is about injuries, must be something that happened when he served in the Army.

"Sorry," Jay offered an apology before dabbing alcohol swab on her wound. Hailey cringed. It didn't hurt as much as before, but it still stung. Jay quickly redressed her wound. "It looks fine. You have to change the dressing later."

"Thanks," said Hailey. They quickly went to work, going through camera footages. They managed to eliminate cars and isolated two suspicious vehicles.

"I'm gonna take a look at Owen and Angie," said Jay. He went to the break room. Owen and Angie were playing with blocks and puzzles. Jay kept them company for a while. After he gave them biscuits for snack, he heard a cough behind him.

"Hi, dad," Kim teased him.

"Kim, really? You too?" Jay rolled his eyes. Hailey's and his eyes sure got a lot of workout done today, with people teasing them.

"They're really cute. You didn't send them home?" asked Kim.

"Angie's grandparents—Hailey's parents—are out of town, they're going to pick her up later. We are unable to contact Natalie, Med must be slammed, it's the closest hospital to the scene. Will didn't pick up too, he was pretty sick in the morning, he must have turned off his phone. Natalie's shift ended at 6 though," said Jay.

"And how's Hailey doing? Her shoulder and her wound?" asked Kim.

"Would is cleaned and dressed. Shoulder, though, is another story. She carried Owen earlier with that hand, which she shouldn't do," said Jay.

"What are you both doing, babysitting together?" Kim voiced what was in her mind, and everybody's, since they met in the park.

"I owe her a lot, dealing with what happened last week. And she got injured, she was upset she couldn't drive. She had promised to babysit Angie. So I offered to drive her. This morning, Will got sick, Natalie was on shift, and the babysitter couldn't keep Owen until Nat's shift ends. So I took Owen with us so Will could rest," said Jay.

"I thought…"

"What?"

"No, nothing. You just look like a family," Kim smiled. Jay seemed at ease with Hailey, Angie, and Owen, unlike his usual restrained self. She witnessed a lot of Jay's teasing and flirtation towards Erin back then, but this is a side of Jay she never saw before. He seemed completely at peace, almost content.

"Yeah… didn't think of that before. It's nothing like that, Kim," reasoned Jay.

"Hey, it's not me you have to explain to. I imagine Sarge will have your head on his table soon," Kim smiled. "Talking of, one BOLO got a hit. We're going to pick up the driver. Sarge wanted you to dig into him—which I'm sure Hailey started already."

"Alright, you two behave nicely, okay? I'll just be outside, you can call me or Aunt Hailey if you need anything," said Jay. He ruffled Angie's hair before went outside. Hailey was at her desk, deep into her digging into one Anthony Wesley.

"This is a street cam just facing his house, you wanna take a look?" asked Hailey, waving a thumb drive.

"I'll be downstairs, then," said Jay. Hailey was engrossed in her digging of the suspect, she didn't realise Platt went into the break room to play with Angie and Owen. When Hailey went to the break room after sending some information to the team, she smiled and leaned at the doorframe to watch them.

"That's a side of you I didn't expect," commented Hailey.

"Oh, I just didn't get the chance with my own," said Platt.

"Thank you for keeping them company. I bet Angie didn't expect that when she begged to have a sleepover in my place," Hailey squatted when Angie ran to her. She picked Angie up and let Angie pet her wound. Angie insisted to kiss her wound. "She's been kissing my arm since yesterday because I was hurt. And now my head," said Hailey.

"When Dr. Manning picked Owen up, ask her to look at your wound," said Platt. She rose and exited the room. Hailey fed both the kids and used her computer to show them cartoon. She had to admit that both kids behaved very well for their age. Owen must be used to entertaining himself, having a single mother who worked shift hours. Angie's mother is a nurse who worked shift, too.

"There's another bomb near a school in Bridgeport," Jay went to the room and plopped next to Owen. Hailey could see how disturbed he was. Owen crawled to his lap and sat there.

"School? That doesn't make sense. Bombing a park on a Saturday means they wanted attention, wanted to create mass casualty. But a school, on a Saturday…" Hailey passed Jay a cup of coffee from the machine, noting that his hands were shaking.

"There's a homecoming night later. Five teachers and ten students, all members of the committee, were hurt. Two security guards were dead," said Jay.

"Oh, crap…" Hailey didn't realise she cursed in front of Angie and Owen. Angie leaned to her, hugging her neck. Hailey sat beside Jay. She whispered to Angie who hopped next to Owen on Jay's lap and gave Jay a hug. Jay pat Angie's head until she fell asleep, leaning on him. Voight went into the room to grab coffee.

"The suspect is on the way here, border patrol picked him up in the airport, trying to board a flight to Canada," said Voight. Hailey nodded. Voight stood in front of her.

"It was terrible, Sarge. Many families were there. I didn't help at all, just stayed in the car," Hailey shook her head.

"You were off duty, you have bigger responsibility," Voight nodded at Angie and Owen, both was asleep on Jay's laps.

"Yeah, I could only think about what would I tell their mums if they were injured," Hailey smiled. "Next time she stays over, we'll watch cartoon at my place."

"Do I need to ask about the two of you?" asked Voight, clearly referring to the fact that Hailey and Jay were in the park together, at weekend, in what seems to be a family outing. Hailey glanced at Jay, who was asleep beside her. He looked peaceful, each hand around each child. Both Voight and Hailey cannot help but smiled seeing them.

"No, nothing Sarge," said Hailey.

"Alright," said Voight.

"Hey, Dr. Manning is here. I asked her to look at your head wound," Platt peeked into the break room, followed by Natalie. "Oh, my heart," she gasped looking at Jay, Angie, and Owen.

"Sergeant Voight. Hailey, Sergeant Platt said you got hurt in the bombing?" asked Natalie. "We were swarmed today, it was terrible. Thank you for keeping Owen safe," said Natalie, standing beside Hailey to look at her wound.

"I got it sanitised already, twice," said Hailey.

"I noticed that. It was clean, I'll just redress it. Keep it dry, and change the dressing twice a day," said Natalie, putting a clean dressing on Hailey's wound.

"Thanks, Natalie," Hailey smiled. "Hey, Jay, wake up. Natalie's here," she held Jay's shoulder firmly. Jay woke up.

"Sorry, didn't realise I fell asleep," said Jay. "Owen, your mum is here." He shook Owen lightly. Owen opened his eyes and leaned to Natalie, who caught him.

"Let's go home, okay honey?" Natalie carried Owen. "Thanks for keeping him today, guys. And for taking care of Will," said Natalie.

"I'll walk you out," said Platt. Natalie took Owen's bag and they left.

"Go home, you two. It's your day off, you're not on call today," said Voight. "The suspect is on the way, it shouldn't take him a lot to crack. Explosives were found at his house, along with detailed plan of the attacks."

"We'll wait until Angie got picked up. My parents should be here anytime," said Hailey. Her phone rang. "Ah, just in time," she rose from her seat and picked Angie up from Jay's lap, forgetting that she shouldn't use her right hand.

"That's why you need your sling," chastised Jay.

"Take her to Med," said Voight to Jay. "I'll send you out," Voight motioned to Hailey. Hailey gave a horror look to Jay that her parents were going to meet her boss. Jay hid his laugh. Hailey did look like a student whose parents were called to the principal office. To be honest, it was kind of hilarious. It took everything in him to not follow them and peek from the stairs.

* * *

_Sorry, abrupt ending! It shouldn't be end of chapter yet, but it's too long so I ended it abruptly. Thanks for all the kind comments on the last chapter! Reading update on other fanfics really boost my writing mood too! _


	14. Chapter 14

Med was buzzing with chaos when Hailey arrived. Maggie pulled her into the break room, which clearly had seen a better day. "It was mad, we had patients here today too," said Maggie. "Dr. Sexton will see you soon. Sorry, but the observation rooms are filled with patients from the school bombing."

"If there's an emergency, I can wait," said Hailey.

"Honey, this is ER. Of course everything is emergency. There's no life-threatening case, Dr. Sexton can see you." They looked at Noah who just entered the break room. He assessed Hailey's arm, relieving her from the use of sling, but tied her shoulder and arm.

"Is this wound from the bombing?" asked Noah.

"Yeah, but I just had Dr. Manning redress it, so it should be fine," said Hailey.

"You're good to go then," said Noah. Hailey said thank you, then went to the lobby where Jay waited. He rose when she approached and they walked to the car.

"Beer and pizza?" asked Jay.

"Yeah. Clearly babysitting is more tiring than detective job."

"Second that," said Jay. "Halstead," he answered his phone. "Alright. Thanks. That was Adam. The suspect cracked in interrogation. Well, he didn't really lie, though, he was honest about wanting to terrorise families. Apparently he was abused by his family, was bullied in school, and wanted to give an out for kids and teens. There's another bomb planted in church for tomorrow's service, bomb squad managed to defuse it," said Jay.

"Good, he can no longer do that," said Hailey. They picked up pizza on the way and went to Hailey's place, tucked in on the pizza immediately. "What a day, we can't even survive a day babysitting without drama. It's terrible," Hailey said once they finished the pizza and Jay cracked open two beers, passing one to her.

"Yeah it was," agreed Jay.

"You okay? It can be a little…triggering," said Hailey. Jay shrugged his shoulders. Hailey looked at him. Jay avoided her eyes, knowing he was likely to break any second. Hailey's touch on his arm broke his dam.

"It was awful, Hailey. The first victim I saw was a little girl. She died instantly, with her dog… I think she happened to play hide and seek near the exploded trash can. There's another child, his leg got blown up… his dad died. All because he wanted to play kite today. How can people do that to them? I mean… I've never seen anything as terrible after Afghanistan," Jay's voice was shaken with anger and fear. "We chased criminals, took drug off the street, but one guy decided to destroy families because of a childhood trauma?" Jay put his head in his hands; his breathing went rapid as he went into panic attack. Hailey put her hand around his shoulder and guided him to breathe.

"It's okay, breathe, in and out, in, out…" Hailey soothed Jay and guided him breathing. She rubbed circles on his back. "Jay, follow my breathing. Come on, you can do it. Deep breathe," she forced Jay to look at her. His skin was pale and clammy and tears were streaming down his face. She pulled Jay to lean on to her shoulder, purposely taking deep breathes until Jay's breathes mimic hers.

"Gosh… sorry, Hailey," he wiped his tears and tried to contain himself. "I didn't mean to… sorry."

"Of course you didn't mean to. It's okay, it happened," said Hailey. She wanted to grab a glass of water for Jay, but he grabbed her hand as soon as she stood.

"Stay, wait. I'm still…" Jay trailed off. Hailey understood. The memory from the afternoon brought him back to the war. To be honest, Hailey expected this reaction, after witnessing a couple panic attacks and nightmares last week. That was why she considered exchanging places with Jay earlier, had she not been hurt. Not that she enjoyed seeing torn up bodies, children especially, but it would give less impact for her than Jay. She rubbed Jay's back.

"It should've been me who go to the scene," said Hailey.

"No, Hailey, no. I don't wish you seeing that kind of scene. I don't wish my worst enemy seeing that kind of scene. It was terrible," Jay released Hailey's hand, his hand was still trembling hard. Hailey grabbed a glass of water and pushed it into Jay's hands.

"I'm sorry you got reminded of it," offered Hailey.

"Today was kind of worse than war, because it happened in our own country, our own neighbourhood. Hell, it could've been us that got blown today. It changed me. I'm glad you've never seen it. Not that you can't handle it, it's just… no," said Jay. "I'd happily see another gruesome scene again if that means you got spared from seeing it. It will scar you for life." He realised how loaded his words were, however, those were true. He would do anything to protect her, both physically in a gunfight, and mentally.

"Thanks, Jay. That means a lot. But I've submitted myself to those things when I joined the Academy," Hailey smiled sadly. "Robbery Homicide scarred me too… I don't know whether it compared to the scene from today, but I don't need to be spared. We're even partners. I'd do it for you too, if that means you don't get another panic attack." Jay squeezed Hailey's hand, feeling grateful once more for a partner with a heart of gold.

"The whole day, I was worried I would break down if I didn't focus enough. That's why I didn't want to talk about it, especially in front of Angie and Owen."

"You managed to delay the reaction," stated Hailey.

"Yeah, that's the best I can do for now. It's inevitable, but I can delay it. Having them did help, though. I forgot what happened and could relax," Jay smiled. "I even got to sleep a bit and didn't have panic attack when I woke up."

"Which is good, you had two kids on your lap," reminded Hailey. "You look very peaceful though, with them latching on to you. Even Platt melted seeing you."

"What can I say, I have that effect on Platt," Jay raised his eyebrow, prompting laughter and eye roll from Hailey. "I'm sorry that everyone made fun of us looking like a family, if that made you uncomfortable."

"No, it didn't," said Hailey. "Every time I brought Angie out, people always comment on how alike we are, I didn't even bother correcting them anymore when they referred to her as my daughter. Hell, even my sister-in-law didn't bother correcting when I went with them."

"She really looks like you, I couldn't believe it," said Jay. "Were you that well-behaved too?"

"I don't think so, she's very mature for her age. Her mum works shift and her dad works long hours, she's used to entertaining herself. I have two older brothers who doted on me. Of course I was self-centric as a kid, I was the apple of their eyes, the little princess," Hailey laughed.

"Ah, you've been bossy since you were born," mocked Jay.

"Whatever you say," Hailey laughed and threw TV remote at Jay.

"Yesterday, in the therapist's office… I got panic attack too. The difference was I had to pull myself together by myself. She didn't help, she just watched me. She said I have to be able to overcome it, to gain full control of the attack. Took me more than 15 minutes to calm down. I nearly passed out," said Jay.

"So did I do wrong?" asked Hailey.

"According to the therapist, yes. But according to me, no. I need to be kept grounded, it was horrible going through a panic attack by myself," said Jay. Hailey only nodded, her heart broke a little when she remembered what Jay said a couple days prior. Not many people are willing to stay through a panic attack. So he had been through some by himself. She grabbed a beer, contemplating whether to offer one to Jay. He might want to drive home tonight.

"Get me one if you don't mind," said Jay. "How was Voight's meeting with your parents? You looked terrified," he snickered.

"It was weird. My parents were like, oh, so you're behind our daughter's injuries? Mind you, I was the princess in the family before my nieces came along. But he charmed them, I think, he said, 'yes sir, it was unfortunate, but she's been an asset to us'. My parents used to think I threw my life away when I went to the Academy straight out of college. I'm kind of glad Voight said that to them. And he promised them that he would look out for me," Hailey smiled.

"I wish I could've promise them that, too. You were hurt again today, under my nose. I will bubble wrap you next time. You've been hurt three times in two weeks," said Jay. The bruise on Hailey's cheek was only starting to disappear, and now she sported a bandage on her hairline.

"Why are you keeping tab?" Hailey rolled her eyes. "Good thing is I'm no longer on desk duty. I can go back to field again on Monday," she said giddily.

"What did I just say? I'm gonna bubble wrap you so you don't get further injuries," said Jay. "Med is really going to award you platinum membership otherwise." Hailey didn't comment. Jay picked up his phone and look through messages.

"Are you going home or crashing here?" Finally she voiced the thing that was on their minds. Jay suspected he would get nightmare later tonight. He didn't want Hailey to see him having nightmare, but he needed Hailey to ground him, to hold and talk to him through the nightmare.

"Do you mind?" Jay asked sheepishly.

"Duh, Jay, if I minded, I would've kicked you to the curb already!" Hailey went to the hallway cabinet and pulled an extra set of blanket—_my_ blanket, Jay thought—and threw it at Jay. "I'm gonna start charging some fee though," she joked.

"Don't let Platt hear that. You just told her that you work as babysitter, too. She will think that we are underpaid," said Jay. Hailey laughed and pulled out a tequila bottle.

"I asked because I was about to offer you alcohol," Hailey smirked, passing him a glass. They had a drink while watching NBA replay. Hailey started to nod off, but pretended she didn't every time she realised it.

"Hey, this is my bed. Go sleep on yours," joked Jay. He was nervous about sleeping, he was almost certain he would get nightmare. Hailey had seen it before, but he wanted to spare her from seeing another one. He didn't know how to at least keep his nightmare quiet, he usually made noises.

"Yeah… I'm gonna call it a day," said Hailey. She rose, picking up beer bottles from the table. Jay made a split decision.

"Hey, I know you're tired and injured, but… actually, I needed… no, I'm wondering if you… if you could stay until I'm asleep," he said sheepishly. Hailey looked at him, her expression was unreadable. "I mean, I understand if you don't want to, it's just…" he started rambling.

"Lie down," ordered Hailey. She sat down and put a cushion near her for Jay to sleep on. "You don't need to beat around the bush, Jay. Just ask," she chastised lightly as Jay settled on the couch.

"We're partners, you don't need to deal with my shit," reasoned Jay.

"We're friends, your shit is my shit," Hailey fixed the blanket. "Thanks for babysitting with me today. It was fun, despite what happened," she ran her hand on Jay's shoulder, a position they were becoming familiar with lately.

"Yeah, if Intelligence doesn't work out, we can open a babysitting business," joked Jay.

"And you're gonna bubble wrap each kid, I know." They both laughed. She hummed lightly following the rhythm of the mid-game singer in TV. She intended to wait a bit until Jay fell asleep, then moved to her room. However, her eyelids became heavier every minute. Before she knew it, she fell asleep sitting on the couch.

* * *

Jay woke up at 3 am to a late night TV comedy show. He looked around and saw Hailey sitting in her original position before he was asleep. Her position seemed painful, and he was sure she would feel stiff the following day. Feeling a bit guilty because obviously she stayed for him, he touched her shoulder.

"Hailey, wake up," he whispered, didn't actually have the heart to wake her up. After the day she went through and the additional injury, she deserved to have a long, uninterrupted rest. She didn't react. Decision had been made. He tip-toed to Hailey's room to open the door and her duvet. He pulled Hailey to lean on him, easily manoeuvring her body and slipped his other hand under his knee. He then carried her to her room, half amused and half jealous that she didn't even stir as he settled her down on the bed. He tucked her in, smiling fondly as he saw her peaceful face, despite the bandage on her forehead and bruise on her cheek. He left her room and went back to the couch. Last year he despised having a new partner, but now he couldn't imagine not having her as his partner. He fell asleep feeling at peace.

* * *

_A short one, an angsty one (sorry!), should've been in the same chapter with the last one, but I split it due to the length. Which length of chapter is actually preferable? I like writing longer ones (3500ish words like last one), but I found most fanfics' chapter is around 1000-2000 words (this one is 2400). Anyway, appreciate all the comments and looking forward to some Upstead contents in the hiatus! _


	15. Chapter 15

Hailey woke up to the smell of food and coffee. She yawned and went to the kitchen, dragging her feet. Jay was cooking breakfast.

"Hey, sleep well?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah, I did. Thanks," Jay smiled. Hailey poured herself a cup of coffee and sighed as the caffeine entered her system.

"Glad to hear that. I think I slept before you did, I was really tired."

"Maybe you did. I woke up at 3 and you were folded in a painful position," said Jay.

"You carried me to my room?" asked Hailey. Jay suddenly thought that he must have crossed boundaries.

"Yeah, sorry, I thought you would be stiff in the morning otherwise, so I took you to your room. Sorry," said Jay.

"No, thank you," said Hailey. "What are you making?"

"Just egg and toast, your fridge isn't exactly inspiring," mocked Jay.

"What can I do, I have only one hand this past week," said Hailey. "I do have some bacon, though." She rummaged through her fridge and passed a pack of bacon to him.

"How's the head?" asked Jay.

"It's okay. I'll change the dressing," Hailey went to the bathroom to freshen up. She took a shower, being careful of not getting water into the bandage, and emerged feeling refreshed after showering and washing her hair. She grabbed emergency kit and went into the bathroom.

"Need help?" asked Jay as he watched her from the kitchen.

"No, I'm good," she answered. Minutes later she went to the kitchen, smiling widely seeing a plate of breakfast waiting for her. Jay had already started his breakfast, scrolling through his phone.

"Total of 14 casualty yesterday," Jay sighed.

"Thank God the church bomb didn't explode, otherwise…" Hailey cringed. "My mum said Angie didn't stop talking about Aunt Trudy and Owen," she changed the topic.

"You have to tell Platt," Jay laughed.

"When's your next therapy?" asked Hailey.

"Monday morning," Jay played with his toast. "Not really looking forward to it, considering how badly the last session went."

"It'll get better," Hailey smiled.

"I don't know. Judging from my reaction yesterday, it got worse," Jay looked down, feeling deflated. "I thought I'd be able to manage my reaction…"

"It takes time, Jay. Baby steps."

"I just want to live normally. To be able to sleep after a rough day. It seems everyone can do it, except me."

Hailey cringed inside seeing how broken Jay looked. She knew Jay partly talked about her. She didn't even realise Jay carried her to bed last night, which shows how deep her sleep was.

"Jay, come on. It's not comparable. Everyone had their fair share of nightmare. For me, it's mutilation, kids, and all that, not to mention…" Hailey caught herself at the last moment. "Point is, everyone has their own demons."

"I don't wish that on you, Hailey. You know that. It's just…" Jay trailed off, considering his next statement. "It's just… I feel weak for reacting the way I did yesterday, and the past weeks." He couldn't bring himself to look at Hailey.

"Well, if this is any consolation… Your life lately wasn't a walk in the park," Hailey shrugged. "If my opinion still matters, and this is a honest one, I think you handled it okay."

"Thanks."

"Hey, you did sleep well after you put me to bed last night?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah… I guess. Didn't think about it when I woke up," Jay smiled.

"See, small steps," Hailey's eyes were bright when she realised that she got something to cheer Jay up. "And don't play with your food," she scolded, pointing at Jay's plate. He had been poking his toast since they started talking.

"Yes, mum," Jay teased her. He grabbed another cup of much needed coffee after the heavy conversation. "I need to head out shortly, Natalie said Will got the mother of all migraines, she's on morning shift, and Owen is with his grandma. She asked me to check on him sometime today," Jay cringed.

"Poor Will, migraine's the worst," said Hailey.

"Yeah. I'm gonna pick something up on the way, if he can handle food," Jay started washing their plates.

"I can make him some soup," offered Hailey. "You can go home and change, and pick it up later on the way to Will's."

"That sounds good. I'll come by in 30 minutes, is that alright?" asked Jay.

"Sure," Hailey started picking ingredients from her fridge. "Is chicken noodle soup okay?"

"Perfect. Alright, I'll be back later," said Jay. "Thank you, Hailey, for dealing with my shit. I still owe you dinner, after my sessions are finished. Whenever it is, after the demons no longer bother me."

"You'll get there," Hailey squeezed Jay's arm. "Thanks for the breakfast."

"It's your food," Jay laughed, then he left. Something inside him told him that he shouldn't make that a habit, crash on Hailey's couch, and spend the morning with her. However, he couldn't help but admit that he enjoyed it.

* * *

Jay stopped by only for a couple minutes to pick up soup from Hailey's place as she was getting ready to go to her parents' house. Apparently Angie hadn't had enough of Aunt Hailey, and Hailey wanted to play with her other nieces as she no longer wore sling, so she jumped at the chance to meet them at her parents' house. Jay went to Will's place after getting some supplies. According to Natalie's text, Will's migraine had taken turn for the worse, he was unable to keep anything down even though he only had mild sensitivity to light and sound.

Natalie had left the key in the post box, so Jay picked up the key and slipped inside the apartment. The light was dimmed for obvious reason. Jay tip-toed to Will's room, recognising Will's sleeping form underneath the pile of blanket on the bed. He sat on the chair beside the bed, obviously left there by Natalie. There's also a lined trashcan on the floor and a glass of water on the bedside table. He felt Will's forehead, which was a bit warm.

"Jay," Will greeted him weakly. "You're okay? With the bombing?" he grabbed Jay's hand.

"Yeah, I'm okay. How are you feeling?"

"Like death warmed over me," Will moaned in misery. Jay grabbed a wet towel from the bathroom and put it on Will's forehead. "Really? You did okay yesterday?" Will looked at him, wincing when the light from the bathroom hit his eyes. Jay rushed to the bathroom to turn it off.

"Not really. I had panic attack," Jay avoided his eyes. "I'm tired, Will. The therapy sessions did nothing so far," his defence fell apart. He remembered what Hailey said about opening up to Will.

"Sorry to hear that," Will pulled him close, rubbing his shoulder. "It's a work in progress, be patient."

"I know," Jay sighed. It's comforting to hear the same thing from Will.

"Thanks for keeping Owen safe," said Will.

"I didn't do anything. It was Hailey, she was with them."

"How's she doing? Nat said she got hurt?"

"Yeah, she hit her head. Nothing too serious, no stitches, but there was a lot of blood," said Jay.

"How was babysitting, then?"

"Owen and Angie kept my panic attack away. It was inevitable, but by having them with me in the precinct, I even fell asleep unknowingly, woke up peacefully," Jay smiled triumphantly. Upon Will's perplexed look, he continued, "I got panic attack later after we left the district."

"Hailey was with you?" Will hoped for a yes. The attack itself is bad, moreover Jay going through it by himself. Jay nodded. "It's good. I don't want you to be alone."

"I don't want her seeing me like that," Jay's voice was full of sorrow. "I'm not a needy partner; I don't want to rely on her."

"Cut that thought," Will suddenly stood and ran to the bathroom. He closed the door before Jay got the time to react. He heard Will retched. Sighing, he went to the bathroom. Will was on his knees, bringing up what was likely to be either his breakfast or dinner, or even yesterday's lunch or the previous night's dinner, eaten during his night shift. Jay cringed. He sat on the bathtub and started to rub Will's back, feeling Will's muscles clench with each retch. When the retches turned into dry heaves, Jay grabbed a towel and wet it. He gave it to Will to wipe his face.

"Are you done?" asked Jay. He felt Will shivered. He flushed the toilet. Will leaned on his leg.

"Don't move me," warned Will, holding his head.

"You wanna stay here until you're settled?" asked Jay. Upon the slightest nod, he pushed the tip of a glass to Will's lips. After he was certain Will won't move, he slid down to sit beside Will, and pulled Will to lean on his shoulder. Will swiftly changed his position so his face was buried in Jay's lap. Jay put the wet towel on the back of Will's neck and started rubbing his back and massaging his head alternately. They stayed on that position in the dark bathroom for some time until Will stirred.

"The nausea is gone for now. Thanks Jay," whispered Will hoarsely. Jay stood up and pulled Will standing, guiding him back to the bed. He massaged Will's head and dabbed wet towel on his forehead. In high school, Will often got migraine, especially since he was under pressure to earn good marks to enter med school. Jay found himself doing this often, sometimes throughout the night. He sometimes wondered whether Will got migraine in med school and whether he got any help, but he was in the Army and they weren't the best at keeping in touch.

Will finally felt like his head wasn't going to explode. He couldn't sleep during a migraine, but he was very tired. Jay realised that Will was no longer in pain.

"Try to sleep," whispered Jay. Will took the towel off his face and turned his body, snuggling to a pillow. Jay ran his hand on Will's back, soothing him, hoping Will could catch some sleep.

* * *

Jay woke up to a weight on his head. He felt around and touched something warm. Apparently he fell asleep with his head on Will's bed. He stirred and looked at Will, who had his eyes closed, but must have sensed his movement.

"You're not needy, Jay. I'm sure Hailey doesn't think so," Will stated calmly. "You think so low of yourself," chastised Will. Jay wasn't ready to respond, so he let Will pet his head. Both drifted to sleep shortly after, both of them was comforted by Will's action.

* * *

"What I mean, Jay, is that Hailey doesn't mind being there for you through panic attacks, nightmares. She won't think you're being needy. She's a friend, a very good one, isn't she?" said Will the next time both of them was awake.

"The best," Jay agreed.

"I'm just gonna say this once, okay. I know you both are past being just partners, you are friends. But don't lead her on, however you feel about her. I'm saying this not only as your brother, but moreover, as her friend. She's a good person, don't hurt her."

Jay gaped at the way Will said it so casually. Did his brother just act more like Hailey's brother than his? Is that how fond of Hailey he was?

"I won't. You have my word," said Jay. "I'm not into dating right now, Will. You know that. She knows that. She's a friend, a very good one. She has seen the worst of me, the demons and all. But romantically, nah. She deserves a whole man, not a broken one like me."

"If you say so. Just know that, for me, for _her_, you're not undeserving of what's less than the best," said Will, too tired to smack Jay in the head and beat some sense into him.

"Thanks," said Jay. He looked at the time. It was past noon. "You wanna try eating? Hailey made you some soup."

"You crashed at her place again?" Will's tone—although weak—was judging.

"I had a panic attack, Will. And some alcohol. I crashed on the couch. It's not like we're sleeping together."

"I know," said Will. "Sorry, just… I don't want you and her to get hurt. After Erin, you… yeah. And, again, don't hurt her."

"We won't. She's different. I'm different now," Jay convinced Will. "So, lunch?"

"I don't really want to, but as a doctor I know I have to," Will reasoned. Jay smirked and went to the kitchen to heat the soup. When he came back with a bowl of soup, Will was not on the bed. He sighed and went to the closed bathroom door, the soup forgotten on the bedside table.

"You okay in there?"

Silence. "No," a weak voice was heard from behind the door. Will's voice was hoarse, a clear sign that he had been sick.

"I'm coming in," announced Jay, opening the door slightly to assess the situation. The bathroom was dark, the only source of light was the door. Will was curled up horizontally on the floor. Jay went back to the bed to grab a blanket, knowing that they were likely to spend some time on the bathroom floor. He flushed the toilet, grabbed a wet towel, and wiped Will's face.

"Are you gonna be sick again?" asked Jay, rubbing Will's back. Will didn't answer, only held his head and scrunched up his face. Jay threw the blanket over him and slide below him, resting Will's head on his lap, feeling Will crying from the pain. He started massaging Will's head and neck until he was relaxed. He'd do anything to take the pain off his brother.

"Hey, Will, are you asleep?" Jay poked Will's shoulder after a while Will's cry died down. Will opened his eyes, pain was clear on his face. He lurched for the toilet and dry heaved. He was past the point of actually bringing anything up. Jay held his body so he wouldn't topple over.

"You are going to lie down on your bed, and have something to drink. You're dehydrated," said Jay once the heaving subsided. Will didn't bother to resist when Jay pulled him up and slung his arm over Jay's shoulder, effectively half-carrying him.

"Get ice cubes," ordered Will weakly once he was tucked in the bed. Jay went to the kitchen and grabbed two pieces of ice cubes. He slipped one to Will's mouth, watching as Will sipped it until it's gone. As he slipped the second ice cube, he massaged Will's head.

"On 1-10 scale, how is the pain?" asked Jay.

"Eight," said Will.

"I'm not a doctor, but I'm gonna say you're dehydrated," said Jay. He went to the kitchen to get more ice cubes. He continued to feed Will ice cubes and massaged his head. Will was in-and-out of sleep, he didn't have a good sleep last night. After a while, he grabbed Jay's hand.

"The nausea is mostly gone, I think I can manage a tiny bit of food," said Will. Jay helped him up, stuffing pillows behind Will's back to keep him upright.

"Do you want the soup hot or is this okay?" Jay put the bowl on Will's hand.

"It's okay," Will started eating tentatively. His lunch and dinner yesterday went back up his system, and he didn't even bother having breakfast since he couldn't keep anything down. "Tell Hailey thanks. It's good. No wonder you crashed there all the time."

"Drop it, Will, okay?" Jay slapped Will's leg.

"Out of curiousity, you got nightmare last night?" asked Will.

"No… no, I didn't. That's why I called you after therapy. I need someone to talk to me until I'm asleep," said Jay. He knew Will's next question, so he added, "Hailey sat beside me until I was asleep, that way I didn't get nightmare."

"Be careful, Jay. Really. I'm glad you had help, but you're playing into dangerous territory here," warned Will.

"It's different, Will. It was different than my relationship with Erin. We started with affection, we flirted a lot, and it blossomed from there. Me and Hailey, we're friends. That's it. Even if someday we become more than friends, which I don't intend to pursue at the moment, we would be at different place. For now, drop it, I'm serious. I don't want anything to change," Jay's tone shut Will up.

"Okay."

* * *

"How's your head?" asked Jay when Will exited his room. Jay was having lunch while watching TV. Will was noticeably better, so he left him on his own and had the leftover soup from Hailey. She made enough for four portions, so Jay spared some for Will's dinner.

"Been better, but this is the first time I've been this vertical since yesterday," said Will, hobbled to the couch. Jay grabbed his hand and helped him.

"Don't push yourself too much," Jay dimmed the light in the living area and turned off the TV.

"I'm mostly tired since I didn't sleep well and my head hurt. Not to mention, malnourished," Will laid on the couch.

"Still nauseous?" asked Jay.

"No." Will looked nervous, like he wanted to say something, but held back. Jay thought that Will wanted to nag him about Hailey again, so he ignored Will.

"Nat and I talked—more like argued—about the wedding, we'll have it in December," Will started a conversation.

"Yeah?"

"You'll be my best man, right?" asked Will. Now he had Jay's attention.

"Me?"

"Who else would I want to be my best man, Jay?" Will clapped him on the shoulder, looking nervous. "So, what do you think?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Jay's smile spread on his face. "I was about to be jealous of Rhodes," he joked.

"Yeah, right," Will rolled his eyes. "Really?"

"With how I treated you these past weeks, I'm not sure," said Jay. He looked down. "I shut you down."

"It doesn't matter. The point is I don't shut you down," said Will. Jay looked at him. "I understand why you shut me down. I know there's no turning back time, but I'm really sorry I wasn't there when you struggled. I will always be there, for everything," Will looked down, his eyes showed remorse, guilt, and other emotions Jay only saw briefly before. Hailey's words dawned on him. For the first time ever, his resentment evaporated, replaced with guilt for causing pain for Will. He didn't realise that years after they patched up their relationship, he still held some resentment towards Will.

"I'm sorry Will, I know I should look past that and move forward like we talked about. I trust you, really. You're my only family left. That wasn't why I shut you down. I didn't want to cause you anymore trouble. You took charge of everything, the last thing I wanted was to burden you with my shit." The stitches on the cushions suddenly looked very interesting for Jay. "I don't want you to pity me. You have everything I wanted; you were on good term with dad, you're gonna get married with mum's ring. None of those I have, how can you understand me?" whispered Jay before he could stop himself. Will gaped.

"I would never," spat Will. He stood up, stumbled when he tried to remain standing. Jay helped him up, but Will flinched upon contact. "I didn't realise you were… jealous?" He walked back and forth across the apartment. Jay couldn't believe that he voiced his jealousy to Will. They both stood across each other, gaping awkwardly.

"I'm going on a walk," announced Will.

"No, you're sick. I'll go," offered Jay. "Please, call me when you think we should talk," he pleaded, his voice wavered. He bit his lip when closing the door, stopping himself from crying. One minute he was his brother's best man, the next minute they weren't talking again.

* * *

_Is that too much angst in one chapter? Don't worry, it will be resolved soon! This story turns out longer then I expected. I expected to write 4-5 chapters, but got carried away... I hope you don't mind! Also, according to 6x06 Hailey's father used to beat the family. I'm gonna go with 4x21 version in which she said she was so worried when he got robbed. That line (from Hailey to Trudy) sold Hailey Upton to me, it was so genuine that in my mind, the Uptons are tight and Hailey are close with her family._

_PS: Noticed some writers wrote about Upstead for the first time :) we need all hands on deck to survive hiatus. _


	16. Chapter 16

Aside from Pat Halstead's memorial night which was celebrated by closest family and friends, on which Jay and Will only interacted briefly, there was nothing interesting during the week. To Jay's disappointment, Will had not initiated the talk, and he intended to give Will as much space as needed. He struggled with his demons, with his own thought that he had lost Will once again, and got consumed with Will's words to be careful about his friendship with Hailey. Thankfully the case was relatively easy, family feud about drugs which ended in homicide. Hailey was back on the field. On the first raid, Jay looked at her uneasily.

"Be careful. Remember, bubble wrap," whispered Jay. Hailey rolled her eyes, but smiled.

"You too," she brushed her arm on Jay's back. She knew Jay had trouble sleeping, and the therapy session isn't an instant remedy. Hailey asked him about his session, to which he gave concise answer. He wanted to quit, but he knew he needed to do it. He didn't want to disappoint Hailey, and Will, if that still matters for him. He gave nothing more than a sad smile when she asked whether he's been sleeping well. She got it. She wanted to help, she tried to call him at night, recalling that he said it helped to talk about something else, but he didn't answer. Since the only time Jay didn't pick up her call was when he was apparently involved with Camilla, she felt uneasy. She talked herself out of doing more effort to reach out to him. _If he needed help, he would ask_, she reasoned. She watched Jay's back when he walked away.

"Is he okay?" asked Antonio, concerned.

"I don't know," Hailey prepared her gun. She cleared her mind, preparing for the raid.

* * *

One of the suspects was injured, and Hailey and Voight went to Med to get his statement. They waited near the nurse station when Dr. Rhodes treated him, and Will went past them.

"Sergeant Voight, Hailey," he greeted them.

"Will. You good?" asked Hailey. Will frowned, then realised that she asked about his migraine.

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks for the soup, it was really good. I heard you got hurt in the bombing, thanks for saving Owen," said Will. Hailey still had a bandage on her head, but tapes on her shoulder were gone.

"It's nothing," Hailey smiled. Will looked at Rhodes, then at the suspect, and finally spoke to Voight.

"Do you mind if I borrow her for a minute, Sergeant?" asked Will. Voight nodded, allowing him to. Hailey followed him. "How's Jay?"

"What do you mean?" Hailey was taken aback with Will's question.

"I… we had a fight," said Will. "I'm worried about him."

"Yeah, me too," said Hailey, her face conveyed worry over her partner. Voight called her. "Later, Will," she patted Will's arm, and went to the suspect's room.

* * *

"Hey, I saw Jay today," said Natalie when she entered the apartment. Will was playing with Owen. She smiled, kissing both his son and his fiancé, and grabbed a plate. Will had cooked dinner, and she couldn't be more thankful for a spouse who cooks. She plopped on the couch, facing pile of wedding invitation samples.

"Really? Where?" asked Will. He couldn't shrug off Hailey's worried face from his mind.

"In the hospital's parking lot. I thought he was waiting for you, so I told him you're not on shift until tomorrow," said Natalie. She knew there was something off with the brothers in the memorial service, but she wisely stayed out of it. After Jay blatantly shut her down, she understood that it would take time and effort for the younger, more stubborn Halstead to open up to her. Who was she kidding, Will is already stubborn, and he was the lesser of the two. She wondered how patient of a person her late mother-in-law-to-be was.

"Oh," Will sighed. There's no easy way to explain to Jay. He didn't have real reason to be angry at Jay, but he was disturbed that Jay was jealous at him.

"Will, talk to him," scolded Natalie. "I don't know what's going on, neither do I wanna know, but be a bigger person. Go, find out what's wrong with him."

"Wrong?"

"He looked like a zombie. A stark contrast to when I met him in the district, he looked content," Natalie poked Owen, playfully taking his toy.

"Alright, I'll go check on him," said Will, not looking forward to the conversation that was about to take place.

Will stopped on the way to grab some beer and food. They need it if they were about to have a heart to heart. He could tell it would be heavy, heavier than the talk they had when he was sick. However, it might be a push for them to head in the right direction to repair their brotherly relationship, once and for all.

He knocked on Jay's door after hesitating for a bit. He didn't know how he would start the conversation, or even what they were going to talk about. Come to think of it, he didn't even know why he walked out of Jay or whether he was angry. He just wasn't ready to continue the conversation.

Not hearing answer made him worried since Jay's truck is parked outside. He opened the door with his key, fully prepared to see a certain blonde detective in the apartment. He was grateful for Hailey's presence for Jay, even though he was wary of the implied nature of the relationship. However, he was not prepared for the sight in front of him.

Jay was lying across the couch, his face was pale and the place reeked of alcohol. Bottles of beer were scattered on the table, some on the floor. Jay didn't seem to be aware that Will had entered his apartment, which worried him. Will heard a soft gasp beside her. Hailey was there, her face paling seeing Jay.

"Oh gosh," gasped Hailey. Will's doctor instinct took over and he rushed inside to feel Jay's pulse. He nodded to Hailey when he felt one. "Thank God," she was about to cry. She went forward to feel the pulse herself. Will quickly remembered her story about an overdosed partner, and went to calm her down.

"It's okay," he patted her on the back. "Why are you here?"

"There's a case, he didn't pick up his phone," squeaked Hailey. Tears sprang from her eyes.

"Go, make an excuse to Voight. Just say he came down with something and I'm here. I'll let you know how he's doing," said Will. Hailey still looked at Jay as if he was a ghost. "Hailey, go! I'll take care of him!" Will snapped, pulling Hailey out of her thought.

"Alright," Hailey rushed outside. Will tapped Jay's cheek, checked Jay's pulse, temperature, and breathing. Jay opened his eyes. He went into defence mode, pulling Will and placing him into a chokehold.

"Jay!" Will was desperate, he dig his elbow into Jay's thigh. "Jay, it's me! It's Will!"

"Will?" Jay realised his surroundings, then released his hold on Will. Will gasped, trying to catch his breathe. Will was grateful it wasn't Hailey whom Jay attacked. Jay would never forgive himself if he attacked Hailey.

"Yes, it's me. You're safe, you're in your apartment," Will soothed him. He thought Jay was going to get a panic attack, so he was completely surprised when Jay cried. He grabbed Will's shirt and held on like his life depended on it.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay. How many drinks did you have?" asked Will.

"I don't know," Jay managed to answer between his sobs. Will sat him up and pulled him into a bear hug, burying Jay's face into his chest. His memory floated to nearly thirty years ago, when he was five and Jay was three, when Jay fell from a swing. Jay had refused to let him go, crying on him until he fell asleep. This time, the source of pain was more complicated than a swing. They had hell of a tangled problem to solve. He rocked Jay back and forth. As much as Will wanted to know the cause behind the tears, it was more important to be there for him.

"Hey, Jay, you think you're up for a drink? I need you to drink some water," whispered Will once the sobs died down. Jay's hand was still grasping his shirt and he hadn't pulled away from Will. Jay silently shook his head, so Will waited. His own tears fell realising how broken Jay was.

"Wake up, Jay," Will tapped Jay's cheek when he saw his brother's eyes fluttered close.

"Will?" asked Jay.

"Yeah. You need anything?" asked Will softly. He brushed his hand against Jay's temple. Assessing the situation, he was relieved that Jay didn't get alcohol poisoning, at least, no obvious symptoms. Jay shook his head, still not moving.

"Alright," Will sank into the couch. If Jay wasn't peeling himself off him, he'd wait. He pulled Jay close and waited.

* * *

"Will?" Jay called. Will looked down and saw dark green eyes looking at him. They had been sitting on the couch for over an hour now. Will woke Jay up every time his eyes were closed, still wary because he had no idea how many beers Jay just had.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," Jay looked at his feet.

"It's okay," said Will.

"I didn't mean to say that, it came out wrong," said Jay. "I'm happy for you, I really do. It's just…"

"You didn't say anything when I asked for the ring," Will sighed. "I thought… I mean, you weren't gonna propose to anyone at that moment, and I…" Will grabbed a bottle of water and gave it to Jay who greedily downed the water. "Slowly," warned Will.

"I get it, Will. It's okay. I know. It came out wrong, I'm sorry," Jay looked down, embarrassed.

"I don't want dad's approval of what I'm doing, and one stupid ring, to put distance between us. I've had enough being estranged from you," said Will.

"It won't. We're good. And don't let Nat hear you said that."

"She won't care. She doesn't want to have a big wedding, because she had one before."

"Point is, Will, I was angry. At life, not at you. Life happened, and you happened to get the better outcome than me. Which is totally fine, but I need time to accept that. I didn't forgive dad until his death, my fault. And I wasn't angry at you or at Natalie. Last time I held on to the ring, Erin left without goodbye. But when you have it, you get a fiancée. Life isn't fair, and I was angry at that," said Jay.

"How can I help you to deal with that?" asked Will. He took his phone to text Hailey.

"Nothing. It's my problem to begin with, I'm dealing with that," said Jay. Will looked at him disapprovingly. "I know you wanna help, but I want to deal with this on my own. I asked the therapist for help," said Jay.

"Alright. Tell me if you need anything," Will scooted over to hug Jay. "You know I'm really proud of you, don't you?" He ruffled Jay's hair affectionately. Jay nodded against his shoulder. "Come again, how many did you drink?" Will frowned, looking around the place.

"I don't know. I cracked open two or three, or four? I think," said Jay.

"We thought you had alcohol poisoning, lying dead there around beer bottles. You really had us worried," said Will, didn't realise the slip of his tongue.

"We?"

"Hailey and I. I just opened the door when she arrived. There's a case, she came to pick you up. She left, telling Voight that you came down with something," said Will, left out the part where she paled and nearly cried.

"She saw me like that," deducted Jay.

"Uh-huh," said Will. "Passed out around beer bottles. She was worried."

"I wasn't passed out, I was asleep. Haven't been sleeping well… I didn't throw away yesterday's bottles. Or the previous days'," said Jay. Will was now picking up bottles and cleaning the place. Jay looked at his phone; his eyes widened when he realised that Antonio called him, and Hailey called him multiple times.

"Don't even think about going to the field today. You can't drive, and besides, Hailey already told Voight that you were sick. Better live up to the story," said Will. He sat on the couch. "Open the window tomorrow, this place smells like a brewery." Jay didn't answer, but stumbled to the bathroom. When he came back, his place was somehow the cleanest it's ever been on the week. He played a movie on Netflix and dimmed the light. Will texted Natalie, telling her that he most likely would stay over.

"Come here," Will pulled Jay towards him when he realised Jay was nodding off. Jay used Will's thigh as a pillow. Will ran his hand through Jay's hair while still watching TV. Jay fell asleep within minutes. Will turned off the TV and pulled a blanket from behind the couch and put it over Jay. He had a double shift the next day; he needed all the sleep he could get.

* * *

_I hesitated about this chapter because I'm not satisfied with it. It's too OOC in my opinion, but wanted to write some fluff. Next chapter will be better, promise! _


	17. Chapter 17

_I hate the last chapter I posted, so this is the new chapter. I like this one much better because we get to see some actions, and the characters are back to normal :) _

* * *

Jay woke up to an alarm. He jolted awake, frowned when he realised that he was not in his room and his pillow moved on its own.

"Sorry," he heard a hoarse voice, and the alarm was off. He looked around and realised that he was asleep on his couch, on Will. He fell back to rest his head on Will's lap, yawning.

"What time is it?" he asked, holding his head. His head hurts, likely from the amount of alcohol he had. He woke up like this for a couple days, so it was nothing new.

"6 am. Sorry, go back to sleep. My shift is at 7. I'll make breakfast," Will slipped out from under Jay, slipping a pillow to replace his thigh. He took a quick shower and started breakfast. Jay needed one since he must have a hangover.

"What did you make?" asked Jay as he went to the kitchen. Will already started eating and having coffee. Jay's place is by no means near to the hospital.

"Breakfast taco, I put in cheese and ham," Will pointed at Jay's plate.

"I have tortilla and ham?" questioned Jay. He doesn't cook on a regular basis, especially lately when life had been throwing punches at him. Jay poured a coffee for himself.

"I brought it, thought I'd cook as a peace offering," Will smirked.

"Your cooking is good, Will, but not that good that if I was mad at you, I would forgive you. It'd be the drunken noodle from Thai place near your apartment," jabbed Jay.

"Noted. You working?"

"Hailey said she told Voight I got food poisoning. I'll come in, tell him that it passed. You vouch for me if this ever comes up?" Jay smirked.

"Yeah, tell Voight I was here all night. Not a lie," said Will. He picked up his toast and put the plate in the sink. "I have to go, I'm already late. Have a Tylenol or two, and take a shower. Voight will smell the booze."

"Thanks, Will," Jay simply said, but his eyes conveyed gratitude, love, and… embarrassment? Will smiled.

"Nothing you wouldn't do for me if the roles were reversed," he patted Jay's shoulder and left. He came back two seconds later, grabbing a foil-covered taco from the kitchen counter. "Nat's breakfast," he grinned, and flew out the door.

* * *

"You're doing okay?" asked Hailey when he hopped the stairs to Intelligence. Jay knew she knew; she did lie to Voight for him. But they were in the precinct, around their team.

"Yeah, it passed," he nodded.

"You know we'll be okay one man down if you're not feeling hot," Hailey frowned. Jay couldn't tell if she was really worried about him or whether that was an act because everyone in the room must be aware he got sick last night.

"I'm alright," Jay shrugged. Hailey seemed not convinced, so he continued, "courtesy of Dr. Halstead. He stayed last night."

"Alright. You two, stakeout at Henry DaRoyce's house. Hailey, fill him in," said Voight. They nodded, went to the stakeout car. They stopped to get coffee. Jay bought her a muffin; she lied to Voight for him yesterday. Hailey smiled, her eyes twinkling as she bit into the muffin.

"You're just gonna pretend that you weren't at my place last night?" asked Jay after it was clear Hailey wasn't gonna talk about it.

"Not now, Jay," said Hailey.

"What?"

"I don't want to talk about it now," Hailey looked through her lens.

"Are you mad?" asked Jay.

"No, I'm not, it just isn't the place and time to talk about it," said Hailey. "There he is," she grabbed a camera, cutting their conversation short.

They didn't have time to talk about it, because next thing they knew, they were raiding a stash house. Jay kept one eye on Hailey. Last thing he wanted was her getting hurt again.

The raid ended as quickly as it started, and they were back at the precinct trying to get the suspects to flip on their distributor. Antonio went into one interrogation room while Voight and Kim were on the other one. Hailey went into the room Antonio was in when the suspect didn't budge.

"It's over. He talked," Hailey spoke to Antonio. Antonio shrugged.

"Wait, talked what? He promised he wouldn't say anything!" the suspect asked.

"Well, don't you wanna know. He told us," said Hailey.

"He told you about Henry? Man, he's not gonna be happy, he planned to go to Iowa already," the suspect sneered.

"Gotcha," Adam, who watched the interrogation from the behind the glass with Jay, let out a triumphant laugh. "How smart is that."

"And you're going down because you gave us nothing!" Hailey threatened the suspect. In a second, he flipped, told them everything they needed to know. Hailey and Antonio high-fived when they exited the interrogation room.

"Good job," said Voight, who met them at the hallway. "Let's go to the airport."

They went to the airport. Hailey and Jay sat at Starbucks near Henry's gate is, and waited for him to appear.

"There he is," Jay spoke into his intercom. He pretended to take a picture of Hailey who sat with Henry to her back. Henry walked to them, clearly sensing something isn't right. Jay looked at Hailey, and through silent conversation, he knew Hailey knew what's going on.

"Excuse me, is this the gate going to Iowa?" asked Henry at Jay.

"I don't know, we're going to Seattle," Jay pointed at the next gate. "It should be written there on the screen."

"You want more sugar?" asked Hailey, finding a reason to walk from the table to approach him from behind. Jay could see Antonio approaching behind Henry. Henry was wearing a jacket, so he might be carrying a weapon.

"No, I'm good," said Jay. The moment Hailey stood, Henry grabbed her and pointed a gun to her.

"Back off or I'll shoot her," Henry said to Antonio and Adam who were behind him. Hailey looked at Jay, he looked terrified. Strangely, she felt calm. This wasn't the first time she had a gun pointed at her, and sadly, wouldn't be the last one. She nodded to Jay, who shook his head slightly. She only asked for Jay's consent in this one, because she knew she would be able to get this done without getting anyone injured.

Jay couldn't believe it. He really would bubble wrap Hailey after this. For someone with a gun to her head, Hailey was remarkably calm, even able to calm him down a little. She was about to do something, he knew. He _just_ knew. They made eye contact and she looked down, glanced at around Jay's torso. _Gun_. Jay understood that she needed backup. Jay prayed quickly and prepared himself. Around them, Antonio and Adam waited, tried to open conversation, but they had been in the unit long enough to know that Hailey was about to do something. Voight was further back, didn't want to crowd the scene. Henry hadn't felt Hailey's gun, which was concealed by her jacket, so she only had a little time before he did.

"You, you're gonna blame these cops when I blow your lady's head!" Henry threatened to Jay. Hailey nodded, very slightly, but enough for Jay to grab his gun while Hailey stomped on Henry's feet, pointed the gun away from her and the crowd, forced him to drop the gun, and threw him over her head near Jay's feet. Jay pointed his gun at him, followed by Antonio and Adam.

"Chicago PD. You're under arrest for drugs possession, distribution, being accessory of murder, and your little act just now," smirked Hailey. Jay exhaled the breath he unknowingly had been holding. As Antonio moved to cuff Henry and Adam secured the gun, Jay gripped Hailey's arm.

"You're okay?" he asked quickly.

"Yeah, she is," smirked Adam, finding Hailey's act arousing. Jay shut him down by throwing murderous look at him.

"Yeah," said Hailey, holstering her gun. Few people around them clapped and whistled at her. Hailey smiled awkwardly. Hailey sighed and grabbed her coffee. "I'm gonna need something stronger than this," she said. Voight who came to them smiled.

"Tequila is on me. Good move, Hailey," Voight smiled proudly.

"Thanks Sarge," Hailey said. As they walked away, she tried her recently injured shoulder. She threw the suspect using her good shoulder, but just for precaution, she tried moving her arm. It didn't hurt at all. She waited for Jay to catch up with her. They were heading back to the district to interrogate Henry and write reports.

"You okay?" asked Hailey once they were out of hearing range of everyone else.

"Yeah," said Jay. Hailey wasn't convinced, but she didn't want to make a scene. Once they were in the car, she faced Jay.

"Talk," she ordered.

"It's the adrenaline," said Jay. He pulled Hailey close and gave her a side hug. "I'm glad everything is okay."

"Except you. We've been there before, you know."

"Yeah, except the fact that you got three injuries in a row lately. If he blew your head for real, I'm…" Jay's voice broke. "Point is, I wasn't ready."

"I wasn't ready either. Jay, don't treat me like a porcelain doll," Hailey grabbed his arm. "I'm touched to know that my safety means a lot for you, and same goes to you by the way, but your face when I was there wasn't the face of a cop who knows that his partner is capable. And I know you weren't acting," said Hailey.

"Guess I let my instinct as a friend took over my cop instinct, sorry," said Jay.

"Are we good?" asked Hailey. "As partners, are we good?"

"Yeah, we are," said Jay, then starting the car.

* * *

When they arrived in the district, Antonio and Voight were drawing confession from Henry. Jay, Hailey, Kim, Kevin, and Adam started writing reports and had dinner. Hailey was nearly done and Jay was halfway through when Voight walked to his office.

"He flipped. Go home." Everyone let out a relieved sigh. It was a little before 8 pm, perfect time for a hangout at Molly's. "Here, as promised. Your first drink on me today," Voight put a glass in front of Hailey.

"Cheers," said Hailey, then gulped the tequila. The liquor burned her throat, exactly what she needed after a long day.

"Molly's?" asked Kevin.

"I'm five minutes away from finish. I'll meet you guys there," said Hailey. The rest of them rolled their eyes or groaned, they know Hailey's habit of finishing reports early.

"I'll take a raincheck," said Jay. He nodded to Hailey, "a word?" he whispered. Hailey followed him to the break room.

"Will and I didn't speak since weekend. I accidentally said something unpleasant. I overthought, I, I think, and my release was booze. I had beer every night, sometimes two, three… four, didn't throw away the bottles," Jay looked sheepish. "Cue to yesterday, when you and Will found me. I wasn't passed out, I was sleeping. I didn't sleep well, the nightmares are at peak. I don't know how worried you were, but you must be worried at some point. Sorry," said Jay.

"Ask for help, Jay. I'm here. So is Will," said Hailey.

"Thanks, but… as the therapist said, the more often I deal with this on my own, it would make my mind remember what to do, and eventually, do it on reflex," said Jay. Hailey squeezed his arm, nodded to send him out, then finished her report. She went to Molly's and joined the team. It's been a while for her since she last joined them, because of the injuries she had. They were joined by some CFD members and took turn to let out some steam on the karaoke machine.

"Hey!" Sylvie Brett sat by her when Antonio was singing some Michael Jackson. Hailey smirked. She heard before she joined, Antonio and Sylvie were together briefly.

"Hey!" Hailey yelled over the noise.

"Saw your partner at the bombing scene. Heard he called it in," said Sylvie. "I thought he got injured, he was pale, like just lost a pint of blood. I asked him whether you were there, he said you weren't."

"I was there, but I wasn't on call and on desk duty, and I couldn't respond because… yeah, I had other things," said Hailey.

"I know. You had family member with you. Is Halstead doing okay?" asked Sylvie.

"What do you mean?"

"He went to the truck to sit down for a while. It wasn't a hot day, but he was sweating a lot," said Sylvie.

"Uh, yeah, just a reaction. We had a hell of a case the week before, probably not enough sleeping," said Hailey.

"Right, it's nothing then," said Sylvie. She yelled and clapped when Antonio was done. Hailey laughed when Antonio dragged a confused looking Cruz to the the stage. She missed this, having fun with the team and, basically, the front-liners of Chicago.

* * *

On the weekend, finally Will and Jay got time to clean up their father's apartment. They arrived early in the morning. Jay passed Will a cup of coffee.

"Thanks. Hey… tell me if you want to call it a day," said Will, anticipating Jay's reaction.

"Okay," Jay went to open a drawer in the living room.

"Is everything okay?" asked Will.

"Yeah. Had therapy last night, I'm a bit tired," said Jay.

"Slept well?" asked Will.

"Surprisingly, yeah. I watched TV until I fell asleep, though, but I don't need to be coddled anymore. The more I talk about it, apparently… I'm dealing with it," Jay smiled triumphantly.

"Good," said Will. They started cleaning the apartment, from the living room and moving to the bedroom. Jay had been avoiding cleaning the drawer in which he found his photos; he wasn't ready. Will opened the drawer and put the photos and articles in the box which Jay would take.

"You wanna take these?" Will waved the photos. "Yeah, you want to." Jay didn't respond, he had trouble processing all these. A month earlier, he was still fighting with his dad about the apartment, and now… he shook his head.

"May I ask?" asked Jay.

"You never asked for permission," Will pointed. Jay laughed dryly.

"How did you take dad's death? Were you really as calm as you showed me?" asked Jay. Will stopped putting things into boxes, he sat on the bed.

"I know… medically, there's nothing more can be done for him. I guess, understanding it from medical point of view helped me. I struggled, Jay, as a family member, I did. Nat talked me through after you got mad at me. I was angry towards the hospital; that drained me too. That night, I didn't sleep, thinking what else could be done. However, as a doctor, I know we did everything," said Will.

"I thought you didn't struggle. Did you become a jerk after taking the news? Anyone became your punching bag?" asked Jay.

"You became a jerk? You were always one, Jay," Will smirked. Jay threw a sock ball to him. "I took off on Ms. Goodwin, about the hospital policy. Yeah, she was my punching bag."

"Smart, lashing at your boss. Lucky you still have a job," Jay laughed, amused.

"She let it pass," Will shrugged. He started cleaning the bedside table. "Hey, Jay…" He trailed off when he opened a thick book.

"What is it?" asked Jay.

"It's…" Will's eyes nearly popped out. It's a diary, full of dates and their names. Apparently Pat Halstead noted when he heard from each son, and where were they at the moment. Jay's name and "Afghanistan" were on a lot of pages, and suddenly it changed to "Chicago", where the dates became further and further apart. Will's pages have "Sudan" and "New York" on it before it became "Chicago" and the dates became closer apart.

"He kept an eye on us," whispered Jay, wiping his tears.

"He did," said Will. "You want to keep it?"

"Yeah… I think so," said Jay.

They were drained by the time they finished. Everything was in boxes, and Will called the moving company to tell them what to do. They sold and donated all the furniture, donated the clothes, and each took home a box filled with photos and memories: Jay's first homerun ball in elementary school; Will's best student award in high school; family photos. It was around 2 pm, both were starving. They decided to eat in a restaurant nearby.

"Jay, isn't that Hailey?" Will asked, pointing at a table across the room. Jay looked over his shoulder. From behind, he was sure that was Hailey. She was with a man who Jay felt familiar with, but couldn't point his finger at.

"Yeah, I think," said Jay, quickly turning back. After Will warned him about not leading Hailey on, he tried to keep his distance. They talked at work as usual, but Jay stopped popping in to Hailey's place as he wished. He came to pick her up in the morning when they carpooled to a crime scene, and dropped her back at home without stopping for a drink. He tried to recognise his pattern: he would be too caught up drinking and talking until naturally he crashed at her couch. If Hailey noticed something different, she didn't point it out, and Jay was relieved. He didn't know how to explain it to her.

"Who's she with?" asked Will.

"I don't know," Jay shrugged, turning his attention back to his food. He cursed when Will smiled and waved. "Damn, Will," he rolled his eyes.

"She turned and saw me," Will said with low voice. Jay turned and waved, and they continued eating. Minutes later, Hailey was at their table.

"Hey, guys," greeted her.

"Hey, Hailey," said Will.

"Didn't expect to see you around here," said Hailey.

"Yeah, we just cleaned our dad's apartment," said Will.

"Ah, right. This is Aaron, he's in Narcotics," said Hailey. "Aaron, this is my partner Jay Halstead and his brother Will." They exchanged handshakes.

"Alright, see you on Monday," Hailey said towards Jay. As they walked out, they watched Aaron put his hand on Hailey's back.

"Wow, that's clearly a date," commented Will.

"Yeah, I think so," said Jay.

"You don't know?" asked Will.

"No, I don't," Jay stole Will's dumpling. Will glared at him, but decided to drop the conversation.

"You're gonna be okay? We just cleaned dad's apartment, something that you've been stressing about," Will asked before they left.

"Who stressed about what?" asked Jay, trying to sound offended. "You were the one who got sick last week."

"Don't lie. I know you," Will countered.

"I am okay, surprisingly. Discovering things was hard, it happened when we first visited. Knowing he kept track of me, I was caught by surprise. But today I knew what to expect, so it wasn't hard," said Jay.

"It's good. Did the therapy help?" asked Will.

"It did. I think, I'm starting to feel the advantage. I got only one nightmare this week, after Hailey was held hostage by the guy we were trying to catch," said Jay.

"Oh yeah? How did it end up?"

"Obviously, well. She was just here," Jay rolled his eyes at the stupid question. "She's a badass, she threw the guy, bigger than me, over her shoulder. Remind me not to get on her bad side?" laughed Jay. Will laughed with him, smiling at how proud Jay was of his partner.

"Alright. Don't ever make her mad," warned Will.

"Not that I plan to," smirked Jay.

* * *

_How is it? Is it better than last chapter? _


	18. Chapter 18

"So… that guy? That Narcotics guy?" asked Jay when they were waiting for his CI to show up. So much for punctuality, he grumbled.

"What about him?"

"Was that a date?" asked Jay frankly.

"Yeah. My friend Amy Rigsby from Narcotics, she just finished a 3-months deep undercover. We caught up last week, and she basically forced me to go on a date with her boss," said Hailey.

"Boss?" Jay was caught off-guard.

"Yeah, her boss in Narcs," said Hailey. A sergeant then, Jay thought.

"And how was it?" asked Jay.

"What? Will I be seeing him again? I don't know," Hailey shrugged. "You sounded like Amy, or my mum, or my brothers," she chastised lightly.

"You said you had no personal life. Of course I'm intrigued, it's not every week you go on a date," said Jay.

"Correction. It's not every week you caught me on a date. Hey, how was cleaning the apartment? How did you hold up?" asked Hailey, changing the subject. She's been meaning to ask when she got home from her date, but Amy called her to ask about the date; she simply forgot.

"Surprisingly well. I didn't get nightmare," said Jay.

"Really? That's good," Hailey smiled. "Is that because of the therapy?"

"I think so, I'm past halfway mark, and the nightmares were reduced. I'm hoping to get rid of the PTSD, last time I put Will in a chokehold," Jay explained.

"See, baby steps," Hailey pat his arm. Jay's mind wandered back to the only nightmare he had the past week.

* * *

_After getting home from the district, he sat on the couch and turned the TV on. His mind wandered back to the airport, when the suspect grabbed Hailey and pointed the gun at her. He shuddered when he thought about how close she got to getting hurt again. And all he did was freeze. He didn't react when she was being held hostage. At a glance, it looked as if he was playing the part of a regular citizen who was scared. However, his fear was real. He fell asleep on the couch with the TV still on. _

_Jay was awoken by a very loud voice from the TV. He gasped, grabbing the couch pillow and felt suffocated. His breathing was rapid and irregular. After trying to contain himself for a while, his breathing evened out and he started to regain sense of his surroundings. The TV was playing a chase scene, where a police shot out two gunners. He had a nightmare again, this time Hailey got shot in the head by the gunman in the airport. He looked for his phone on reflex, wanted to call Hailey, to make sure that was a dream. He was about to press call when he stopped himself. It was 2 am, surely she was asleep, and he didn't want to worry her. Moreover, he remembered what Will said about not relying too much on her. He scrolled through his phone, finding a report she sent after the ordeal, trying to convince himself that it was just a dream. He sighed, turned off the TV, and settled himself for not sleeping. He didn't want another nightmare. _

* * *

"Hey, come back," Hailey slapped him lightly on the arm, bringing him back to the present. "What?" she asked, Jay had been looking at her with a blank expression.

"No, nothing."

"Yeah, right," Hailey rolled her eyes. Jay sighed, knowing he had been caught. Jay just opened his mouth when she cut him. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me."

"It's not that," said Jay.

"Really, as long as you're good, I'm glad," said Hailey. Jay was about to answer when they heard a radio call. Jay frowned.

"That's Denise's apartment," he commented when hearing a radio call about shots fired in an apartment complex. "5021 George, plain clothes officers responding to the shots fired in the apartment," he spoke to the radio. "Let's go."

They went to the apartment and drew their weapons as soon as they exited the elevator. They cleared the floor, and went to the unit with the door open. Jay immediately recognised the studio unit as his CI's. He exchanged looks with Hailey, and opened the door. Hailey went inside, cleared the bathroom. A dead body was on the bedroom floor, a bullet hole was visible on her chest.

"Body, it's Denise," Jay said, checking for pulse then shook his head. It was his CI. It must mean something that she was killed just when they had a meeting schedule. He stomped his feet in frustration.

"5021 Henry, this is plain clothes officer responding to the shooting in the apartment, we have found a body. Repeat, a body was found. Send ambo and assistance now," she barked into the radio. Hailey was about to walk over to Jay when she stopped, snapped her fingers to catch Jay's attention, and put her finger in front of her lips. Her eyes looked around the room.

"You hear that?" she whispered. Jay shook his head. Hailey searched under the bed, and opened the closet. A little girl, no more than 6 years old, squatted in the corner. Her face was wet with tears. Hailey immediately holstered her gun. "Hey, my name is Hailey. What's your name?" she asked.

"Rosie," she answered, sobbing.

"Rosie, you are safe now, I'm gonna take you with me, okay?" asked Hailey.

"Are you good or bad?"

"I'm with the good people. Here," Hailey offered her arms. Rosie went to her and hugged her. "You are safe. Can you close your eyes for me?" Hailey carried her to the bathroom where they couldn't see the body. She sat on the side of the bathtub, Rosie still clinging to her.

"Denise doesn't have a child," said Jay as he went to the bathroom waiting for assistance.

"Rosie, do you live here?" asked Hailey. Rosie shook her head. "Do you know where you live?" asked Hailey. Rosie shook her head again.

"Do you know this person?" Jay showed her picture of Denise. Rosie didn't answer; she looked at Hailey with wide eyes.

"It's okay, he is my friend. His name is Jay," Hailey looked at Rosie.

"That's Denise," said Rosie.

"How do you know Denise?" asked Hailey.

"She looked after me after school. She told me to stay quiet until good people come," said Rosie. Hailey and Jay exchanged looks. Denise was a witness.

"What else did she say?" asked Jay.

"Nothing. Someone on the door, Denise told me to stay, a loud bam, and quiet," said Rosie.

"Did you hear Denise talking to someone?" asked Hailey. Rosie shook her head. Jay went outside and back with a pink backpack.

"Is this yours?" asked Jay. Rosie nodded.

"May we take a look at your bag?" asked Hailey. Rosie nodded. Jay quickly rummaged through the bag. Hailey picked a story book. "Is this yours?"

"Yes. My mum read it to me every day," said Rosie.

"Can you read it for me?" asked Hailey. Rosie recounted the story of Three Little Pigs to Hailey perfectly until assistance arrived.

"Got her school name, her parents are being tracked. Let's bring her to the district," murmured Jay to keep Rosie from hearing him. Hailey nodded, looking down at the little girl.

* * *

Bringing Rosie to the district turned out to be difficult. Because the killer was still in the wind, and they were worried that the killer would see Rosie as she was brought out, they made a plot where Rosie was given a neck brace and being put into an ambo as if someone called 911 for her. In a deserted road, Hailey carried her, covered in CPD jacket, to Jay's car. The moment they went to the precinct, Platt called them.

"The school called. They found her parents. Apparently her name is Mary Rose, but she goes by Rosie. Took a while finding her real name. Her mum is on the way here," said Platt.

"Thanks Sarge," said Hailey.

"Hi, Rosie. My name is Trudy. Your mum is going to pick you up. You can sit with me," Platt went to her and knelt in front of her. Rosie whimpered and hugged Hailey's waist.

"It's okay, Trudy is good," said Hailey. Rosie shook her head.

"Bring her up," said Platt. Hailey sighed and shook her head. "You sat at my desk the whole night, little girl," scolded Platt lightly, both smiling at the reference.

"Alright. I was in high school, though. Come on, Rosie," said Hailey and held Rosie's hand. She buzzed in to Intelligence. "Scene picture out, everyone, sorry," said Hailey. Kim turned the board. Hailey pulled a chair and pointed it to Rosie.

"Can you draw something for me?" asked Hailey, giving Rosie a piece of paper and watercolour pencils from Rosie's bag. "I really like flowers. Can you please draw flowers for me?"

"You babysit often, Hailey?" teased Adam.

"Yeah, you need one, big baby?" retorted Hailey. Kevin and Jay snickered.

"That hurts," commented Kevin.

"Phone record suggested that Denise received a phone call from a burner phone five minutes before 911 call came in. Before that, Jay called her," said Adam.

Hailey ran Denise's bank record and found two suspicious bank transfers in and out at similar amount. Jay went back after running facial recognition from street camera nearby and saw Rosie munching chocolate biscuits. Hailey grinned guiltily; she stole those from Jay's desk.

"I'll buy you one tomorrow," grinned Hailey. Jay rolled his eyes.

"Rosie's mum is here," announced Platt.

"Come on, Rosie," Hailey offered her hand. Rosie grabbed her hand, and followed her downstairs. Jay followed them.

"Thank you, thank you," said Rosie's mum. Rosie immediately latched on to her.

"Mam, Detectives Halstead, Upton. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about Denise?" asked Jay.

"No, of course not. It's unfortunate, oh Rosie," she held Rosie. "Sweetie, can you wait for a bit?," said her. While Jay interviewed her, Hailey kept her company. Rosie hugged her when they were about to leave.

"I didn't know you were a child whisperer," teased Jay when they walked up to Intelligence.

"I have friendly face, unlike you," mocked Hailey. Jay pouted.

* * *

Their investigation revealed that Denise was forced to bait the unit with wrong information to trap them. Denise agreed at the beginning, only to bail at the last second and transferred the money back. She was killed because she was unwilling to cooperate. It turned out she set up the meeting with Jay to trap him in the first place. She didn't intend to come after bailing on the people who forced her. The mastermind was in the run. Voight sent them home for the night, and Hailey was wrapping up her partial report when her phone rang.

"Upton," she answered.

"Hailey. It's Aaron. You up for some dinner?" asked Aaron. Hailey looked at the clock. It was 7 pm. She was about to head home and watch Netflix. Moreover, she hadn't pondered upon their date on the weekend. She hadn't decided whether to go on a second date, that is if he asked.

"I'm just wrapping up," said Hailey, didn't give a definite answer.

"Perfect. Can I pick you up at your district?"

"Um, I drove here. Can we just meet somewhere?" asked Hailey. Jay looked at her with curiosity. He didn't even try to hide the fact that he was eavesdropping. Hailey picked a pen and threw it at Jay while glaring at him.

"You know the Italian Restaurant, Pecorino, at Uptown?"

"Yeah, I know. I'll see you in… 30 minutes?" Hailey hang up after hearing an affirmative answer from the other end. "Jay, you're just as bad as my brothers!" she scolded him for paying attention to her talking on the phone.

"Is it the Narcs guy? Where are you going on a date?" asked Jay.

"Yeah, and he has a name," said Hailey. She turned off her computer. "See you tomorrow. And since you act like my brothers in high school, if you're tailing me, you're a dead man tomorrow," threatened her.

"Your brother did that?" asked Jay.

"Brothers. Plural. I have two, and they tailed me and sat in the next booth. Remember, I threw a guy bigger than you to the floor last week. Just saying," Hailey laughed.

"Just tell me when you get home safely," said Jay.

"What if I don't go home?" Hailey smirked. Jay got caught off guard. "Kidding, dad," she smiled and walked downstairs. "Kev, if Jay asked you to track my phone off the record, tell him he's dead, or else you are," said Hailey as she left. Kevin has two teenage siblings who lived with him until last year, which means he could track a phone off the record in no time.

"What was that about?" asked Kevin.

"You heard her," Jay grinned.

"Man, I don't dare," said Kevin.

"Yeah, me too. I'm heading out. Don't track her," Jay laughed as he left the district. He went to the therapist's office. Around 10 pm, right after he got home, he got a message from Hailey: _"Dad, I'm home. Don't track my phone."_ He snickered at the way Hailey teased him, but still texted him.

An hour later, he received a message from a CI asking him to meet. He called Hailey.

"Hey, what is it?" asked Hailey directly. He doesn't usually call late, unless they have a case.

"You know my CI Andrew? He asked to meet," said Jay.

"You sure? Denise wanted to meet, and it was a bait. How do we know this is a legit one?" asked Hailey.

"I don't," said Jay.

"Tell him to meet you tomorrow. And you set the place, not him," said Hailey. "I'm sure whatever information he has, it can wait a night."

"Yeah," Jay hesitated.

"I'm serious. Do not meet him without back up. Or better, without me," warned Hailey.

"Okay, I'll tell him," said Jay. "Hey, how was the date?"

"Night, Jay," said Hailey, then hang up.

* * *

"Shoot," said Hailey without even glancing at Jay. Jay had been drilling a hole on the side of her head by staring. "Come on, ask me whatever you want to know." They had been seated at the coffee shop for 15 minutes, waiting on Jay's CI.

"No, I didn't… okay, how was your date?" Jay blushed when he asked that. He isn't usually nosey, but this time he was intrigued to know about Hailey's personal life.

"It was fine," Hailey sighed.

"You don't look happy," said Jay.

"Wow, hitting on the girl without me," a man in mid 20s sat beside Hailey. She smiled. Andrew is Jay's CI. He was a rich kid who went on wrong route in life. He would do anything to avoid jail for doing drugs back then, which made him a perfect CI.

"Hi, Andrew. What do you have?" asked Hailey.

"This," Andrew slipped a piece of paper to Hailey. "I have to go, I'm on the way to practice. Be careful of him," Andrew motioned to Jay. Hailey laughed.

"Hey, what's that mean?" protested Jay, but Andrew was gone quickly. "How come my CI likes you more?"

"I'm a girl?" offered Hailey. "Don't be sour," she passed on Andrew's paper, then checked her phone. "We got a hit on yesterday's case, Denise's killer. Come on."

"Chicago PD!" Hailey kicked the door of the apartment and they barged in, weapon drawn. The apartment was quiet, but Jay noticed the key was hanging on the inside of the door. He pointed that out quietly to Hailey, and they spread out to clear the apartment, being careful because the suspect was somewhere inside. Jay's mind went racing. He remembered last week's scene at the airport and his dream of Hailey getting shot in the head. His paling face didn't slip Hailey's attention, but she brushed it away. They could talk later… if Jay wanted to. They hadn't had their talk in a while. On one side, Hailey was glad because it might mean Jay was getting better. However, she had the feeling that he wasn't completely okay; he just stopped talking to her.

"Put that down!" Jay heard Hailey yelled. He went to the kitchen and saw Hailey and the suspect were pointing their weapons to each other. The suspect pointed his weapon to Jay.

"No," said the suspect, pressing the trigger. Jay threw himself to the side and shot at the same time. Hailey also took a shot. The suspect was on the floor, dead. Hailey pressed her fingers to find his pulse and found none, before making a radio call.

"That was a hell of a shot," she commented while walking towards Jay. Jay was also on the floor, holding his arm. Blood seeped through his fingers. "5021 Henry, roll an ambo to the same location, officer was shot. Shit, Jay!" She panicked. Barely a month ago they were in same situation, Jay was shot and she knelt over him, assessing his wound.

"It's a graze," said Jay. Hailey peeled his hand from his arm and checked his wound. It was a graze, but there was a lot of blood. "It will leave a mark. I will look more badass than I am now."

"Oh, you are a badass now?" teased Hailey. "I'm gonna bubble wrap you," she muttered. She took off her belt and tied it on Jay's arm. She checked Jay's pulse.

"I'm alive."

"Obviously. You're also deadly pale. Try not to pass out," said Hailey, pushing him to lean on a chair. They heard ambulance in the distance. She sat beside him, exhaling a long breath. "When are you gonna stop being shot?" asked Hailey. Jay nudged her with his feet, smirking.

"You know de ja vu feeling?" Hailey said randomly.

"Yeah?"

"That just happened to me. I remembered I hovered over you after you got shot," said Hailey.

"Yeah, sorry," said Jay.

* * *

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Will when Jay and Hailey strolled in. Jay received first aid in the scene, but decided to go to Med with their car. The paramedics reluctantly agreed after making sure Hailey would drive.

"He got shot," said Hailey. Will's eyes widened. Jay pointed at his arm.

"It was a scratch," corrected Jay.

"Detectives, Exam Room 2," said April.

"We're platinum members, Will. Where's the VIP treatment?" asked Jay.

"When I said that, I didn't mean you should pop in once a week," Will rolled his eyes. He started to undo Jay's bandage.

"You're working on my patient, who is your brother. It's a good thing you're you," said Ethan from the curtain.

"Relax, I just wanted to take off the bandage to see the wound," said Will.

"Scratch, it's a scratch," said Jay.

"Do you have any allergies?" asked Ethan.

"No," answered Will.

"Go on, I'm not here," Jay said sarcastically. Hailey snickered. "Upton," she went outside to talk on the phone while Ethan got ready to suture Jay's wound.

"The suspect's phone record came back, he was the one who blackmailed Denise. And footage shows his car just outside Denise's apartment just before we came in," said Hailey. Jay nodded.

"I'll grab your clean clothes from the truck," said Hailey. Jay's shirt was torn by the bullet. When she came back with clothes and a cup of coffee, Jay's wound was already sutured. Will and Ethan were talking outside the room. She gave Jay his clean clothes and the coffee.

"Thanks," said Jay. He shrugged out of his shirt and took off his vest before shrugging into the clean shirt. "Let's go."

"Wow wow wow, wait a minute. Dr. Choi, is he free to leave or does he need to stay overnight for observation?" smirked Hailey after opening the curtain.

"Free to go. If you feel pain, have the painkiller," said Ethan.

"Thanks," said Jay and Will simultaneously, then Ethan left.

"I'll drive you home," said Hailey. "Bye, Will."

"Try to not get hurt in a month, you two. How about for a change, we hang out in Molly's and not here," said Will. He patted Jay's shoulder. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?" Jay just nodded and clasped Will's arm.

"I'll hold you to that," said Hailey. Jay followed her to the car. The drive to Jay's place was silent. When they arrived, Hailey faced Jay.

"You're okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's just a scratch," said Jay. Hailey looked at him meaningfully.

"Come on. You think I didn't notice you paled when we entered the apartment? What was that about?" inquired Hailey. Jay sighed.

"Tequila?" offered Jay. They went to Jay's apartment. Jay poured a shot of tequila and gave it to Hailey before sitting next to her.

"I got nightmare last week after the incident at the airport. Your head got blown up in the dream," Jay stated simply.

"You didn't say anything, I thought it passed," Hailey remembered Jay's immediate reaction after the ordeal.

"I accidentally fell asleep to a cop TV show. The gunshot sound from the TV made the perfect background for the nightmare, I think. You were on the ground and lifeless because I failed to negotiate," Jay was pale. Hailey grabbed a glass of water and gave it to Jay.

"That was first nightmare since the previous week, because when I slept with booze, I didn't have nightmare. I wanted to make sure you were alive, but it was 2 am," said Jay.

"It's okay, you should've called anyway," said Hailey. "You talked to your therapist?"

"Yeah… it got better the following night. And today you were at gunpoint, it brought back the memory," said Jay. Hailey nodded understanding.

"Anything I can do?" asked Hailey after a while. Jay shook his head.

"I want to do this on my own," said Jay.

"I'd rather not," said Hailey. Jay was caught off guard.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't want you to deal with it on your own. Last year… it didn't go so well," Hailey said cautiously. She knew she's venturing into dangerous territory here.

"You didn't trust me," Jay concluded. He stood to grab a shot of tequila. Hailey looked at him disapprovingly.

"Hey, you're under painkiller," she reminded. Jay ignored her and downed the shot. "Jay, I trust you. But I saw firsthand how you did when… when you accidentally shot that girl. I regret that I wasn't there for you then. I saw the sign, but I didn't act on it. Now, I want to act on it. I want to help if I can," said Hailey. She went after Jay to the kitchen.

"Well, you can't," snapped Jay. Hailey was taken aback. Jay realised he had gone too far the second he said it.

"Alright," Hailey nodded. She went to the door. "You should go to bed, let the painkiller work," she said. "Still, if you need anything, I'll always be a call away," she was gone before Jay had time to answer. Jay huffed and buried his face on his hands.

* * *

_A conflict, sorry! I like writing conflict. And many of you hated that Hailey went on a date, well... bear with me, please. Spoiler: the chapter about Will's wedding in my other story 'Anytime' is after this story ends. The__y were not romantically together in that story, so if you're looking for a romantic involvement between them in this story, you might be disappointed. I do promise some fluff and deep conversations in this story though... hope I don't let you down too far. _


	19. Chapter 19

"Upton," Hailey grumbled to her phone without even looking at the screen.

"Hailey," she heard Jay's voice.

"Yeah?" Hailey looked at the clock. It's 1 am.

"Can you drive me to Med?" asked Jay.

"What? What happened?" Hailey jumped from her bed.

"I tore my stitches," said Jay.

"Alright, hang on there. I'm gonna be there in 10," said Hailey. She threw on a hoodie and ran to her car. She arrived at Jay's apartment in no time, and she went inside without knocking. She saw medicine bottle on the table, but Jay wasn't in the living area. Peeking into the slightly opened bedroom door, she didn't find Jay either.

"Jay?" she called.

"In the bathroom," Jay answered. Hailey went inside the bathroom. Jay sat on the closed toilet seat, many bloody tissues and towel littered the floor. Jay's face was pale and his eyes were bloodshot. He had put emergency bandage on his wound, but most of it had been soaked in blood.

"Oh my God," Hailey's hand quickly went to Jay's forehead, checking his temperature. He was cold and his skin was clammy. Hailey picked a roll of bandage from the first aid kit and put on a tourniquet on Jay's arm. "Come on," she pulled Jay standing. She slung Jay's jacket on his shoulders and guided him to her car. Hailey helped Jay got in and ran to the driver side. She drove as fast as possible to Med.

"How did you burst the stitches?" asked Hailey.

"I got nightmare and accidentally tore it," answered Jay sheepishly. Hailey reached over and squeezed his arm. Jay squeezed his hand back.

"Thanks," said Jay.

"Will is gonna kill me," muttered Hailey.

"No, don't worry. He adores you. If any, he would yell at me," said Jay. Hailey pushed the gas deeper. "Hey, slow down. We don't want to get admitted into ER more often than we already did."

"We're platinum members anyway," smirked Hailey. She dropped Jay off in the ER entrance, then parked the car. When she went into the ER, she met Will at the nurse station.

"I'm sorry Will, I should keep an eye on him," said Hailey.

"What, no. It's not your fault, of course," Will looked perplexed. He walked with Hailey to Jay's exam room.

"I should've stayed," said Hailey.

"What happened?" asked Will.

"How is he doing? With everything."

"What do you mean?"

"He kept telling me that he was fine, and for a while I believed him. He's not fine. He didn't want any help from me, so I assumed he went to you," said Hailey.

"He didn't, not really…" said Will. "Give me a minute with him, okay?"

"I'll be in the cafeteria, I need some caffeine."

"Thanks," Will patted Hailey's shoulder. He watched Hailey passed and went inside the exam room, where Ethan was giving Jay stitches. Jay looked down, didn't acknowledge him going inside.

"I hope you don't tear the new stitches," said Ethan after he finished the procedure and wrapped a new bandage on Jay's arm. "Don't get it wet, change it every day, and come back next week. I said it before, haven't I?"

"Thanks, Ethan," said Jay. Will gave Ethan a pat on the back as he walked out, eager to escape the conversation between the brothers. From the look of it, Will wanted to yell at Jay but having trouble finding the words. And Jay… Jay seemed to wanting to disappear.

"What happened?" asked Will as he stood opposite Jay.

"I got a nightmare, popped my stitches as I trashed around," said Jay.

"No, you know it's not what I asked. Why did Hailey apologise to me?"

"You were the one who said that I should be careful being around her, to not lead her on, and I did all that. I pushed her away, that's what you want, right?" Jay was upset. On top of being shot…no, grazed by a bullet, he snapped at Hailey, tore his stitched, he didn't want to have this kind of conversation with his brother, let alone in the ER at 2 in the morning. He hopped off the bed and grabbed his jacket. Will helped him put on his jacket, and they walked out of the room. Will guided Jay to the break room, which was surprisingly empty considering the strangely quiet ER.

"I said you shouldn't lead her on, not that you should push her away," said Will. "What happened? This isn't just about you pushing her away, is it? There's something bothering you. This has something to do with you being shot?"

"Scratched by a bullet," Jay didn't miss a beat to correct Will. "No, it has nothing to do with that."

"So?" asked Will. Jay said nothing. "Jay," said Will, half pleading.

"Remember when I said I want to deal with everything on my own? That I don't want you helping? I kinda said the same thing to her… not about those stuffs, though. I dreamed about her getting blown up to death because of me. Today the dream flashed before my eyes when we were doing raid, and she caught me. The suspect pointed the gun at her. I can't have her killed, or hurt, on my watch," said Jay.

"Jay, she knew her risk when she signed up to be a cop. You can't think like that, however much I don't want her hurt as well," said Will.

"I told her about the nightmare today, and she asked how she can help. I said she can't. I don't want to rely on her, isn't that what you said I should do?"

Will was at lost about what to say. He started to understand why Hailey felt guilty. Jay told her he was fine, and she believed him. He told her that because of Will's warning. He cringed internally.

"Was today's nightmare about you getting shot or her?" asked Will.

"Her," said Jay. "That I couldn't save her, and I lost another person I care about," said Jay.

"Okay, I was wrong, Jay. Obviously she means more to you than I thought. You need to talk to her, go talk. You need her help. It's obvious she's worried about you. She knows something's not right," said Will.

"I told her she can't help," said Jay.

"Can she?"

"I think… yeah, I think she can. I went to her often before, before you said not to," said Jay.

"Did it help? When you do your… whatever it is, does it help?" asked Will.

"Yeah, it helped," said Jay.

"Then don't listen to me, Jay. Since when you do, anyway? I don't want you to lead her on, I don't want you to hurt her, but I want you to be better in the first place. Sorry," said Will. "Go, talk to her. She wants you to get better, too."

"That's if she wanted to talk to me," said Jay, whipping out his phone.

"She's in the cafeteria," said Will. "I'll call you tomorrow... today, on the evening."

"Thanks," said Jay. He went to the cafeteria. Hailey was there, asleep on the table. Her head was buried in her hands on the table. A cup of coffee sat in front of her. Jay sat in front of her.

"Hailey," he shook Hailey's shoulder. As much he hated to wake her up, he couldn't drive with the painkiller. She stirred slowly, looking up at Jay.

"Is it done?" asked Hailey. Jay nodded.

"Sorry it took some time. I'm good to go. Are you good to drive?" asked Jay.

"Yeah," said Hailey, downing her coffee. He led her out of the hospital and walked to the parking lot. She drove back to his place. Jay didn't comment when she parked her car and followed him inside his place.

"What are you doing?" asked Jay when Hailey went straight to the bathroom. Hailey didn't answer him; she closed the door and cleaned the bathroom from bloodied tissues and towel on the floor. On the sink there was a smear of blood. She scrubbed clean the sink. When she went out of the bathroom, Jay went out of his bedroom carrying sheets smeared with blood.

"You shouldn't," said Jay.

"I know you like to do all by yourself, but it's not wrong to ask for help," said Hailey. Jay's expression softened. He dumped the dirty sheets on the floor near the kitchen and sat on the couch. He motioned to Hailey to do the same. She crossed her legs, facing him.

"Sorry I snapped at you," said Jay.

"It's okay," said Hailey.

"It's not. Why do you keep insisting that it's okay for me to treat you badly?" asked Jay.

"What do you want?" Hailey let out a deep sigh. It's nearly 3 am and she was in no mood to argue.

"I treated you horribly. You wanted to help and I snapped at you. Why are you not angry?"

"Because I know you're struggling," Jay was taken aback. "I can see that, despite you thinking you're hiding it well. And I want you to know that I got your back; that I'm here. I wasn't there last year, I want to make sure you get help this time," Hailey's concerned eyes warmed Jay's soul. He knew that he hit the lottery in partner department, but Hailey kept him surprised all the time. "I'm not an angel, Jay. Of course I was upset when you kept me at arm's length, when you insulted me. But I reminded myself that you didn't do it on purpose, and you only need a punching bag for a while. I know that you're a good person; that you didn't intend on hurting me. Guess that makes it okay. If you need a shoulder to lean on, mine will always be available," she smiled. Jay couldn't hide his amazement. He looked down because he wasn't sure he would be able to keep his eyes dry. He replied only after he was sure he wouldn't break down.

"Thank you, for sticking up with me," said Jay. "I promise, whenever you need me, literally, whenever, 50 years from now, I'll come to you," he stood up and bent in front of Hailey, grabbed the side of her head and placed a light peck on her forehead, conveying his gratitude for his partner, his best friend. He meant every word he said. She had been his anchor, his light these past few weeks, no, this past year, and he planned to keep her around. Even if life separates them someday, he would come running to her whenever she needs him. Despite Will's warning, he knew Hailey knew not to interpret the kiss romantically. There might be a time later for that, if that happens in the future, but his feeling for her right now ran deeper than just a sexual affection. When he sat back down, he saw Hailey's eyes were teary. He found her tears infectious and started to get teary eyed as well.

"I'll hold you for that. I do have to remind you though, and I hope you get it instilled in your mind, that I am a very capable cop. Even when I was held hostage for a couple seconds, or was held at gunpoint, I know how to get myself out of those situations. Yes, we watch each other's backs, and I am touched to know that my safety means a lot to you, but I don't want you getting nightmare about me being shot, or killed," said Hailey.

"That's one of my fears," whispered Jay.

"Trust me, it's mine too. But the danger comes with the job, and I don't need to be bubble wrapped. I'm not made of glass," said Hailey.

"Yeah… I don't know what I would do if it happened, though. So be careful, okay? You're one hell of a partner, I don't intend on losing you," Jay reached over and squeezed her shoulder.

"Same goes to you," said Hailey. "Tell me if you need anything?"

"I'll try," Jay smiled. They locked eyes for a couple seconds, both conveying emotions to each other. They felt relieved with the talk, but they speak more with their eyes. Jay's had amazement, gratitude, and relief while Hailey's conveyed concern and sympathy, and… sleepiness. Her yawn broke their moment, and infected Jay who mirrored her yawn. Both laughed.

"You're crashing here," Jay's words were more a statement than a question. He wasn't gonna let her drive home at 3 am when she was sleepy and tired.

"Yeah, guess I am," Hailey shrugged.

"You can take my bed, I'll sleep here. It's clean, I just changed the sheet," Jay motioned to the pile of bloodied sheets on the floor.

"You're the wounded one, I'm not taking over your bed," argued Hailey. Jay pulled a blanket from behind the couch and passed it to her. "You're gonna be okay? Don't let your..." Hailey glanced at the clock, "two hours beauty sleep disturbed by nightmare," she tentatively offered. Jay had been putting distance between them lately; she didn't know how he would react.

"Do you mind?" asked Jay sheepishly.

"Tucking you in so the bed bugs don't bite?" teased Hailey. "Come on, I'm a child whisperer. I put Angie to bed in record time."

"You tell anyone," Jay started threatening Hailey while laughing.

"You don't have my cards," Hailey half-pushed Jay to the bedroom. Jay lied down and Hailey sat on the bedside, tucking the blanket carefully around his bandaged arm. "I'll blackmail you 50 years from now," she teased Jay. Jay yawned. "Don't fight it, just sleep. You won't get nightmare."

"I don't want any nightmare anymore, I've had enough," said Jay.

"Yeah you have," Hailey rubbed Jay's shoulder just above his bandage.

"When is your next date with the Narcotics guy?" asked Jay sleepily.

"What makes you think I'll see him again?" said Hailey. Jay fell asleep quickly. After making sure Jay was in deep sleep, Hailey ran her hand through Jay's hair and planting a soft kiss on his forehead. Her heart ached for her partner who had the weight of the world on his shoulders. She sighed before went to sleep on the couch.

* * *

_Just for fun: who would wake up first in the morning? _

* * *

_A short one but full of fluff. Seems many are disappointed when I said they won't end in a romantic relationship, but as I said, I need to be convinced further by the show (which is currently on hiatus). I saw the slow burn and affection between them, though, which I would inject into my stories. Kisses on the forehead? Kill me now! But jumping into bed together? Noo, not at the moment, at least in my head, because I've written my take on Season 6 later episodes and they weren't in a relationship there. This story and 'Anytime' are in the same universe. _

_If you fancy a romantic Upstead, read my story 'It's Mutual'. I went against myself and wrote an angsty take on romantic Upstead._


	20. Chapter 20

Hailey woke up at 5.30 am, before her alarm, and went for a run. She wasn't very familiar with Jay's neighbourhood, but she knew there's a breakfast café around the corner which sells very good muffins. Jay usually got her one if he owed her something.

When she got back after the run, muffins in hand, she found the apartment still dark and quiet. So Jay hadn't woken up, which was good. She knew that Jay hadn't been sleeping well again, despite him claiming that he had good therapy sessions. She started the coffee and took a shower.

Hailey's ringtone woke Jay up. He yawned and walked to the living room half awake, and answered the phone.

"Sarge."

"Halstead?" asked Voight. Jay suddenly woke up fully when he realised his mistake of answering Hailey's phone. While he always does it on stakeout or in the office without batting an eye, 6.30 am in the morning would definitely raise questions.

"Yes, Sarge?"

"There's a robbery in Uptown. I'm sending the coordinate to this phone," said Voight. Hailey walked out of the bathroom.

"Copy that, Sarge. We'll be there," said Jay. Hailey's eyes suddenly popped out to the use of 'we'. She gasped when she saw that Jay answered her phone. She didn't want the Sergeant to assume about Jay and her. Jay shrugged as Voight already hung up. "It's okay, you took me to Med last night," said Jay.

"Crime scene?" asked Hailey.

"Robbery in Uptown. It's a bank," Jay looked at the location Hailey's phone. "Give me five minutes." He went into the bathroom. When he walked into the kitchen, Hailey already poured coffee into two paper cups and raided his fridge looking for isotonic drink she knew stashed somewhere.

"Got the muffins," Hailey smiled and waved the paper bag on the kitchen counter.

"How can you be so cheerful in the morning," Jay grumbled.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I see," smirked Hailey.

"Thanks to some robbers, I only got three hours of sleep," Jay accepted the coffee Hailey offered, then led her outside.

"What did Voight say?" asked Hailey as they went into her car. There's no use arriving separately if Jay answered her phone in the morning. They still had some explaining to do to Voight.

"Robbery in Uptown," said Jay.

"No, about you answering my phone."

"Nothing," Jay shrugged. "It's okay. You really drove me to Med at 1 am. He knew I got shot."

"Scratched by a bullet," teased Hailey. Jay laughed.

"How did you get Lucia's muffins in the morning?" asked Jay.

"I went for a run, and on the way back I stopped there," said Hailey.

"You ran in the morning?" Jay shook his head. "Remind me again, am I the only one who went to Med and woke up at 1 to 3 am?"

"Yeah… need to clear my mind and think at the same time," Hailey kept her eyes looking forward. Jay glanced at her.

"Care to share?" asked Jay.

"Long story. Maybe later, when everything is clear," answer Hailey vaguely.

"Alright. Anytime you need to rant, we can do it over alcohol," smirked Jay. Hailey smiled.

"Yeah… thanks."

* * *

They arrived at the bank earlier than the rest of the team, save for Voight, whose car was parked across the bank.

"Greg!" Hailey approached an officer she knew from her Robbery-Homicide days.

"Hailey. Go on, feel free to take the lead on this one," said the officer.

"Jay Halstead, Gregory Chan," Hailey introduced them. "What do we got, Greg?"

"Four victims. Three security personnel, one most likely is the offender. Messy job. We called Intelligence because they broke into a deposit box filled with counterfeit money and narcotics," said Greg.

"Alright, let me inside," said Hailey.

"Follow me," Greg walked with Hailey, Jay trailed behind. "How's your new unit? I met your Sergeant."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, he arrived very early," they went to the bank and past two dead bodies. Hailey cringed at the amount of blood. "Not used to seeing blood now?" teased Greg. Hailey squinted at him.

"Not as brutal as Robbery Homicide, at least," said Hailey.

"You remember the nightmare we used to get after kids casualty?" Greg sighed. "The job never gets easier."

"Yeah… I know. Hey, catch up later, alright? They sprayed the security cameras with paint?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah they did, but not that smart, they parked in front. Gave the license number to your Sergeant," said Greg. They went to a backroom. Another dead body was lying on the ground.

"Sarge," said Hailey. Voight looked at them, and pointed to few marks on the ground.

"Upton. Work the body, and witnesses. Figure out what they want," said Voight. "Halstead, you're with me."

They exchanged a look, then did their jobs separately. It's not until they were ready to leave that Voight called Hailey. "You're riding with me. Halstead, you and Burgess talk to the night shift security."

* * *

Voight didn't say anything about the unusual arrangement to Hailey, but he kept Hailey under his wings throughout the day. Finally, when they rode back to the district after concluding the case, Voight addressed her about the situation.

"You know I hate my people lying to me," said Voight.

"I didn't lie to you," said Hailey.

"Out of everyone, you're the least I expect," continued Voight.

"I didn't lie," repeated Hailey, a bit upset with the accusation. At least, he could've asked.

"You're sleeping with Halstead, and you said you didn't," accused Voight.

"I don't sleep with him," said Hailey.

"Explain. From the moment you spent your day off in the park with him, with your niece and his nephew, to spending the night together last night," Voight stopped the car and faced her.

"He had trouble making peace with his dad's death, he needed help. And I helped him, he talked to me. As a friend. When I got injured, he drove me around. He wanted to drive me to the park because I have my niece staying. I think he felt that he owed me for helping him deal with everything. And when we were about to leave, Will got migraine, so we took Owen so Will could rest. That's it," said Hailey.

"Last night," asked Voight.

"He tore his stitches, called me at 1 am to drive him to Med. After I dropped him back home at 3, he told me to stay until the morning, it was dangerous and I was sleepy. We didn't sleep together, I crashed on the couch," said Hailey.

"Okay," Voight started the car. His voice softened, and Hailey found herself releasing the breath she had unknowingly been holding. "I'm concerned about him. He's not himself lately," said Voight. Hailey snapped her head to look at Voight. "I do care about my people, Hailey. I reamed him out about how he handled the fire case, about how he treated everyone, mainly you. Haven't talked to him much since I threatened to pull one of you."

"Yeah… I'm concerned too. Tried to help, but I think he just needs time," said Hailey.

"He's seeing a shrink, isn't he?" asked Voight.

"He is," said Hailey.

"Don't let him fall too deep, okay? Remember last year? I don't want it happening again," said Voight.

"Copy that," said Hailey.

* * *

"Sorry I didn't answer your call last night. Was it about the session?" asked Hailey when she hopped in Jay's truck after meeting a CI. They didn't have the chance to talk the previous day; after the case was concluded, Jay left for his therapy and Hailey wrote their reports. Jay called Hailey after his therapy session, wanting to ask about it, but Hailey didn't answer his call.

"No, it's okay. It's about the report. Were you out last night?" asked Jay.

"I wasn't feeling too hot; went straight to bed after I got home," said Hailey. She leaned her head on the window. Jay glanced at her. She didn't look too good, now that she mentioned it.

"Voight said anything to you about me answering your phone?" asked Jay.

"Yeah… he straight up accused me of sleeping with you," said Hailey.

"Yeah? And what did you say?" asked Jay.

"That we've been sleeping together for a couple months now, and are going to move in together," Hailey said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Duh, Jay, what do you thing I said? Of course the truth!"

"The truth that we've been sleeping together?" Jay laughed at her witty remark. His smirk turned into concerned frown when Hailey sneezed multiple times and visibly shivered. He rummaged the back seat and tossed her his CPD jacket. It was October, but the air was colder than usual. Hailey gratefully slipped her arms inside the jacket.

"I'll wake you up when we arrive," said Jay. He touched her forehead and frowned when he felt her temperature to be slightly warmer than normal.

"Thanks," said Hailey. She reclined her car seat and slept, covering her eyes with her arm. She woke up when Jay parked in the garage.

"Don't pass the virus to me when we sleep together," joked Jay, wiggling his eyebrows. Hailey burst out laughing.

"By the way, how's therapy going?" asked Hailey.

"It's no longer rough sessions, but as to how much it helps… I don't know. I mean, I got dreams about the war, but it no longer nightmares because I talk about it very often I kinda get used to it. You understand?"

"Yeah, sadly, I do. You heard what Greg said yesterday. Mutilated bodies, kids… I dreamed about people I care being chopped up. First time it happened I went to my parents' at 4 am, crying like a little girl. Later I didn't have that kind of reaction anymore, and after that, on my last year, I didn't dream of that," said Hailey.

"Hopefully I don't dream of that anymore," said Jay. Hailey smiled. "Hey, how's your date with the Narcotics guy? Andrew?" asked Jay.

"Aaron, and we should get inside," said Hailey. Once they were on the stairs, she brushed her fingers on Jay's elbow. "If I don't get a cold, let's grab some beers tonight."

"As long as some criminals don't decide to do drugs or kill or blow something up," smirked Jay. They buzzed in to Intelligence. Everyone was still doing their reports. Hailey sneezed a couple times, announcing their arrival.

"Bless you," said Adam.

* * *

"Raincheck on the beer?" asked Hailey when they were about to leave for the night. She fell asleep on her desk while updating her CI files. Apparently she looked worse than she thought, because Voight let her sleep until it's time to go home. She was now a proud owner of a mark on her cheek, courtesy of sleeping on a folder.

"Yeah, you need to rest," said Jay. He walked Hailey to her car. "Be careful."

"You too," said Hailey when closing her car door. She drove out of the garage, watching Jay got in his car. She intended to get home as fast as she could, so she audibly cursed when she realised a car was following her. When she stopped in a traffic light, she identified the car as Jay's. Half touched and half annoyed, she decided to just let it go. She waved to him when she got out of the car in front of her house, and fell to the couch immediately. It looks that she got a full blown cold; her nose were stuffed and she felt really tired. She didn't have high fever, though, so she was sure it wasn't a case of flu.

Hailey woke up to sound of her door opening. She grabbed her weapon, which was still in the holster on the table, and went to the kitchen entrance where she could face the culprit.

"Put your hands up!" she yelled. Apparently with a stuffed nose and hoarse voice, she didn't sound intimidating. Even her voice sounded strange to her ears. "Ah, shit, Jay. I almost shot you!" she barked when her partner appeared before her, grocery bags in hand, a sheepish smile on his lips. He laughed when he saw Hailey pointing the gun at him.

"That makes us even, you're pointing a gun at me now," he laughed. "I rang the doorbell and I called you, nothing," said Jay.

"That's not funny," Hailey glared, but knew with her bloodshot eyes she couldn't channel the anger.

"Are you alright? Was you passed out cold?" asked Jay, putting his hand to Hailey's forehead to check her temperature.

"I was sleeping," Hailey put her gun in the holster back. "I thought we called raincheck on the beer."

"We did. I'm bringing you some supplies," said Jay. "How's the cold?"

"It's the same," said Hailey. She shrugged off Jay's CPD jacket she wore since they were in the car. She had her usual jacket below, but she felt really cold and kept Jay's jacket with her the whole day. She went to the bathroom and took out a thermometer. 99 degrees… still fine, but she was really tired. After washing her face and pulling her hair into a bun, she stepped out of the bathroom. Jay already prepared her a mug of tea and a bowl of soup.

"Thanks. And… for making sure I got home safe. You could have warned me, you scared me," said Hailey.

"Yeah, sorry for that. Spur of a moment decision," Jay sat in front of her. "I'm sure you haven't eaten. Or drink. How are you gonna recover?" he scolded her lightly.

"My throat hurts, and dizzy," Hailey sipped the tea. Her congested nose began to clear up because of the steam.

"What's going on with telling me when you need help, which we talked about yesterday?" asked Jay.

"It's just a cold, I don't need help," said Hailey.

"Eat," he pointed at the soup, and pulled out his own dinner, a sandwich. Hailey stopped eating halfway, after her throat and stomach gave up.

"I'm done," she announced. The soup from her corner deli was usually her favourite, aside from her mum's. But her throat felt like sandpaper, she had no appetite, and her head felt very heavy. Her headache, in turn, made her slightly nauseous. She put the soup in a container then walked to the living room, curled up under a blanket. When Jay went to the living room after cleaning the kitchen, it was clear she was feeling worse than previously. She had pulled a trash can closer to her to throw away the tissues she used, and she was nestling her head in her hands. Jay knelt next to her, feeling her temperature. There was a chance that the cold had turned into flu.

"No, no fever… I think," said Hailey. "It's the headache."

"You want some Advil?" asked Jay. Hailey nodded. Jay went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and the pills. He popped two and presented it to Hailey who took it. She snuggled to the couch, burying herself deeper in the pile of pillows and blanket. Jay went to the kitchen, making some drink. When he went back to Hailey with a mug filled with hot toddy and a glass filled with straight whiskey in it, Hailey was still in the same position, but her uneven breathing and congested nose sound gave away the fact that she was awake.

"Here, drink this," Jay shook her shoulder lightly. Hailey saw the glasses on the table and reached for the one with straight whiskey. Jay snatched the mug from her hand. "Nice try. This one's mine," he pushed the other glass to Hailey's hand.

"Ah, I'm disappointed," Hailey smirked, mulling her mug. "You put far more whiskey here than my mum, I'm actually impressed," she sipped her drink.

"Anything you need before I head out?" asked Jay.

"No, thanks, Jay," said Hailey. "I'm just gonna call it a night." Jay followed her to her room. "Tucking me in again? I'm not sure whether to be embarrassed or flattered," Hailey slipped under her blanket. Jay switched off the lamp.

"Have some rest. I'll see you if you get to work tomorrow," said Jay.

* * *

Hailey called in sick to work the next day. Jay had a therapy session after work; in which he had a rough time. He had to talk about his surroundings, people in his life now, and Jay was forced to relieve the hostage situation with Hailey which appeared in his nightmare before. He had a panic attack during the therapy session, something that was no longer a routine. At 9 pm, he rang Hailey's doorbell. After a few minutes, Hailey opened the door, sleepy after a nap. She was taken aback seeing Jay's face. His eyes were red and bloodshot; it was clear he had been crying.

"Jay?" she let Jay in, and closed the door. "What happened? You alright?" she asked concerned. Jay pulled her into a hug and squeezed her. She was about to question him when she felt him sob against her shoulder. She rubbed his back and let him cry.

* * *

_I was caught up in my other story that I kinda forgot about this one, my bad! And coincidentally last chapter so far in my other story (It's Mutual c6) and this one ended the same way! Please read that one and let me know what you think! _


	21. Chapter 21

They stayed for a couple minutes until Jay calmed down. Once he released his grip on her, Hailey guided him to the living room and grabbed him a glass of water. Jay sat motionlessly, but his eyes followed Hailey's every movement. Hailey thrust the glass to Jay's hands, which were shaking.

"Is it the therapy?" asked Hailey. Jay nodded. "You wanna talk about it?" asked Hailey gently.

"We talked about the airport situation in the therapy," said Jay. "Not just talked, I was brought back to the moment, and to the nightmare."

"I'm sorry," said Hailey.

"It was so real, I have to see by myself that you didn't get shot in the head," said Jay.

"It's okay," Hailey rubbed Jay's shoulder. "Anytime you need to make sure I'm still alive."

"I'll put bubble wrap on you, I need you alive," said Jay.

"That sounds like a hostage situation," Hailey pointed out. Jay smirked. "You finished your therapy session like that? It's a good thing you could drive."

"Had panic attack there, I cried buckets. Once I was done, the session was finished, and I was on my way here. It came back, I mean, the memories… I had to stop because I got another attack," said Jay. Hailey was scared he was about to get another panic attack, so she kept her hand on his shoulder.

"Is there something I can do?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah… be here," said Jay. His hands were shaking and he was very pale, reminding Hailey of the day he was shot. Hailey's heart broke for him when she saw a tear fell from Jay's eye.

"I'm here," said Hailey. She instinctively pulled Jay to lean on her. Both were having a _de ja vu_ moment from the day Jay got shot, and he cried to Hailey's shoulder. Since then, this had becoming somewhat familiar to them. While the circumstances differ, they remained the same.

"It was very real. In my dreams, at least. I saw you got shot multiple times already," said Jay. Hailey cringed. With their job, the risk of getting shot, getting blown up is always present. "Sorry I barged in," said Jay sheepishly after a while.

"At least you knocked," said Hailey sarcastically, but smiled after.

"Yeah, I'll just let myself in next time," said Jay. Hailey glared at him.

"You're feeling better?" asked Hailey.

"After seeing you don't have bullet hole in your head, yeah," said Jay. Hailey went to the kitchen to grab two mugs of tea.

"Hey, how's your cold?" asked Jay.

"I slept all day, I'll be in tomorrow," said Hailey. She gave Jay a mug of tea and sipped one herself. Her congested nose had cleared up a bit, and her head was feeling better than yesterday. Her stomach chose the right moment to rumble, and they both snickered.

"You haven't eaten yet?"

"No, I haven't. The Thai place around the corner doesn't deliver, I don't feel like going. I prefer sleeping," said Hailey.

"You could've just ask," grunted Jay, and before Hailey could say anything, he was out the door. He came back 15 minutes later, letting himself in. Hailey was asleep on the couch. Jay poured the soup in a bowl and plopped on the couch near her legs.

"You shouldn't make it a habit, it is called an emergency key for a reason," chastised Hailey lightly. Telling the truth, she didn't mind not having to wake up to open the door.

"You're sick, it's an emergency," Jay shrugged. "Thai noodle soup." He handed Hailey the bowl.

"Thanks," said Hailey.

"Narcotics Aaron didn't bring you food?" teased Jay. He pulled out his own dinner of Drunken Noodle.

"No, and you make his name sounds like a criminal," Hailey rolled her eyes. "It was just two dates that didn't go anywhere, stop making him sound like my boyfriend."

"Why?" Jay blurted out. "Sorry, I mean… I'm sorry it didn't turn out well."

"It's okay, it's not like I was expecting anything out of it. I think Amy is more disappointed than I am," Hailey shrugged. They ate in silence.

"Have you ever met someone, you connected with that person, but police loyalty wise, you're in different places?" asked Hailey suddenly.

"You mean?"

"Let's see… like, for example… if you and Voight dated, I think you would be in different places, wouldn't you? You're more by-the-book cop while him… anything to get the job done."

"First of all, why it has to be me and Sarge as example? Can't you use yourself as example? Second, I dated his daughter, all-but-blood. Erin and Voight are very similar cops. Look how it ended up," Jay shrugged.

"God, sorry, I didn't think of that," apologise Hailey quickly. Jay waved her off.

"Is Narcotics Aaron like that?" asked Jay.

"I got that vibe. We were talking about some things that happened in the past, you know, as open as can be without jeopardising secrecy of the job. And he mentioned an operation which I wouldn't do. It was… somewhat illegal? He meant well, but… I just couldn't accept the way it was done. I'm not saying I never did something borderline illegal or off-the-book. I worked for Voight for God's sake. But Aaron… he ordered it. His idea, his action. So there it was: two dates. Next I'll just date a teacher and not someone who has anything to do with law enforcement," said Hailey.

"Really?" asked Jay.

"I don't know, but I think when you date a cop, that becomes an issue. When you just date a usual citizen, you don't bother to think about that."

"You mean when I date a drug dealer?" asked Jay sarcastically. Hailey gasped.

"Sorry, I didn't mean…" Hailey stammered.

"No, it's okay. I was messing with you," Jay smirked. They finished eating in silence. Jay insisted to clean up and walked back to the living room with two cans of beer, passing one to her.

"I'll pass," Hailey put the can on the table. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Was it only in my head or were you really avoiding me after the park bombing?" asked Hailey. Jay looked anywhere but her eyes, making Hailey knew the answer immediately. "Why?"

"It's… It's complicated," said Jay.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want to overstay my welcome. I slowly became used to crashing on the couch here, having you around so I don't have nightmare, and I don't want to make it a habit. I don't want you interpreting this romantically," Jay laid everything out.

"I pondered about what happened. I didn't notice at first, you held back from socialising. I thought I did something wrong," Hailey frowned. "And I didn't think that way, don't worry…"

"Also, it's not a proper thing to do, to spend that much time with you when you're dating Narcotics Aaron," smirked Jay. Hailey rolled her eyes at the name.

"He's a guy I went on two dates with. You're my partner, and you need help. It's different," said Hailey.

"Remind me to treat you to a nice meal once the therapy, and the nightmares, are over?"

"Should I take that romantically?" teased Hailey, smirking while raising her eyebrows. "Kidding, Jay. I know we're both not looking for that right now. At least I'm not, so you don't have to worry I overthink this. I'm simply helping you, nothing more."

"First of all, simple help is taking a file from the top shelf; your help is huge and I'll be forever thankful. Secondly, as if I can be in a relationship with someone if I keep getting nightmares," murmured Jay. "Maybe when this is over, when the time is right, who knows, but now…"

"Or find someone who can accept that," blurted Hailey, leading to an awkward silence. They decided to leave it at that; neither wanted to continue the conversation. Hailey yawned at the right time and tried to suppress it.

"Sorry, the cold medicine must suck my energy," grinned Hailey.

"It's called cold medicine to make you rest," said Jay.

"I'm bored to death, I'll come in tomorrow," said Hailey. Jay shrugged.

"Don't force yourself. Just rest, it's not like we have an active case," said Jay.

"We don't?" asked Hailey.

"Nope," Jay shook his head. It's always strange when they don't have any case. Surely someone had to do some crimes somewhere…

"I'll go, you need to rest," said Jay.

"You sure you're okay?" asked Hailey. An hour ago he was crying uncontrollably.

"I think so."

"Alright, good night," Hailey walked him to the door.

"Thanks."

"Anytime," smiled Hailey.

* * *

Hailey woke up in the middle of the night because her nose was congested. She went to the kitchen to brew some tea. While passing the living room, she frowned when she saw Jay sleeping on the couch. She could swear Jay went home and not crashing on her couch; she sent him out the door. As she walked towards him, she noticed tear track on his face; a telltale sign of a nightmare. Her heart sank realising how uncomfortable his sleep was. Half annoyed because he let himself in; but also touched as he went to her place for comfort; she brewed the tea and sat beside him, stroking his shoulder and back until Jay started to relax.

* * *

_A short one to celebrate day 1 of filming Season 7! Might be the shortest chapter I've ever written. _


	22. Chapter 22

When Jay woke up at 6, he sensed someone nearby. Upon feeling Hailey's touch on his shoulder, he stirred. Hailey was asleep sitting beside him; her head was propped by the armrest. He pulled her to lie on the couch; covering her with blanket. He sat on the kitchen counter, pondering about the situation. He had a couple of therapy sessions left, and nightmare still bugged him. It got better, sure, but only briefly. He got nightmare when there's a trigger, not the war but his closest people dying on him. He sighed and started the coffee.

"Morning," Jay was pouring coffee when Hailey woke up. She glared at Jay, but received the coffee mug he offered. "I know I know," Jay raised his hands in surrender.

"It's called emergency key for an emergency," scolded Hailey.

"I don't want to wake you up at 1," said Jay.

"You came at 1?" asked Hailey.

"I had a nightmare about you dying, and went here. I had to see that you're okay," said Jay.

"You watched me asleep at 1?" Hailey's eyes widened.

"Not really, well, you locked your room. I didn't want to break the lock; I was afraid you'd shoot me," said Jay.

"I understand, but you could've called me. Or ring the bell. I meant it when I said I'll help you with anything. But we do it properly. You call or ring the bell, not letting yourself in. It's not I don't trust you, but some boundaries have to be put in place. That's the only way our partnership is gonna work," Hailey frowned. "Or you can give me back my key, I'll give it to Antonio instead."

"Sorry," said Jay, managed to look sheepish. "I'll be out in 5 minutes. Are you coming to work?"

"Yeah, I am," Hailey sat on the couch and lay down.

"See you at work," said Jay. Upon hearing no response, he walked to the living room. "Hey, Hailey, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't come uninvited, it's just… I don't feel right waking you up."

"It's okay," said Hailey. "Please lock as you leave, I'm catching up on sleep, still very tired."

"You're really okay?" Jay frowned, his hand made its way to her forehead.

"Yeah, I think," said Hailey.

"Hey, thanks for keeping me company. I didn't realise you went to sit by me. Did I wake you up?" asked Jay, feeling guilty since it looked like she didn't sleep well on the couch, which probably was a trade-off with him feeling very well rested and woke up fresh.

"No, you didn't. I went to grab a drink, and saw you there, clearly having nightmare. You didn't scream, you… you cried, silently."

"I remember it very vaguely, but I woke up rested, thanks to you," Jay touched Hailey's shoulder. "Sorry you didn't sleep well sitting up."

"No, obviously I did. I didn't even realise when you woke up. I just need to catch on an hour of sleep, and I'll be good," said Hailey. Jay pulled the blanket over her and tucked her in.

"Alright, see you later," said Jay. He went home, showered, and picked up coffee and muffins on the way. Hailey could use some sugar kick today, especially as they would be doing paperwork.

* * *

The day dragged by very slow; they updated CI files and sifted through cold cases. The muffin and coffee Jay brought Hailey was finished in an instant because she was bored doing paperwork. They almost cheered when Voight received a call about multiple carjacking, only to realise how insensitive it would be.

Once it was known that the carjacker targeted females, they gathered in the bullpen to strategize. Antonio looked to Kim and Hailey as he suggested one of them went undercover.

"I'll do it," shrugged Hailey. Jay snapped his head up. "I'll be carjacked, and one of you can wait in the car to apprehend him. It should be over in no time, only one offender."

"Okay, you're wearing wire and camera for evidence," said Voight.

"Don't I have a voice in this?" interrupted Jay.

"You're outnumbered. Besides, it's not like we have any other options," said Antonio. Jay quickly counted and cursed inside. Out of three detectives and a sergeant, only he disagreed.

"Alright," Jay nodded. "But I get to be her cover."

"No," Voight countered. "You'll be in the van, ready to chase the car if something goes wrong. Adam, you cover her. Kim and Kevin, you'll be in the corner, ready to chase on foot."

"Got it," said Adam. Jay was livid, but Hailey quickly dragged him to the back room to help her set up the wire and camera.

"Okay, out with it," said Hailey once she came out of the changing room and sat beside Jay.

"I should be your cover, you know that," said Jay. He stood and paced back and forth.

"No, I need you outside the car. If something goes wrong and I am hurt, I want you there," Hailey grabbed his arm. It was only a partial truth, but she had been worried about Jay because of what happened in his therapy sessions, and didn't want her judgement to be clouded by having him covering her.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. No need to bubble wrap you," repeated Jay, his hands shook as he helped her putting on wire.

"Exactly. I'll be careful," said Hailey. She patted Jay's arm.

"You better be," Jay hugged her.

* * *

Jay tried to hide his anxiety. He was hiding in a van with Antonio and Voight, ready to jump out or chase by car if something went wrong. As much as he knew that Hailey was capable—he witnessed her fight multiple times—he couldn't help but felt worry seeped in the back of her mind. He just talked to the therapist yesterday about the fear of losing two most important people to him—Hailey and Will—and Hailey did an operation in which he wasn't the backup. Adam is a competent cop, but Jay still felt it should be him.

"Jay, head on the game," Antonio patted his shoulder, sensing his colleague shifted uncomfortably in his seat. His body language screamed anxiety—his legs trembled and he tapped the table with his nail. "You're okay?" he asked. He had been disturbed by the departure of his sister—leaving his husband and the city that she loved all of a sudden—that he just realised that something was wrong with Jay. He made a mental note to check with Hailey about that; she seems to know something about what bugged Jay. From what he knew, Jay wasn't close with his father—so something else must have been bugging him.

"Yeah, sorry," Jay gathered himself and looked at the surveillance monitor. Hailey walked out a store with paper bags on her hand, pretended that she just finished shopping. As she opened the door of the car, two men ran up to her. She didn't prepare for two offenders; previously there was only one offender. She tackled one of the guys down, but the second guy shoved her against the car. She got caught by surprise when he opened the boot of the car and shoved her in.

Jay and Antonio were out the door as soon as Hailey was shoved inside the boot. Jay, Kim, and Kevin ran to the car while Antonio and Voight apprehended the guy who was on the ground after being kicked in the gut by Hailey. When they surrounded the car, they saw Adam pointing his weapon to the back of the guy's head. He couldn't start the car as Hailey had shut the electricity down.

"Okay, okay!" the guy yelled. Jay opened the boot.

"Adam got him?" asked Hailey as soon as she saw Jay. Jay nodded.

"Yeah," he pulled Hailey out. "You alright?"

"I think so," said Hailey. She rubbed Jay's arm.

"You good?" Kevin exchanged fist bump with Hailey. Hailey nodded.

Hailey locked eyes with Jay who nodded while giving her a strained smile. Soon they jumped to their separate cars and went back to the district. Jay gripped the steering while until his knuckles went white. His jaw was hardened. She knew that he was disturbed that the plan didn't work as it should be, even though they got the bad guys in the end.

"You okay?" asked Hailey. Jay nodded, keeping his view to the road. Hailey touched his shoulder. "You want me to drive?"

"No, I'm good," said Jay.

"Talk," ordered Hailey. Jay smirked at her tone. She always knows how to break his barrier. Jay grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"You got slammed against the car pretty bad, you sure you're good?" asked Jay concerned.

"I think so. It was the side which got injured last time, but so far I didn't feel anything," said Hailey, relieved that Jay had started to loosen up.

"Tell me if you need to go get checked up," said Jay. Hailey nodded.

* * *

Jay had another therapy session the following day. He was relieved that he didn't have nightmare following the therapy; neither did there was any trigger for him. Hailey kept a close eye on him on work, and asked about his therapy as often as she could without making him feel smothered. They had cases like usual, because, someone had to do something in Chicago, right?

The following week, as they waited for their lunch—it was Adam's turn to pick up food—Voight received a call. Nobody really paid attention, because that was how most cases usually started.

"Crime scene, let's go. Tell Adam to meet us there," announced Voight.

Once they arrived, they gathered around the body which was covered by a large plastic sheet. Antonio squatted to lift the sheet, and they all gasped.

"What the hell?" Kevin voiced what was in their minds. Everybody was secretly relieved they hadn't had lunch. Two boys, no older than eight years old, were found overdosed in a dumpster. Beside her, Kim gasped, her body trembled. Hailey put a hand on her back, and was not surprised when she leaned to Kevin and cried. Kevin shielded her from direct view of the bodies. Hailey looked anywhere but the bodies—across her, Jay stood with his jaw hardened. They exchanged look, disgust was clear on both their faces.

"No ID, yet," a patrol officer went to Voight. She was equally disturbed, Hailey could see from her red rimmed eyes. "Homeless people found them," she pointed at two homeless guys who stood in the distance.

"Alright. Adam, Kevin, talk to them. Jay, Hailey, find out who they are. Kim, Antonio, look for security cam, then talk to your CIs," said Voight. Hailey caught the officer's arm.

"You okay?" she asked gently. Looking at her wedding ring and her age, she probably had kids their age.

"Yeah, it's just… it's never easy when it involved children. I have two around their age… reminded me of the hell I'm raising my kids in," she wiped her eyes.

"Hug them a little tighter tonight," Hailey forced a smile before letting her go. She took photos of the bodies and checked them quickly, feeling nausea creep in. Jay squeezed her shoulder, sensing her discomfort. Hailey patted his hand to show her appreciation.

"You done, detective?" asked the coroner. Hailey nodded. "I'll have to check more thoroughly, but judging from initial examination, this one died first, around 2 am. This one probably around 3… and they had been moved, and dumped here," said the coroner.

"Thanks," said Hailey, and hauled herself up. She felt Jay walked next to her to the car.

"That was thoughtful, what you said to the officer," Jay touched her elbow.

"Yeah, I figured they probably remind her of her own kids," said Hailey.

"You okay?" asked Jay. Hailey shook her head.

"How can anyone be okay," Hailey broke down as soon as she closed the car door. She sniffled. Jay squeezed her shoulder.

"I know, it was disturbing," Jay mumbled. He kept his hand on Hailey's shoulder as he drove.

Turned out that it was only the beginning of their dreadful day. Hailey and Jay found their identities—one of the boys was reported missing, and they sorted through kids in the same neighbourhood and school, and asked around. Antonio and Voight called the parents to the precinct, each telling a pair of parents. The parents screamed and cried and were inconsolable, and Antonio nearly lost it. He asked Trudy to keep them company, and fled the room. Hailey who was walking by the meeting room caught him and pulled him to the stairs, holding him as he cried, muttering Diego and Eva's names. She looked up and saw Jay who was looking for her to go follow up a lead, and mouthed 'Kim'. Jay disappeared and Kim popped up from on top of the stairs, gently peeling him off Hailey and taking him into her arms. Hailey went to the garage, shooting Kim a sad smile. She knew that if she preferred Jay to be there when she broke down, Antonio might feel the same about Kim.

"You wanna call Diego and Eva?" asked Kim. Antonio nodded. After he calmed down, Kim guided him to sit on the stairs. She sat a step above him so he could lean to her. She stayed with him and held him as he called Diego and Eva.

By evening, they found the stash house in which they probably died, but the house was empty, save for some bags of cocaine. They went back to the district deflated, they had no real progress. Since they determined that there were no more missing children, Voight sent them home before retreating in his office to drink some liquor. Naturally, Hailey and Jay weren't ready to call it a night. So they sat in a booth in Molly's, a beer sat untouched in front of each of them.

"You okay?" asked Hailey. Jay shook his head. "Yeah, me too. It's gonna be a while until I can forget that," she closed her eyes, letting a tear escaped her eye. Jay reached across the table to rub her arm. The act was comforting for both of them.

"I still don't get how people can do that to kids," said Hailey. "Overdosing yourself was one thing, overdosing others was another, but kids? They're sick," she shook her head.

"Yeah," Jay didn't trust himself to speak without breaking down. On top of everything, if he was being selfish, he was afraid of getting a nightmare that night. Dead children used to be one of his trigger as a result of his tour in Afghanistan. He felt someone pulled a stool next to him and hopped on. He sighed; he wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Hey, Will," whispered Hailey. Will sensed the sour mood.

"Sorry, is this not the right time?" asked Will.

"No, it's okay. Stay," Hailey asked. "We had a bad day, sorry."

"Sorry to hear that," Will squeezed Jay's neck. "You guys wanna talk about it?"

"Overdosed kid victims," Hailey said briefly. Will looked disgusted. "Not teenagers, like, seven years olds."

"God grief," Will sighed.

"What's the point of the job if we can't bring back those kids?" Jay looked down at his beer. It was the first sentence he said since they left the district.

"I think Hailey told me that before," Will looked at Hailey, his hand was still on Jay's back. "What was it… the good outweighs the bad?"

"Yeah, although it's hard to say so in this kind of time," said Hailey.

"What good things come from dead kids?" Jay looked at Hailey, his eyes showed grief.

"Good thing like making sure they're the last victim, and whoever responsible would be unable to do so to another child," Hailey shrugged.

"For every criminal we put behind bars, looks like three popped up," Jay complained.

"It's still better than nothing," said Will. Hailey gulped down her beer, feeling relieved as the alcohol burned her throat.

"You get a fresh start tomorrow," Will tried to lift their mood up.

"The case isn't done, tomorrow who knows what we would've find… more dead children?" sighed Jay.

"Hey, don't say that. Come on, let's do what Will said. We go home, come back with fresh eyes tomorrow to wrap up the case and save a few other kids from getting killed," said Hailey. She stood up, went to Jay's side of the table, and hugged him. Jay returned the hug, rubbing her back as he felt her choked up a sob.

"I'll walk you out," Jay looked to Will, silently telling him to wait. Will nodded, reaching over to squeeze Hailey's shoulder. Hailey nodded thank you to Will and walked outside with Jay.

"You're gonna be okay?" asked Jay as he walked her to her car.

"Yeah… an episode of cheesy comedy and wine should do me good," said Hailey. "If you need anything, you know…"

"I know. Call, knock, don't break and enter," joked Jay. He pulled Hailey into a hug. "It goes both ways. Let me know if you need anything," said Jay as he closed Hailey's car door. He waited for her to leave before going back inside to meet Will.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Will. He grabbed Jay's drink and took a sip.

"I'm scared of sleeping, I'll most probably get nightmare," said Jay.

"You had dinner already?" asked Will.

"It's 9 pm," Jay looked at him weirdly.

"Hey, you work for Voight," Will pointed out, to which Jay let out a laugh.

"Even Voight knew how disturbing that was… Hell, he has a grandson. He even bought us dinner, which is a once in a lifetime thing," said Jay.

"Come on, I'll go with you," said Will. He walked up to Natalie and told her that he would stay at Jay's. He went back to Jay's table and wordlessly guided him leaving Molly's.

"What are you two doing at 9 in Molly's?" asked Jay once they entered his car. He was touched that Will very easily dropped everything, including a night out with his fiancée, for him.

"Helen had Owen, we were about to pick him up once he's asleep. We just finished shift, Natalie's got extended—she had a difficult case, and like you, we need to unwind," said Will. They went to Jay's car. "I carpooled with Nat, my car is at the hospital,"

"You don't have to stay with me tonight, I'm not really a nice company," said Jay.

"You were never a good company," jabbed Will. Jay let out a laugh. He drove home, throwing his keys to the table as soon as he walked in his place. He went to the bathroom to freshen up. When he got out of the bathroom, Will is watching TV.

"No game?" asked Jay.

"No, nobody's playing. Even no rerun," said Will. Jay brewed some tea and offered it to Will. "Since when did you drink tea?"

"It's relaxing," shrugged Jay.

"You're aging hard," laughed Will, but accepted the tea. They sat in silence, both pondering about the day they had.

"How are you dealing with things?" asked Will.

"What things?" asked Jay.

"Everything. Dad's death, your nightmares, the case, tell me. I wanna know," said Will.

"In short, how's my therapy going," smirked Jay at Will's attempt to rephrase his actual question. "Therapy went well. Had a setback last week, but all in all, it went as expected. I don't know whether I will get nightmare tonight, with the case… Case was horrible, Will. All cases were, but, this one…"

"Trust me, I know," said Will.

"It hit everyone hard, even Antonio cried like a baby. He's the one with kids, though. I could never… how could people do that?"

"That's why we do what we're doing," shrugged Will.

"I know, but still… it's hard to see the rainbow sometimes," said Jay. He went to his room, pulling out some clothes, and threw it to Will. "Get into the shower, you smelled like hospital."

"You smell like dumpster," jabbed Will.

"The bodies were dumped in a dumpster, but I don't think the smell stuck," said Jay. Will went to the bathroom. When he was done, he saw Jay asleep on the couch. He shook Jay's shoulder cautiously, ready to bolt if Jay went on defensive mode. Jay only stirred and snuggled deeper into the couch.

"Really? Nice of you to give up your bed," snickered Will. After several attempts, he gave up and spread the blanket on top of Jay, then went to sleep in Jay's room.


	23. Chapter 23

Jay woke up at 4, feeling the chill as he remembered the dead children's faces. Upon realising he woke up on the couch, he went to his room, only to see Will asleep on his bed. He didn't feel like sleeping again, when the only thing he saw when he closed his eyes was the dead children's faces and expressions. They died within an hour. How did the second child feel when the first one died? Jay shuddered and poured himself a glass of water before making a split second decision to slip next to Will. He didn't try to sleep, just lying there with his eyes wide awake, being comforted by Will's presence. His brother's presence was calming, and whether he was seven or in his thirties, Will always had that effect on him. His mind floated back to when he came back from the war, he despised sleeping so bad as a result of fear of nightmares. He wondered if he would cope better with the war and PTSD had Will been in Chicago and they had a good relationship.

"What time is it?" murmured Will.

"A bit past four," said Jay.

"Go back to sleep," said Will. Jay sighed, but didn't reply. Will reached in the dark to touch his shoulder and squeezed it. "Don't worry. It'll get better," Will slurred before he fell back asleep.

* * *

"Jay," Will shook Jay's shoulder. "Voight called you. He sent a location for you to go," said Will.

"You picked up the call?" asked Jay.

"It didn't stop, and you didn't wake up," said Will. He was already up and cooking breakfast when Jay's phone rang continuously in the living room. Jay scrolled through his phone and saw the address Voight sent him. He went to the bathroom.

"Come on, I'll drop you off at Med," Jay went to the kitchen. Will was already done washing the utensils. He wrapped breakfast burritos in foils and handed two to Jay, keeping the other two for himself.

"Breakfast. For you and the favourite partner," said Will.

"Give it yourself. We'll pick her up on the way," said Jay.

"Coffee," Will passed him a reusable cup of coffee as they were leaving. Jay rolled his eyes at the single cup of coffee.

"Not bringing Hailey coffee is a suicide if I bring one for myself. She's grumpy enough in the morning," Jay poured coffee into another cup before they went out the door.

"Didn't know that code exists," quipped Will as he followed Jay to the car.

* * *

They picked up Hailey on the way, and even though she looked very tired and had bags under her eyes, she smiled once she saw them. When Will handed her the breakfast and coffee, her eyes twinkled.

"Can you be my partner instead? I'd like to swap Halstead," joked Hailey.

"I'll get off at the hospital then, you can trust him with your life," quipped Hailey.

"Hey, I'm gonna be a great partner," protested Will.

"Sure you will," said Hailey while started eating. When they dropped Will at the hospital, Jay felt his heart swell. Even though they teased him every time they had a chance, they were his support system, and notably the people who stuck with him through everything. The way Will took care of him assured him that despite everything that happened in the past between them, Will would drop everything and come to his rescue anytime, just like when they were little. And Hailey... she had opportunities to swap partner with someone who aren't a liability, but she chose him. There was nothing better than starting the day with them even though they had a case early in the morning.

Jay was grateful for the short relaxed conversation and breakfast in the car between them because that was the only time he was able to even smile during the day. As soon as they arrived at the scene, Antonio and Adam's expressions told them what they dreaded: another child victim.

"No body. A boy is missing," said Antonio. They went to interview witnesses and took security camera footages. The boy walked out of his parents' house on his own, according to the neighbour. There was no ransom call, no clue which led them to fly blind. They went to the precinct, ran the parents' finances, and contacted their CIs to find him. Finally at 10, Voight got a call.

"Gear up. Body," he said with grim expression.

"A child?" asked Kim, voicing what feared by everyone.

"Yes. Come on," said Voight. They all dragged their feet to the crime scene, a swamp in Chicago's suburb. When they arrived, they quickly learned that the dead body didn't belong to the missing boy but to another one, this one looked no older than ten years old. Everyone was upset; Voight tasked Jay and Adam to process the crime scene and talk to the coroner, the task nobody wanted as they had to take photos of the crime scene and body, which is in the process of decaying. Jay couldn't bring himself to look closely at the body. He was caught off-guard when Hailey squatted next to him and touched his shoulder.

"Here, I'll continue. I've finished the interviews, you can wait by the car," said Hailey.

"No, I'm okay," said Jay. "It was just… it was rough."

"Yeah, you can take a break. I insist," Hailey grabbed the note Jay was writing on. Jay obliged, he was feeling a bit sick anyway by seeing the condition of the body.

"If you're sure," said Jay, passing the camera to her. He stood up and squeezed Hailey's arm. "Thank you." He went to the car and waited. He compiled the things he found as well as Hailey's note on the interviews she conducted. He was just done when Hailey jogged to the car.

"You're okay?" asked Hailey concerned when she entered the car. "Anything you need?"

"For this to stop," said Jay.

Hailey just let out a deep breathe. "You're doing better today?"

"Yeah, sorry I was very down yesterday. And Will happened, I felt better," said Jay. "He cares… hence the breakfast."

"Could've gotten used to a homemade breakfast," smirked Hailey. Jay smiled. His mum didn't really teach him how to cook, but she made sure her eldest son was a capable cook to feed his younger brother when she was working.

"We'll pick up lunch on the way, and when we get the scumbag who did those murders, we'll have those deep dish from Lou's, how about that? Not exactly homemade, but it's good," offered Jay. Hailey nodded, flipping through her notebook and camera.

They tracked down where the dead boy had been since went missing in the mall the night before, but they didn't get any useful footage from security cameras. So far, everything they had was useless, and they had three dead children and one missing, and no connection between them except they were close in age.

"I may have found something," said Hailey as she zoomed into one security camera footage. "See what he brought? It's a yo-yo. Next to the body yesterday was a yo-yo. Maybe that's a coincidence, but we have nothing else at this point."

"You're saying that they got abducted because of a yo-yo?" asked Jay. They were sitting in front of monitors in the precinct, food containers sat untouched in front of them. Both were deeply disturbed by the case, but had yet to talk about it.

"Maybe the abductor lured them out with one?" guessed Hailey. "It's worth looking into… I'll call the mall security."

"I'll try yesterday's crime scene, near the house." They worked without saying anything. A couple minutes later, Jay snapped his fingers.

"Bingo! There's a man walking through this street while playing yo-yo. Quite good from what I saw… maybe the kids were amazed by him and he offered to teach them?" asked Jay.

"A risky guess, but worth looking into. Can we do facial rec?" asked Hailey.

"We can, but we won't get a warrant with this," said Jay. He ran the facial recognition program and found a match: Michael Castillo.

"Let's bring it to Sarge," said Hailey, grabbing her food and led their way upstairs. They found Antonio and Kim who were on their computers. Hailey and Jay shared what they found, and Kim immediately ran Michael's finances.

"Nothing suspicious on his bank account. No credit card purchases, looked like he used cash mainly," said Kim.

"Alright. You two, find him, and follow him. Find something to get a warrant. And be quick, a child is missing here," said Voight. They grabbed their jackets before going to the car, still toting their lunch in hope of eating in the car.

"How are you dealing with this?" asked Hailey as they sat in front of their parked car in front of Michael's house. There's a park nearby, and they considered doing the stakeout from there, but finally decided against it. Jay was caught off guard as he was about to ask the same thing to Hailey. She looked more tired this morning than usual. She let her guard down in the car, but as soon as they stepped into the precinct, she left her emotions in the car. Her expression was stoic and stone cold.

"As good as how you're dealing with this," replied Jay. Hailey who was poking her lunch just let out a small smile.

"Was it triggering? Yesterday, and today…" said Hailey.

"I didn't get nightmare, no… actually, I kinda fell asleep accidentally, so that Will had the freedom to sleep on my bed," snickered Jay. "I saw their faces as soon as I woke up, but again, who wouldn't?"

"I couldn't sleep until 3, and I had nightmare," admitted Hailey. "Justified, I'd say… it was disturbing. This whole case is."

"Yeah…" Jay sighed. He was grateful that Will stayed with him last night. "Let me know if you need anything, okay? Anytime."

"Yeah, you too," said Hailey. She took a bite of her lunch before tapping Jay's arm. "That's him." They looked as Michael Castillo walked into his driveway while playing a yo-yo. "How is the possibility that he keeps Anthony there?" asked Hailey. Anthony was the missing child.

"I don't know. This neighbourhood seems normal, that shouldn't be any kid dying as a result of overdose," said Jay.

"I don't know about overdose, but the most normal looking neighbourhoods are where most un-normal things happen," said Hailey.

"How should we find out?" asked Jay. Hailey pulled out some brochures.

"I'll be an internet provider saleswoman, cover me?" asked Hailey. Jay's heart raced. "I'll be fine, but cover me, yeah?" Before Jay could answer, Hailey took off her badge, put her phone on call to Jay's, jumped out of the car, walked to the house and rang the bell.

"Hi, sir, may I interrupt your day for a bit to explain about the new internet provider service? I just went to your neighbours, and some of them are interested. If four houses subscribed together, we can offer you discount," said Hailey once Michael opened the door, her ears were listening to activities inside the house. The house was eerily quiet, maybe she was wrong and this man was actually innocent? However, she couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right about him.

"Actually, I was in the middle of something," said Michael, playing yo-yo.

"I'll be out in a few minutes, sir. This could benefit you and your neighbours, to do the group subscription," said Hailey. "Oh, cool, I play one too when I was in school!" she squealed.

"Come in," said Michael. Hailey stepped into the house. Jay felt uneasy, and this time he was sure it wasn't just his overprotectiveness over his partner or her inclination lately to get hurt. Five minutes later, Hailey stepped out of the house, waving and saying goodbye. She jogged to the car.

"Something's definitely not right. There are two pairs of children shoes. When I asked about his need of internet provider, he said he lives alone and doesn't need an additional child content blocker," said Hailey.

"Any sign of children inside?" asked Jay.

"Aside than the shoes, no," said Hailey. "Hey, he left the house," said Hailey, grabbing Jay's arm. They waited until Michael's car disappeared. "Let's update Voight, and.. should we break in?"

"Go ahead, don't get caught, I'm coming," said Voight when they told him their finding.

"5021 George, is there any patrol cars near 2320 Clark?" Jay spoke into the radio. "I need backup, no siren."

"Coming."

The police car arrived and they made a plan. The patrol officers waited outside and going to alert them if Michael was back while Hailey and Jay went into the house.

"Go, Jay. You're the master of break and entry, aren't you?" asked Hailey. She couldn't help but tease him about him 'breaking' into her house without consent.

"That's a low blow," Jay rolled his eyes.

"Sorry," smirked Hailey.

"If you miss me breaking in you can just say so," teased Jay as Hailey opened the door. "Wow, were you in Robbery Homicide as a cop or suspect?" He referred to Hailey's speed in breaking the lock.

"Shut up, if you admire my speed you can just say so," said Hailey before they cleared the house.

As Jay entered the bedroom, he sensed presence of another person. He cleared the bathroom and then opened the closet. Two boys were lying on the floor.

"Hailey!" yelled Jay into the radio. "This is 5021 George, plain clothes officers requesting ambulances in 2320 Clark. We have two minors, possible victim of drug overdose!" Jay put his fingers to Anthony's neck, searching for pulse. He breathed with relief when he found a faint one, then quickly moved on to the next boy, but didn't find any pulse. His body was still warm, so he started doing CPR. Beside him, Hailey took Anthony away as he started squirming. He was still doing CPR when the paramedics arrived. They took over from him, asked him how long he had been doing CPR, and continued CPR. Jay sat motionless on the floor, watching the paramedics. Hailey squeezed his shoulder.

"Hey, let's get back to the district. We found drugs in the garage," said Hailey. He didn't reply right away.

"Go with Hailey. The paramedics got this," said Voight. He watched the paramedics charged the boy's heart in an attempt to resuscitate him.

"Asystole," said one of them. Hailey pulled him up and guided him outside.

"No, I want to see him," said Jay as they started taking out equipment to restart his heart.

"Come on," said Hailey, guiding him to the car. She took over the driver's seat and drove to the district, neither saying anything on the way. As they climbed up the stairs to Intelligence, Kim looked at them.

"Anthony will survive. They had to pump his stomach, but they are optimist. However, they pronounced the other kid at Med, identity is still unknown. I'm sorry," said Kim. Jay just nodded and went to the pantry. Hailey gave him some space for a few minutes, then followed him and pushed a coffee mug to his hand.

"Talk," said Hailey, pulling a chair so she sat face to face with Jay.

"He was still warm when I got to him," whispered Jay.

"He was already dead when you found him, Jay. But you saved Anthony."

"His face will haunt me," said Jay. "I was very sure he was alive, because he still got that glow on his cheeks. But…"

"I know. Think about the kids you save, prospective victims," Hailey held his arm. She understood Jay's connection with the victim. He found them, he thought he was alive. "Come on, you wanna see the son of a bitch in interrogation?" Jay shook his head no.

The case turned out bigger than they originally thought; and gone down faster than they expected. Michael was part of a drug development gang, and they wanted to test the drug against kids so it would be 'safe' for adult. His task was to source kids to test the drug against, and he flipped on his employer; telling them he had a new kid, but he needed to get rid of the other bodies. They followed the man who met him and raided a warehouse on the south side of Chicago, where the drugs were manufactured. All the employees there pointed out that 'Big Luce' was their boss, but Voight found out that Big Luce was partnered with Linda X, the big boss and funding support. Jay remained stoic through the day, he didn't even flinch when Antonio and he interrogated a member of the gang and he explained what the drug would do to a tiny human being. As he left the interrogation room, Hailey caught up with him. She had been watching him throughout the afternoon, and even though he was impressed by his ability to separate himself from the case, she was concerned for him. She got reminded at the case with his dad, and loathed for it to ever happen again. She swore to herself that if they had to do a raid or chase, she would chain him to her. She would be damned if he got shot again because his emotion got the better of himself.

"How are you feeling?" asked Hailey. Jay shrugged her arm out of Hailey's grab.

"Four kids died, Hailey. It's not time to talk about how I feel," snapped Jay. Hailey was taken aback; that was a tone Jay hadn't use on her for some time now. Ever since they found their newfound friendship, after his dad's death, he became gentler with her. Not that he wasn't before, though, but this tone hadn't been heard since their confrontation after his dad's death. They had this unwritten rule to talk things out; that they would help each other dealing with shit that comes with the job. Jay went past her to the precinct, leaving her in the hallway.

After the case was wrapped, Hailey sat in front of her computer, beginning to write her report. It was 10 pm and the others already went home, wanting to shake the case from their mind before they had to type up the report in the morning. She contemplated to talk to Jay, but figured she would give him space.

"Good job today, Upton. Go home," Voight advised Hailey as he walked past her desk.

"In a bit, Sarge. I wanted to type this up first," said Hailey.

"Don't stay too late," said Voight as he buzzed out of Intelligence. He met Jay in the garage. "She's still upstairs." He didn't need to say who he referred to in order for Jay to understand. Jay nodded and walked up the stairs, wanting to talk to Hailey. He felt guilty after snapping at her, after all she did for him the whole day. She only wanted to be there for him; even taking over his task to process the crime scene when he was overwhelmed. He pulled Adam's chair to sit beside her.

"Lou's?" asked Jay. Hailey glanced at him.

"Really? Now?" asked Hailey.

"You haven't eaten anything since afternoon. Come on, my treat. I need a company," pleaded Jay. Hailey looked at him, knowing that Jay felt guilty for snapping at her. She huffed and shut her computer down.

"We take it to go; I don't want to sit there this late," said Hailey. Jay smirked at her and passed her jacket.

"Sorry I snapped at you. It's just… this case," he let out a deep breathe.

"I know," said Hailey.

"And… thanks for taking over earlier," Jay squeezed her shoulder.

"Anytime. I got your back."

"We're good?" asked Jay.

"We're always gonna be good," said Hailey. Jay pulled her into a hug and felt relief washed over him, immediately comforted by her presence. She could feel the tension in him evaporate as she returned the hug, rubbing his back.

* * *

They took the pizza to go and went to Hailey's place. Jay knew immediately that he would crash at her couch, it was late anyway, and they both might need the company. Hailey went to the bathroom and took a shower while Jay took out some beers and plates. He was texting with Will when Hailey went out of the bathroom.

"Will treated Anthony—he said he was improving and out of the woods. He asked if we want to visit him tomorrow," said Jay. Hailey sighed and sat beside him.

"Do you want to?" asked Hailey. She took a bite of the pizza.

"I'm not ready… what if he asked about the other boy?" said Jay glumly. "I really wish, with everything, that I managed to help him."

"You did everything you could," said Hailey.

"I know," sighed Jay. "You practically saved Anthony, though… you recognised the yo-yo."

"Just something I thought was strange. Glad it worked out," said Hailey. They ate in silence. "When's your next therapy session?" asked Hailey.

"Tomorrow. Next week is supposed to be my last week," said Jay.

"How's it going?"

"It helps. I don't get panic attack anymore. Had yesterday happen last month, I might have panic attack. Dead children… I saw a lot in the war. They were not kids, Hailey. Their world is much more complicated than adults'," Jay looked down.

"We're doing what we can in making our own city safer for kids, so they can stay being kids," Hailey smiled sadly.

"Even though sometimes it felt like we're picking trash in the ocean? Once we picked one, five more being dumped," Jay sighed and drank his beer.

"Even that," said Hailey. She finished her beer and turned on the TV. It was a cue for Jay that their heavy conversation was over. They watched The Bachelorette; Hailey threw comments about the guys while Jay couldn't help but being amused by her reaction and felt the steam from his head evaporating. While Hailey nodded off, Jay poked her arm.

"Go to bed, tomorrow's school day," said Jay. He opened the hallway cabinet and pulled out a blanket, a sign that he was staying. He didn't drink too much, but he didn't feel like driving home.

"Alright. Night," said Hailey while she strutted to her room, leaving Jay watching the rose ceremony.

* * *

_Life got in the way of writing and being inspired... but seeing BTS pictures had helped me in writing. This story had gone far longer than I expected at first, but I'm not ready to end this before the start of Season 7. _


	24. Chapter 24

Hailey woke up in her bed, panting. She saw the dead boy she saw earlier today, decaying but alive. In her dream, he cried because he wasn't able to go home. She sat on her bed, tears streaming down her face as she cried uncontrollably for all the boys that didn't make it home. She controlled her breathing and went to the kitchen to grab a drink. As she waited for the water to boil, she sat on the kitchen stool, relieving her dream again. Next thing she realised, Jay set a mug of tea in front of her and sat beside her. She looked at him. His hair was unruly and he looked sleepy, but concerned. Upon seeing her wet and bloodshot eyes, he closed the gap between them, silently pulling her into his embrace. She burst into tears and buried her face in his shirt.

"It's okay, Hailey. I'm here," whispered Jay, his hand rubbing her back, the other hand holding her protectively. After Hailey retreated to her room earlier, he spent some time laying wide awake, trying to chase away the face of the boys that he saw every time he closed his eyes. He fell asleep to the TV on, playing a rerun of Blackhawks game. He woke up to Hailey's scream and muffled sobs, and while he wanted nothing more than to go to her room and check on her, he remembered her warning about boundaries. As hard as it was to do nothing, that was what he did. He waited. After a while, he heard her door open and she walked to the kitchen. When it was clear that she did not hear him moving around, he poured the water she brew into a mug to make tea.

"Sorry," sighed Hailey, her voice was hoarse. Jay released her, still keeping one hand on her back, absentmindedly stroking her back.

"It's okay," said Jay. "Nightmare?" Jay pulled Hailey up and guided her to sit on the couch, bringing the mug with him.

"Yeah. I saw him… the kid in the swamp," said Hailey, shuddering. She took the mug and sipped the tea.

"I think it's normal for a case to affect you," Jay tried to comfort Hailey.

"Yeah, I know. Still, it doesn't make it easier," said Hailey. Jay instinctively pulled her close, trying to calm her down while taking comfort in her presence at the same time.

"How can I help?" asked Jay.

"I don't know. I don't usually have anyone with me," said Hailey sheepishly. "What time is it?"

"It's… a bit past four, I think," Hailey clasped the mug with her hands and sipped the tea as she calmed down.

"Sorry I woke you up," said Hailey. "Did you have trouble sleeping? Or nightmare?"

"I slept to Blackhawks rerun… saw the kids' faces every time I closed my eyes though," said Jay. "You're ready to go back to sleep?" Hailey shook her head no.

"You nodded off during The Bachelorette. You wanna watch the rerun?" offered Jay. Judging from Hailey's tired and sleepy eyes, it wouldn't take long for her to fall asleep.

"Yeah. You know who got eliminated?" asked Hailey. Jay motioned to the TV. He started the rerun in the middle—he was still amused that Hailey was an avid fan so that she recorded The Bachelorette's episodes. Hailey folded her legs and leaned on the pillow. Jay spread the blanket over Hailey as they watched the drama unfolded—Jay for the second time. When Jay glanced at Hailey ten minutes later, at the beginning of the rose ceremony, Hailey was already asleep.

"Huh, again?" Jay muttered, and then carried Hailey to her bedroom. He laid her on her bed and tiptoed outside, continued watching the rose ceremony until he fell asleep.

* * *

"I can't believe I missed the rose ceremony twice!" Hailey complained as she poured herself coffee. They were already late, so they just had coffee and forgo the breakfast. Earlier Jay had been awake for some time when Hailey woke up, grumbling when she realised that she missed the rose ceremony twice. He just snickered and pointed to the coffee he started earlier. He didn't have the heart to wake her up even if they were already running late, considering the night she had.

"I'll tell you which one got eliminated," said Jay, scrolling through his phone to find poster of the contestants.

"No! Don't spoil it to me!" yelled Hailey. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Hailey, you finally slept after having a nightmare, why would I wake you up just for the sake of watching something you have recorded?" asked Jay. His gaze softened. "You're feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks," said Hailey sheepishly. "Sorry for the inconvenience," she apologised.

"That wasn't an inconvenience, Hailey. You did it for me too often. We're partners; your shit is my shit," Jay repeated what Hailey said to him.

"Thanks," said Hailey as they went out the door to their cars. Hailey stopped to buy muffins and arrived at the district a full five minutes behind Jay.

"Figured I'd say thanks," she plopped the paper bag on Jay's desk as soon as she stepped to Intelligence.

"It goes both ways," said Jay.

"I'll do your report," said Hailey. They were only separated in the crime scene and Michael's house yesterday, so Hailey figured she would do both their reports.

"You sure?" asked Jay.

"Yeah," said Hailey. "Can you update my CI files?" she asked.

"Got it," said Jay. They were soon caught up in their work. Antonio took a day off to visit Diego and Eva, and it seems that all criminals in Chicago were out on vacation so it was a slow day. As soon as the reports were done around lunchtime, Hailey excused herself to get some air. Writing the reports brought back the memories—the boys in the dumpster, the boy in the swamp, finding Jay pumping Anthony's chest—and she wasn't sure she would be able to sleep peacefully later tonight. She went to a coffee shop nearby to pick up sandwich and coffee and clear her thought.

"Aunt Hailey!" she felt her leg being hugged the moment she arrived at an empty table with her tray. She looked down to see Angie looking up at her, giving her a cheeky smile very similar to her own. She squatted down and hugged her niece.

"You're by yourself?" asked Susan, her sister-in-law.

"Yeah… just getting some air," said Hailey.

"You're alright?" Susan frowned. Hailey suddenly realised her lack of sleep and troubled mind were painted clearly on her face.

"Just done with hard case, I haven't been sleeping well," said Hailey. "What are you two doing around here?"

"I need to grab something at the hospital, so I took Angie with me. It's my day off," said Susan. "Are you in the middle of a case? Do you want to take her for an hour or two while I go to the hospital?"

"Sure. You can pick her up at the district," said Hailey. She picked Angie up. "You remember Aunt Trudy?"

"Yes! Aunt Trudy read books!" said Angie.

"You play with Aunt Hailey for a bit, okay, honey? I'll pick you up later," said Susan. Angie nodded excitedly. Susan gave Hailey Angie's cake plate and left them. Hailey ate while chatting with Angie about Angie's time in the daycare. After they were done eating, Hailey walked back to the district with Angie in one hand. Of course, Sergeant Platt raised her eyebrows seeing the duo.

"Bringing the mini-me again?" asked Platt.

"Met her and her mum at coffee shop, mum got something to do, she's gonna pick her up later, in an hour or two," said Hailey, lifting Angie and placing her on top of the counter. "See who this is?" she asked Angie.

"Aunt Trudy," whispered Angie shyly.

"Hello, kid. You remember me?" asked Platt.

"You read books," said Angie. Platt smiled and received Angie's hug.

"Bring her upstairs, Upton. I will catch up with her later," said Platt when some patrol officers came in. Hailey carried Angie upstairs and sat at her desk. Jay's eyes were on some reports and didn't realise Angie's presence.

"Hi, little Hailey," said Kim as she walked in from the break room. Jay's head snapped up. She was just about to text Hailey; concerned about her fleeing the district all of a sudden. His gaze fell on the little girl sitting on top of Hailey's desk, a splitting, albeit younger and noticeably cuter, image of his partner. He suddenly imagined Hailey as a toddler, with innocent smile and bright eyes, before seeing the brutality of the world.

"Hi, Angie!" Jay couldn't help but smile seeing the little girl. He shot Hailey a questioned look.

"Jay!" Angie raised her hands. Jay went around their desks and picked Angie up.

"My sister-in-law has to pick something up at the hospital. I accidentally met them at Lolly's," said Hailey. Angie squirmed in Jay's hold.

"You're okay?" asked Jay as he sat on Hailey's desk, bouncing Angie on his lap.

"Yeah... the report isn't exactly pleasing to write," said Hailey. "Susan knew I've been having a hard time, I think that's why she offered Angie to me."

"Nice. It's good that you bumped into them," said Jay.

"Yeah…" Hailey nodded. She read her report one last time then sending it to Voight. "I've sent you the report. Just fill in the blanks."

"Thanks. Sorry you have to relieve it," said Jay.

"Hi, daddy," teased Adam. Jay shot him a murderous look. Hailey grabbed Angie from Jay and went to the break room. Angie was babbling a story about Barney—the purple dinosaur she adored. Hailey didn't watch a lot of kids channel, but she knew enough to join in the conversation with Angie.

"Upton, you can leave early today. Go to Med, take Halstead. Anthony's parents would like to meet you two," said Platt as she went to the break room later. Hailey was playing with Angie. Platt took over and read a book she brought.

"Okay," said Hailey, peeking outside to see Jay on his computer. Hailey sat with Angie and Platt, listening to the story Platt read.

After two books, Hailey excused herself and sat beside Jay who was no longer looking at his computer. "You're done completing the report?"

"Yeah, just done," said Jay. "He didn't have a pulse, but he was still very warm," he mumbled, almost to no one. "If only we were minutes earlier…"

"I know," said Hailey sympathetically. "Platt said Anthony's parents want to meet us."

"Yeah… I'll clear my mind first," said Jay.

"I'll come with you," said Hailey. Jay looked at her, ready to refuse. "We both need the company," she shrugged. "I have Angie's company to keep me grounded. You need company too."

"Suit yourself," said Jay.

"I'll take Angie," said Hailey.

"Okay," said Jay once he printed his report and put it on Voight's desk. He followed Hailey to the break room and listened to Platt's book reading. "Do you want ice cream, Angie?" asked Jay as Angie climbed to Hailey's lap after Platt was done.

"Yes!" Angie jumped from Hailey's lap, facing Hailey. "You want ice cream too, Aunt Hailey?"

"Of course," said Hailey. "See, even she knows I'm coming," she put on Angie's jacket and the three of them took a walk. The weather had been pleasing, warm for a late October.

"I have therapy tonight," said Jay. "It's supposed to be second to last session, the next one being next Friday," said Jay.

"And how was it overall? Do you find it helping?" asked Hailey.

"Generally, yes. Last year, hell, last month, this case would've given me panic attack. I'm really proud I didn't get nightmare. Sorry," said Jay, being cautious. He knew this case affected Hailey greatly. She once mentioned that she got triggered by children's death.

"It's okay. It affected everybody differently. I've seen worse in Robbery-Homicide, and it always triggers me. Kid victims," said Hailey.

"I think when you stopped reacting to cases, it's when you have to start rethinking about the job," said Jay. He smiled when Angie dropped her toy and Hailey picked it up, brushing dust from it, and gave it back to Angie.

"My sister-in-law is going to meet us in Jeannie's to pick her up," said Hailey. They walked to the ice cream place two blocks away from the district, Hailey and Angie were chatting along the way, holding hands and bouncing their steps. Jay let his mind zoned out; it's like trading place with Will, taking a toddler out. He couldn't believe his once reckless older brother was going to get married; earning himself a stepson from the marriage. He had seen Will with kids, but it's hard to picture him actually raising one.

"What flavour do you like?" asked Angie, poking at Jay's arm. She was on Hailey's arm, sharing a trial flavour with Hailey.

"I like chocolate chip," said Jay.

"Me too. How many scoops do I get, Aunt Hailey?" asked Angie.

"You had cake earlier with your Mum, so one scoop. I will get two, you can taste mine," decided Hailey.

"I'll have the chocolate chip please," said Angie politely. Hailey beamed proudly at her niece. Angie reached forward to grab her ice cream cup. After Hailey and Jay got their ice creams, they paid and sat in the corner booth.

"May I try yours?" asked Angie, her hand was already halfway to Hailey's cup. Hailey nodded. She wiped Angie's mouth afterward. Jay smiled at the scene in front of him. To others, they might look as a family. He never imagined having one of his own before; after everything that he had seen, he always thought that the world is cruel and the least he could do is to not bring a child into it. However, after having two 'family outings', he felt most at ease when he had child around. Slowly he could imagine a family in the future, although not in the immediate future.

"Jay, hey," Hailey kicked his legs under the table.

"Ouch! What?" asked Jay, snapped out of his thought.

"Angie asked if she can try the vanilla flavour," said Hailey.

"Of course," Jay pushed his cup to Angie who knelt on her seat excitedly. Angie took a spoonful of ice cream, then plopped back down to her seat.

"Thank you," said Angie sweetly.

"You were this sweet when you were little?" teased Jay to Hailey.

"Nope, not a chance," smiled Hailey.

"Can I have your wafers?" asked Angie.

"Yes," Hailey bit hers before passing it to Angie. Jay snickered.

"Oh, you're so ready to be a mum. Other mums I see, they give their wafers without being asked. You bit it first," said Jay, amused.

"Her mum would give her her wafers, plus asking for extra. I'm her aunt, I don't play by the rules," said Hailey.

"She's adorable," chimed an elderly lady who sat in the booth behind Jay.

"Thank you," said Hailey.

"Do I get to stay with you tonight?" asked Angie, squeezing herself to Hailey's lap and looked up at Hailey, giving Hailey her best puppy eyes. Her ice cream was forgotten on the table.

"No, I have to go to work tomorrow," said Hailey.

"Mum works tomorrow too," said Angie. Hailey nodded, eating Angie's ice cream. Jay snickered and shook his head in disbelief.

"What? It's practically mine," Hailey reasoned before laughing. "I'll stay in Nana and Papa's on Saturday, you can come and play with me if your mum allows."

"Okay," said Angie. She waved her hand at her mum who approached them, but snuggled deeper into Hailey's chest. "I wanna play with Aunt Hailey," she whined.

"Aunt Hailey is working. Aren't you?" asked Susan, throwing Hailey a look.

"I am," said Hailey, then looking at Susan. "Thanks for lending her. Exactly what I needed."

"Feeling better?" asked Susan, putting her hand on Hailey's shoulder. Jay could see why Angie is like the mini version of Hailey. Susan is the splitting image of Hailey; he would've thought they were siblings had he not known otherwise. They both have bright blue eyes, blonde locks, dimple, and similar built. Hailey nodded. "You wanna come over for dinner tonight?" asked Susan.

"No, traffic back from your place will be hell, and besides, you would have trouble peeling Angie off me to go to bed," said Hailey.

"That's true," shrugged Susan. "You should've come anyway if you needed your Angie hug," she scolded Hailey lightly.

"Yeah, sorry. Had a bad case yesterday and finished pretty late," said Hailey. Susan squeezed her shoulder, encouraging her to elaborate. "Drugged children, we found them too late."

"Wow. Sorry for that," said Susan.

"Oh, this is Jay, my partner. Jay, this is Susan, my sister-in-law. However similar we look, we aren't related by blood," said Hailey.

"Heard about you from this little one," Susan toyed with Angie's curls after shaking Jay's hand. "Thanks for watching Hailey's back."

"Nice to meet you. She did mine too," said Jay.

"Come on, Angie, let's go home," said Susan. Angie clung to Hailey's neck, unwilling to let go. After several trials, finally Angie was on her feet, ready to go home. She waved at Hailey and Jay as she was being led outside by Susan.

"Isn't she the cutest," said Hailey, still waving at Angie. "You're ready to meet Anthony and his parents?"

"Yeah… let's go," they walked back to the district and jumped in the car.

* * *

Med was chaotic when they arrived. They walked in via ER entrance per usual, and rode the elevator up to Anthony's room. Jay's steps became slower as they exited the elevator.

"You're okay?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah… I think so," said Jay. His voice sounded surer than how he was feeling inside. He didn't feel he had the right to look Anthony and his parents in the eyes while he failed to save the other boy.

"Come on," said Hailey. They walked along the corridor until they arrived at Anthony's room. Hailey knocked. Anthony's mum was on his bedside, holding his hand, talking softly. From what Hailey could see, Anthony was awake, but weak.

"Hi, Mam, Sir. Detectives Upton and Halstead, we're with the CPD," said Hailey. Anthony's mum jumped from her seat.

"You're the one who found him?" asked Anthony's mum.

"Yes, we did," said Jay. He glanced at Hailey who nodded reassuringly.

"Oh, my god. Thank you!" Anthony's mum leaped to embrace Jay, who was shocked at such an outburst of emotion. He managed to pat her in the back, before she moved to do the same to Hailey. Hailey returned the hug.

"Glad to see him again," said Hailey.

"Officer…" Anthony called softly from the bed, pointing to Hailey. Hailey understood. Anthony woke up when Hailey carried her out from the bedroom. He was heavily drugged that Hailey wasn't sure he would remember her, but apparently he did. "Thank you. I remember you." He raised his hand to grab Hailey's, as if making sure she was real.

"My name is Hailey," said Hailey. "This is Jay. He found you."

"Thank you," said Anthony. Jay shook his hand. "May I ask?" asked him. Hailey looked at Jay, who fully anticipated the question.

"Ask away," said Jay.

"What happened to the boy who was with me?" asked Anthony. Jay shot a look to the boy's mum, shaking his head a little. "Did he die?"

"Yes," his mum blurted out. "He didn't make it, these detectives just told me. I'm sorry."

"I thought so, he suddenly stopped squirming," said Anthony, leaning towards Hailey. Hailey pulled him into a hug, cradling him just like she did when he was found. "I was in and out, but I remember. I remember you saying I will be okay."

"I'm glad you're okay though," said Hailey. Jay put his hand on her shoulder, knowing that this must be relieving for her. Hailey had tears down her face. She was grateful for her part in saving Anthony, and although they couldn't save everyone, but at least Anthony was spared from death. His parents were given another chance to see their kid.

"What is his name?" asked Anthony suddenly. "He didn't seem to realise I was there."

"Kenny. He was 8," said Jay.

"May I ask something, Detective?" asked Anthony's mum. She glanced outside. Hailey wanted to be the one answering her question since Jay was very reluctant to even meet them. But Anthony still had his hand clutching hers, so she didn't have any choice but to let Jay follow her outside. Hailey looked at the balloons and cards around Anthony's bed and read all of them, asking Anthony about each sender.

As Jay and Anthony's mum walked back in, Hailey couldn't help but observe Jay's gesture. She could tell something was bothering him. She pulled out her phone.

"We're needed somewhere else. It's been a pleasure meeting you," Hailey patted Anthony's shoulder. "You work on getting better, okay? Mam, thank you for letting us see him. For me, it was… a relief, to see him doing better than yesterday."

"Likewise, detectives. Thank you so much for saving him. I could never repay you, and everyone, thank you," Anthony's mum shook their hands. "It's a step forward for him too. He told me over and over about a lady who saved him, and carried him like he was a baby, making him feel safe. He needed to know that it was real and not hallucination… he feared about the effect of the drugs."

After saying goodbye, they left the room. Once they were alone in the parking lot, Hailey touched Jay's arm. "What's wrong? What did you talk about outside?"

"She asked why he was abducted. Why him, of all children. Was he chosen purposively? And I had to tell her that it was random. She looked like she was expecting answer like, it was her enemy, or her husband's mistress, or something, but no, it was random. There was no answer," Jay shook his head.

"Yeah… I know. She wants to make sure it doesn't happen again, and she can't," Hailey sighed.

"Anthony seems to remember you well," said Jay.

"He stirred when I carried him downstairs, but I didn't realise he was awake," said Hailey. "That helped me too, though… I got closure. I might be able to sleep well tonight."

"Not for me," it was turn for Jay to sigh. He felt relieved that Anthony is going to be alright, but he couldn't get rid of the sinking feeling in his gut about not being able to save Kenny. If only he realised about the yo-yo pattern before Hailey did; if only they busted the house earlier; if only he got there faster… all the what-if thoughts loomed in his head.

"I'm sorry. If you need to talk…" Hailey gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.

"I know," said Jay.

"If it makes you feel better, we saved Anthony," said Hailey.

"Yeah, we did," Jay turned to face his partner, offering her a smile.

"It matters, Jay. At the very least, he survived. It's a good thing, and we have to hold on to that in order to move on," said Hailey. She still had her hand on Jay's arm. Her heart was broken too by another victim's death and she rejected point blank to be even in the district when Kenny's parents were being notified. Still, she felt better after meeting Anthony, and it felt wrong for Jay to have his guilt intensified. She considered it a win to be able to save Anthony, while for Jay it felt like a loss to not being able to save Kenny.

"I know," sighed Jay. "Thanks, Hailey. Appreciate your concern," Jay pulled her into a side hug.

"Anytime. Do you want to grab something to eat after your therapy session?" asked Hailey. She knew Jay needed it, especially after the therapy session. It was no doubt he would talk about the traumatic case, and judging from past experiences, he needed to be distracted afterward.

"I might finish at 9.30, isn't it too late?"

"Is it ever too late to grab pizza? We just did yesterday," said Hailey. "Give me a call once you're done."

"Alright. Hey, drive safely," Jay walked Hailey to her car and waited until she drove away.

* * *

_An extra long one because I've been missing Angie. I hope I would be able to wrap this story before the new season, but life got in the way! Hoping for new materials to write about in the new season, and incorporate the new character into the fics. _


	25. Chapter 25

Hailey reached for her ringing phone from the floor. She fell asleep shortly after watching recording of The Bachelorette—finally knowing the result of the Rose Ceremony. She didn't realise she had dropped her phone until it started ringing—waking her up from her nap.

"Hey, yeah," she answered sleepily, knowing that it would be Jay calling after his therapy session.

"I can't believe how heavy of a sleeper you are," grumbled Jay. Hailey just realised there was a constant knock on the door. She ran to the front door and opened it, revealing a wet Jay shaking his umbrella. "If I'm not allowed to welcome myself in, at least open the door quickly. It's pouring really hard."

"I was asleep," defended Hailey weakly. "I thought we're meeting for pizza?"

"It's pouring, I don't want you to drive in this weather," Jay shrugged. Hailey smiled, touched by his thoughtfulness. She shook Jay's umbrella above her mat, keeping the water droplets from the floor. Jay let himself in, setting a takeout bag on her kitchen counter. "Pad thai?" asked Jay.

"Perfect. Thanks," said Hailey. They ate in silence, occasionally discussing about who got to eat which appetizers. "How's therapy?" asked Hailey after they were done with the food.

"Did better than I expected," said Jay. "I didn't think going to therapy voluntarily will be helpful… but looking back, I would still get nightmares and PTSD if you and Will didn't push me to go. Next session is my last."

"And how are you dealing with you dad's death?" asked Hailey carefully. The last time she asked about his dad, he lashed out at her in the interrogation room.

"Didn't think about that too often. I guess… it was mostly guilt, for not being in a good term with him. Man was stubborn," said Jay. "Found out that he kept track of Will and me. I spent my life thinking I wasn't good enough."

"You don't think highly enough of yourself. I'm sure he was proud of you," said Hailey.

"Yeah, he had a funny way of expressing it. He made peace with Will, though. I was always my mum's child," Jay smiled. "Well, I was too late, but I have moved on."

"There's no use to dwell in the regret," nodded Hailey. "I'll do a therapy session tomorrow, for this case. I always do after cases involving children."

"My trigger used to be bomb, blown up bodies, especially children. Now, it's people I care about," said Jay. "That's why…" his words left unsaid. He knew Hailey understood, though. He made it clear enough that _she_ was part of his triggers. It was hard for him to accept that she had snuck up on him, and it terrified him that she knew that. After Erin, he vowed not to care too much about his partner. He played with fire with Erin, and he got burned in the ass by caring, even loving her. Being partnered with stone-faced frozen hearted Hailey Upton was a good thing in the beginning to keep him from making the same mistake; it should be easy to keep things professional. However, recent events proved that Hailey's safety and well-being means a lot for him, and he relied on those things to keep him from going insane.

"I know," Hailey nodded. She smiled sadly at him, flattered that he thought of her so highly.

"Talking of, let me thank you for all your help. I wouldn't survive without you," said Jay.

"No need. Remember, your shit is my shit. I'd do it again anytime," said Hailey.

"I know. I just need to thank you properly; I can't imagine anyone would've stuck with me through everything after I treated them like shit."

"Again, no need to thank me, but suit yourself. Who am I to say no to dinner? Although, we were just having dinner on your expense," teased Hailey.

"I have something else in mind," shrugged Jay, passing Hailey his phone. Hailey looked at the screen then gasped. Two lower level tickets for Chicago Blackhawks.

"No, you shouldn't. That's too much," said Hailey.

"I have an Army friend who works in Blackhawks ticketing, he helped me secure them for fraction of the price," reasoned Jay. "Come on, they're non-refundable. As much as I want to watch it with Will, he's not a good sports companion right now with the wedding coming."

"Alright," Hailey grinned. "Who can say no to that, anyway? However, you should tell me that you have friend in Blackhawks! I'm their huge fan!"

"That'll ruin this," said Jay.

"Yeah, you really know how to surprise a girl," said Hailey. "However, I do everything because I care, you don't have to repay me. Treat Will, spend some time with him, make up for the time you lost."

"Funny, he said the same thing. That I shouldn't thank him, and save it for you," said Jay. He felt warmth seeped through his veins when he realised that he was very lucky. He had no idea what had he done right in his life to deserve people like Will and Hailey in his life. Both cared about him and are equally protective about him.

"See, we both got your back for free," said Hailey.

"I know."

"You talked about today's case in therapy session?" asked Hailey. She knew she shouldn't ask, it was confidential, but they were past the stage of caring about confidentiality.

"Yeah. She helped me to see it the way you did. That saving Anthony was a success, regardless of the result for the other kids. And it should let us learn that next time, we can look for small clues from the beginning," said Jay.

"It was easier said than done, though. Not to be a party pooper, but I'm still not sure I would sleep well," Hailey shrugged. "Although I just snoozed on the couch," she quickly added, knowing Jay would tease her about being a heavy sleeper. Jay smirked.

"You finally watched the rose ceremony?" asked Jay. Hailey nodded. "I thought that would be your third time missing it," Jay laughed. His phone went off. "Halstead. Alright, I'll pick her up and go there."

Hailey was already grabbing her coat, knowing that she's the 'her' Jay talked about. They did that a lot lately, pretended to pick the others up while reality was, they were with each other, doing their thing: eating, talking, drinking; and while they did so for Jay's sake in the beginning, she had to admit that she found some solace in it, too. They didn't want to give the wrong impression to Voight, though, with how he reacted to the previous incident.

"See, I should be asleep so that the call would go unanswered," joked Hailey as they left the house. "What happened?"

"Ray Price's daughter was abducted," grimaced Jay.

"Oh, snap. She's what, eighteen?"

"Yeah, I think so," said Jay. "Come on, let's reunite one more family."

* * *

The case was a sensitive one; it was about a politician after all. They and Adam were the only ones going to Price's house, since they got a note not to call the police. They went in pretending to be a couple, bringing a pretend box of cake, in case the house was being watched. They went to Jasmine's room from where she was taken, looked for traces, and left Adam there in case of a ransom call, and left to the district.

The moment they stepped into Jasmine Price's room, they could tell that it was a messy job. Brave, for sneaking into a politician's house from a window, but messy. Traces were everywhere, and within an hour, they got a name and address. Antonio who just got back from meeting Eva and Diego joined them just as they were leaving to the address. Voight sent Antonio and Jay to the address, pretending to be plumbers acting on report about smell coming from the house. As they went to the house, Jay's instinct kicked over. He didn't know whether it was real instinct or regret since last time they barged in to a house, they were minutes too late. He chose to act upon it as he went to check the pipes under the sink. He placed a bug, knowing that Hailey would get an audio from inside the van across the street.

"Well, how was it?" asked Jay as soon as they hopped back into the van.

"No audio so far," said Hailey. "Antonio, you alright?"

Now that Jay saw him clearly, Antonio did look unwell; he was pale and shaking hard. Hailey put a hand to his forehead and was met by a radiating heat coming off him.

"Wow, Antonio, you shouldn't even be coming in," she commented. "Here," she tossed him a blanket, knowing that there was nothing more they could do in the surveillance van.

So many things were happening at once. Antonio writhed, leaned over, and threw up in the trash can. As Hailey moved to help him, a yelling was heard from the speaker, followed by a shriek by a lady.

"Wait here, tell Voight!" Hailey brushed her hand against Antonio's back, then went to the door, following Jay to jump out of the car. "5021 Henry, plain clothed officers going to 2432 Henderson Street, send back up! Possible abduction victim!" She yelled to her radio while following Jay to the house.

"Chicago PD!" Jay kicked down the door, then went to the kitchen where he planted the bug. They saw Jasmine Price on the floor, being choked by the suspect who was on top of her. "Step away from her!" yelled Jay.

"Sir, step away from her!" yelled Hailey. As soon as the suspect got off her, Hailey cleared the house, holstered her weapon, and went to Jasmine; she knew Jay had his weapon trained on the suspect, and shortly after she heard the click of the cuff. Hailey undid ties on Jasmine's arms and ankles quickly, and did a quick check on her.

"Jasmine, we're Detectives Upton and Halstead. You're okay, you're safe now," said Hailey as Jasmine gasped and cried and hugged her. She took the younger girl into her arms, glancing at Jay who was handing over the man to some parole officers. She calmed Jasmine down as best as she could. They were still sprawled on the floor when Voight and Ray Price walked into the house.

"Papa!" shrieked Jasmine. Price scooped her up, hugging her tightly.

"Good job," said Voight. Jay pulled Hailey up; his eyes were still trained on the Prices. Hailey looked at him with concern. Sure, it was 1 am, but usually he didn't zone off on the job. Looking at the father and daughter, Jay was brought back to the moment his mum greeted him when he got back from Afghanistan. The family life he would never experience anymore, now that Will's the only one he got left. Therapy helped him to deal with reality, however he still longed family's love to come home to. Hailey's elbow on his arm brought him back from his thought. He looked away from the Prices, distraught was visible on his face.

"Thank you, Hank. Detectives," Price nodded to them from behind his daughter's shoulder. They nodded and got back to the van.

"You okay?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah… no. Later. Antonio first," said Jay, jogged to the car. Hailey's eyes suddenly widened when she remembered about Antonio. She opened the back door to reveal Antonio lying on the floor, hands around his abdomen, his face pale and sweats dripped down his face, even in the cold weather.

"Oh gosh, Antonio," she climbed in and wiped the sweat off Antonio's forehead. She cringed at the smell of vomit lingering in the van. Antonio was shivering hard, his face was scrunched up in pain. Hailey checked his pulse; it was rapid.

"I'll drive to Med," said Jay, running to the front.

"No," said Antonio weakly, followed by a hitched breath and another gag. He looked half conscious, which made Jay more worried.

"Nope, no choice," said Jay.

"You're most definitely sick, Antonio," said Hailey. She forego sitting in front, choosing to sit on the floor next to Antonio, trying to make him more comfortable as she wrapped the blanket around him. Antonio was lying on the floor, his head on Hailey's lap and Hailey rubbed his back repeatedly. He moaned every time Jay hit a pothole or change lanes.

"Jay, we're not wearing safety belt, and he's sick," reminded Hailey when Jay made a turn without pushing break. Hailey texted Voight about what happened, and within minutes, they pulled up at Med ER. As the door opened, Antonio was being taken and wheeled into the ER.

"Wow, that was…" Jay appeared in the door. "We better throw away the trash can before returning the van," said Jay.

"Yeah. I'll go with Antonio, you throw away the trash?" she grinned, then hopped off the van. "I'll be in the ER." She squeezed Jay's arm before walking inside. Maggie pointed to a room which she entered and met by Will and Ethan.

"Hailey," Will nodded, acknowledging her arrival.

"He's suddenly sick in stakeout, vomited once, shivering, high temperature, fast pulse," said Hailey.

"Right. Anything hurt, Antonio?" asked Will.

"Cold," said Antonio. Will yelled a number of tests to be ran, then escorted Hailey outside.

"You know if he's on prescription?" asked Will.

"No," said Hailey. Jay joined them, patting Will on the shoulder.

"Called Voight, told him what happened. Kim will be here shortly," said Jay.

"Emergency contact is Voight, Will," said Ethan. A team of nurse went past them, pushing a gurney. Hailey jumped out of the way.

"We'll be in the waiting room," said Jay and led Hailey to the waiting room. It was past 2 am, and they were both tired as hell, especially Jay who just had a therapy session. He yawned.

"You can sleep if you want, I'll stay awake," said Hailey. He looked at her sceptically. "Really, I'll keep my eyes opened! I had slept earlier," Hailey laughed.

"Alright. Wake me up if there's anything," said Jay. He rested his head on the armrest. Hailey moved so he could be more comfortable. "No, it's okay. You don't have to move," said Jay, intending it as 'don't move'. Hailey shrugged, stayed where she was and opened a year-old magazine. Jay's head brushed against her arm, from which he gathered extra comfort. He didn't need someone to stay anymore for him to sleep, but in time when he was disturbed, a companion was always welcomed. In a couple minutes, Jay was already asleep. When Voight, Kim, and Adam arrived, Hailey shook her head, indicating no news. They sat silently in the opposite chairs, minding their own businesses. Will and Ethan's arrival in the waiting room half an hour later broke the silence.

"Well," said Will. "Sergeant Voight, we'd like to speak with you," he said, uncomfortably. Voight raised his eyebrows, then nodded and followed Will. Hailey shook Jay's arm. Adam flinched, knowing what would happen: Jay would attack Hailey like he did to him once. The ex-Ranger couldn't be disturbed in his sleep. Therefore he was rightfully surprised when Jay just stirred, looking up at Hailey whose hand was still on his arm. Adam was taken aback. It was a surprise. A couple weeks back—after Jay's dad died—Jay nodded off on his desk, and jumped into a defence position when Adam tripped on his desk.

"Will just called Voight," said Hailey. Jay nodded.

"Oh, uh, okay," said Jay, and fell back into the armrest. He didn't even notice the others. Hailey shrugged, looking at Kim and Adam. Adam looked as drained as Jay and her, while Kim just looked sleepy since she was dragged out of bed at 2 am. Voight walked back into the waiting room.

"Well?" asked Kim. Hailey shivered uncomfortably. The last time they were all sitting in Med's waiting room, Voight announced Al's death. Jay squinted at Hailey, knowing what was on her mind. He brushed his hand on her arm as they all stood.

"Antonio has… opioid overdose," said Voight.

"What!?"


	26. Chapter 26

Everyone stood still, no one knew what to say or how to act upon the news. Hailey heard Kim gasped, and her face went paler than normal. Adam put a hand on her shoulder, and Hailey didn't miss the moment when Kim shrugged his hand off her.

"How can?" asked Kim.

"He got injured a while back and got it prescribed, then he sourced it independently. Now, no one talk about this. Go home, see you at the district," said Voight, dismissing them.

"Can I see him?" asked Kim.

"You don't know about this. Anyone asks, Antonio is taking leave to attend to family matter," said Voight.

"Sarge? Are you sure?" asked Adam.

"Positive," said Voight. He walked back to the hallway. "Go home, see you in the afternoon. Do your paperwork," he disappeared in the hallway.

Hailey didn't know what to do, but she felt Jay's hand on her shoulder. It was just like Al's death. The news was hard to digest. Antonio is the cleanest of all cops, they were sure of that. He didn't even want to make up a story to protect his colleagues, as he did with Voight. He wouldn't do drugs. He didn't have problem with his personal life, as far as they knew of. Of course, she was not close with Antonio, but she counted on Antonio to hold the moral standard high.

"What have I done? I should realise something was wrong with him… I'm his partner!" Kim slid to the chair. Adam sat beside her and held her.

"It's not your fault, Kim," said Jay.

"Would you still say the same if it was Hailey?" asked Kim, shrugging Adam's hand off. Jay was taken aback. He didn't answer, but his hand squeezed Hailey's shoulder harder. Hailey couldn't see him without turning to face him, but she knew it hit hard to Jay without Kim realising it. She reached for Jay's hand, giving it a pat.

"Kim," Hailey surprised herself by kneeling in front of Kim. "As guilty as you feel, he hid it well enough if you didn't realise it. And right now, the only thing we can do for him is to do whatever Voight said. To not talk about this, and wait until either of them says anything," she said, rubbing Kim's arms. After a while, Kim stopped crying, and nodded. "Would you drive her home, Adam?" asked Hailey.

"No, I can drive," said Kim.

"But…" Adam trailed off.

"No," said Kim firmly. She didn't want to be vulnerable near Adam, no, there's too much history between them.

"We'll follow you home then," said Jay. He was tired, and sleepy, and longed for Hailey's couch or his bed, whichever is nearer. On Kim's nod of approval, they went to the parking lot. Hailey put her hand on Jay's back, knowing how disturbed he was. On the way, they passed Will.

"Jay," Will stopped them. He eyed Jay with concern; he knew the news would surprise Jay, hell, it would surprise anyone who knew Antonio. He sent text messages, but Jay had yet to read them. "You okay?" He asked with visible concern, pulling Jay into a hug.

"Yeah… not really. I'll talk to you later," said Jay.

"Alright. Hang on there," said Will. Jay just nodded, and left.

"We'll wait for you on the exit gate," said Jay to Kim once they reached the parking lot.

"Guys, I'm fine. I don't need an escort," said Kim. Hailey and Jay shared looks. They were both equally concerned about Kim and didn't want her to drive alone at 3 am. However, both of them were tired as hell; they hadn't really slept.

"Alright, text both of us when you got home," said Hailey. "If you don't text in 30 minutes, I'll send a search party."

"Yes, mum, dad," teased Kim, smirking. She didn't even ask whether they drove together to the hospital. She wasn't called for the case with Price's daughter, but she knew they most likely carpooled. Jay is very protective towards Hailey; he didn't let her drive to crime scene alone if it was in the shady area or at night. Conversely, Hailey protected Jay fiercely from the emotional parts of the job; Kim was sure she wasn't the only one who realised that Hailey took over processing the dead child's crime scene. Everyone noticed their closeness lately, especially after they butted heads in the fire investigation that killed Halstead Senior, but nobody dared to question why or how. Jay was a better person and colleague after that, though, he didn't make reckless decisions like previously and kept his head cool more often, so it was a win for everyone.

"Be careful, Kim," Hailey patted her shoulder. "If you need to talk…"

"Yeah, I know," said Kim. "Thanks, guys," she walked to her car, knowing both Hailey and Jay were watching her back until she went into her car. The two of them went into Jay's truck, drove silently to Hailey's place. Once they arrived, Jay sat heavily on the couch, burying his head into his hand. Hailey changed her clothes; she did sit on the surveillance car's floor with Antonio, who knows what filthy things had been on the floor. When Hailey exited her room in sweatpants and hoodie, Jay was rummaging her alcohol cabinet.

"It's past 3 am," Hailey protested weakly, but received the tequila Jay passed her. She gulped the alcohol, feeling the liquor burning his throat.

"Can you believe it?" asked Jay. Hailey shook her head, sitting beside him on the couch. "Had you… with painkillers?"

"No!" Hailey looked at Jay. "Why did you think that?"

"I don't know, it's just… you got hurt a lot lately. You had painkillers prescribed. And Antonio…" Jay trailed off.

"Antonio was a surprise. But, I'm clean," said Hailey. "We don't know what got into Antonio, guess we'll find out later… but you have my words, however dark my mind is, I would never…" said Hailey. She knew Kim didn't intend to offend Jay or trigger his thought, but it hit home to Jay, who a couple hours earlier just declared that her safety means a lot to him. The therapy helped, of course, but mentioning possibility of her overdosing did nothing to comfort Jay.

"You'll tell me if you even consider it?" asked Jay.

"I won't consider it, but, yeah," said Hailey. "Same goes to you. If things get hard for you, I'll drink some tequila with you instead," Hailey yawned. They both sat in silence, trying to comprehend the events that happened in a day. "I feel bad for Kim, though. She must be thinking whether he was using when they were on duty."

"Talking about her; has she texted?" asked Jay. He looked at his phone. "Yeah. Well, we don't have to go to work until afternoon," he shrugged, showing the clock to Hailey. 3.30 am. Hailey yawned.

"You'll sleep well?" asked Hailey, concerned. While Jay had gone to therapy and solved the guilt regarding the kid's death, she could see that Jasmine Price's kidnapping and Antonio's overdose disturbed him. Antonio and Jay were close; from what she knew, Antonio brought Jay into Intelligence.

"I hope so. We'll talk in the morning," said Jay. "Night, Hailey."

"Night. More like morning, though," Hailey quipped. She squeezed Jay's shoulder as she walked to her room. She slept the moment her head hit the pillow.

* * *

When Hailey woke up at 6 am, she went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. She saw Jay sitting on the couch, looking ahead, but his eyes were blank.

"Jay?" asked Hailey, sitting beside him. She intended to slip back to bed, but she couldn't help but acknowledging Jay who seemed unattached with the world.

"I nearly got addicted to painkillers," said Jay. "That was the tour after my mum died. I came back, with Mouse… I did nothing but screwing around, picking up some fights. Injured my shoulder, got painkillers. It felt good. I started buying it," Jay looked at Hailey. Clearly, neither of them expected to have a heart-to-heart at 6 in the morning. Hailey touched his arm, encouraged him to continue.

"On my second buy, the dealer bailed on me. When I came home, upset, I received voicemails from Will and Mouse. I remember crying on hearing their voices. I didn't want to disappoint them," said Jay. "Will and I weren't even close then, he called to say that he was moving to New York. To know that I still mattered… that means a lot. He didn't know about the drugs until now. Mouse dragged my ass back, slapped the Police Academy form to my face. That's why…" Jay trailed off. He didn't show any emotions, his eyes were empty, it was like recounting a story he had recount countless times, only that he never told anyone that. Not even Erin, not even Will. Hailey was the first person to know this, and it's saying a lot. She could jam him up with that knowledge, even if it happened in the past. However, he had a complete faith in her that he knew that if any, she would sort out his mess, not bury him.

"That's why it hit you hard," concluded Hailey. Jay nodded.

"It could've been me," said Jay.

"It won't happen to you. You look for help. I'll help you," said Hailey.

"What if you're not around? What if you got transferred? If the unit got disbanded?" asked Jay. With everything that's been going on lately, higher-up in the force, he couldn't help but wonder whether their unit still be around for a long time. It would be a disaster to be disbanded, but moreover, if Hailey and he would be separated into different unit.

"You have Will. Hey, you're not just another partner. You're a friend. I'll always be around," said Hailey. "Go back to sleep. At least, catch another hour or two of sleep. You'll thank me later." Hailey pulled a pillow. "Come on, I haven't tucked you in for some times," she joked, but they both knew she was worried about him. He wasn't in a good mental state.

"Yes, mum," said Jay. He lay on the couch, pulling the blanket. Hailey helped him, and squeezed his shoulder. Jay gave her a smirk, and grabbed her hand with his eyes closed, before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

"What time did you wake up?" asked Jay. The moment he woke up, Hailey was already up and eating breakfast, wearing a workout gear. She raised her eyebrows pointing at a plate on the kitchen table.

"An hour ago. Just ran around the block, needed to clear my mind," said Hailey. Jay raised his eyebrows, asking her to elaborate. She went running when she something was bothering her. "You know, with Antonio…" said Hailey. Jay nodded, and then whistled at the pancakes and egg on his plate. "Don't get used to this," laughed Hailey.

"Ah, no bacon?" Jay replied innocently. Hailey rolled her eyes. "Kidding. It's like staying in an Airbnb and get unexpected free breakfast."

"Ha ha. You'll do the dishes," Hailey poured herself a cup of coffee. It was 9 am, but they both had slept only for less than five hours; coffee was their primary need.

"You're like my mum; she made us nice breakfast if we were unwell or if she knew we were stressed. Otherwise, cereal, or she had Will make breakfast for both of us," commented Jay. It was a rare occurrence for Jay to talk about his childhood. Even when Will was around, they both refrained talking about their past. Hailey got glimpses of his past through fleeting conversations; and it was already an improvement. Two years into their partnership, as flirty as it was, Erin didn't even know he has a brother until Will showed up.

"My mum did too, still does actually every time I come over. She would make me nice breakfast, usually pancakes, my favourite. Or in Angie's words, Nana makes pancakes every time Aunt Hailey stays over," said Hailey.

"So I don't get chocolate chips in mine because it would make my throat sore?" Jay laughed. "That kid… just as bossy as Aunt Hailey."

"I should've put extra chocolate chips in yours so you'll get sore throat and stomachache," teased Hailey. "I'll go in earlier to do paperwork. Kim asked me to keep her company."

"Yeah, if you don't mind, I'll come in later. I'm meeting Will, best man duty," smirked Jay. In all that was going on in his life, Will's upcoming wedding seemed like the only thing that's normal.

"Interesting, two sleep deprived guys go look for suits," teased Hailey.

"Way to be Negative Nancy," said Jay. "Hey, the things I told you this morning… that's for your ears only, alright? You're the first person ever to know, and the last." He was sure Hailey wouldn't say anything, but he needed to let her know how serious it was.

"To the grave," Hailey nodded. She didn't expect that she was the _only one_ he shared that with. Not Mouse, not Erin, not even Will. "How are you, though? Yesterday with Jasmine Price… what happened? It was unlike you to zone out in the job," asked Hailey. Jay sipped his coffee, readying himself to dig his memory.

"When I was five, we went to a park. My mum worked that day, so it was the three of us. I forgot what park, the only thing I remember was Will wore a bright orange cap because an older kid teased him. They called him carrot, which I did later in life, but I'm his brother, so I am allowed to," Jay laughed, eliciting a snort from Hailey. "I got mad at him, and I called him names. He wanted to hit me, so I ran. I eventually lost my way, I didn't know where to go. The next thing I knew, security guards went looking for me. It was hours later. My dad and Will were crying when they saw me. Will didn't let me out of his sight for the next two days; he followed me into the bathroom and bed. And my dad… that was one of the rare emotional side of him I saw," said Jay. "Just like Price yesterday, guess it brought up memories," shrugged Jay.

"That's family's love," commented Hailey. The more she got glimpses into the Halsteads' childhood, the more she wished she knew them as kids. They sure sounded like the cutest brothers in the world for doting on each other. When she saw their childhood picture for the first time in Jay's apartment, she nearly squealed because they were so adorable.

"My time being a family member was up, that was all just a memory," concluded Jay. He was a bit upset; that he just made amends with himself over not making things right with his dad, suddenly he got triggered by Ray Price's reaction.

"Don't let Will hear you say that. He would be heartbroken," said Hailey. "It was clear as day that you are family now as you were when you were five. I admire the bond that you have."

"Yeah, he's alright," Jay smirked and finished his coffee. "Thanks, though, for the talk, the breakfast, everything. Yesterday was a long day which I survived thanks to you," he hopped off his stool and put his mug in the kitchen sink. "You know… this goes both ways. You can talk to me if there's something bothering you, you know that right?" he asked, referring to the fact that Hailey went running in the morning.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks," said Hailey.

"Good. I'll see you later," Jay went around the island to squeeze Hailey on the shoulder, and he was out the door.

* * *

"Sarge," Kim stood up. She was munching the muffin Hailey brought her when Voight walked up the steps.

"Antonio is on leave for a week," said Voight. "Kim, we're not gonna talk about it. Is that clear?"

"Yeah. I just want to make sure that he's gonna be alright," said Kim.

"He is. Now, finish your report," Voight slammed his office door.

"You didn't see it coming, did you?" asked Kim to Hailey.

"No, I didn't," said Hailey.

"Be honest. Is it my fault? At least partially… shouldn't I see it coming? I mean, you would've realised it if it happened to Jay," said Kim.

"I suppose so… However, if Antonio intended to hide it from you, then no wonder you didn't realise it," Hailey shrugged. Kim didn't need to know that she saw Jay more often than necessary, but she didn't want to admit that she would miss the sign if it happened to Jay, because she wouldn't.

"I hope we'll get the news about him as soon as possible," said Kim.

"Yeah," said Hailey. Jay walked up the stairs with two coffee cups. He had a look on his face when he saw Hailey's coffee. Hailey did stop at a coffee shop before to buy herself and Kim breakfast. Surprise breakfast always does wonder on her; she tried to do it for Kim after the shocking news about Antonio.

"Does this mean I'm doing my own report?" asked Jay, motioning to to Hailey's coffee.

"It's done. I thought you'll come later," said Hailey. Jay put the coffee cup on her desk.

"Yeah, no. we finished earlier than expected, figured out I'll just come in," said Jay.

"I'll have the coffee then," said Kevin.

"That'll be two bucks, or a report," said Jay.

"My service's that cheap?" Hailey raised her eyebrows playfully. Jay suddenly looked sheepish.

"Yep, Halstead's in the doghouse," cheered Adam. Jay walked to Hailey's desk, raising a an eyebrow.

"We're alright," Hailey patted Jay's arm.

Later that afternoon, Jay slipped an off-duty request slip to Hailey's desk. Hailey frowned.

"You don't wanna be called to a crime scene in the middle of a game," whispered Jay. Hailey nodded.

"I'll submit it later," said Hailey. Jay sensed her hesitation, and raised an eyebrow asking for explanation. Hailey sighed and sat on Jay's desk. "Last time, Voight accused me of sleeping with you. I don't want him to assume when we request to be off-duty together on weekend."

"We're watching a game together, not going to Hawaii together, although with the weather now, it doesn't seem like a bad idea," defended Jay. "Do I have to ask for his permission? It would draw more suspicions, don't you think?"

"Yeah… I guess so," Hailey shrugged.

"Don't worry, I'll sort it out," said Jay.

"I'm not worried," Hailey rolled her eyes. Jay just laughed at her.

* * *

_I've been enjoying Season 7, and was hoping I could somehow relate Antonio's exit story to this story, but he was moving to Puerto Rico, and was only mentioned briefly, that I couldn't tie it off to this story. Oh well... here's to the last couple chapters! Excitedly waiting for the crossover now... _


	27. Chapter 27

"Sarge, got a minute?" asked Jay the next morning. He got to the district early, and none of his colleagues were present. He thought, now or never. Voight raised his eyebrows.

"I hope this would not be taken the wrong way," began Jay. "I've been through… a lot of things since the fire case. The one when my dad died. Looking back, I was in a really bad place. I owe Hailey a lot, for keeping me on my feet."

"Your point?" asked Voight.

"I want to return the favour to her. Well, not return, but at least I want to thank her. My friend works in Blackhawks ticketing, he managed to secure tickets for a game next week. I want to make sure that we're both off on that day," Jay fidgeted in his chair. He didn't know why he was nervous.

"Alright," said Voight.

"One more thing. We go as friends, just wanna let you know, in case you think otherwise," said Jay.

"Noted. She made sure I know too," said Voight, smirked when he remembered his other detective's sassiness.

"I know," said Jay. After hesitating, he continued, "I don't know whether it reached your desk. I've been attending therapy, voluntary. My past caught up with me after that case, and it wasn't pretty. I'm in a better place now, mostly thanks to my partner. So if you aren't happy about how we roll, about sleeping on each other's couch, and spending time outside of the district, I take the full blame. You can address it with me, not her. It was all on me, she did it for my sake," said Jay. He might be in the doghouse after that bold statement to his boss, but he couldn't risk Hailey taking another accusation or accepting consequence of a suspected in-house romance from Voight.

"I'm not unhappy," Voight shrugged. "From what I heard and seen, you got help. I'm not about to stop you from getting the help you need."

"Thanks," Jay stood up, ready to leave Voight's office when Voight's gruff voice stopped him.

"You going to therapy voluntary was an example of how I need Upton to help me ground you," said Voight, and Jay would swear that he heard humour in Voight's voice. Jay just smirked, and left the office to grab breakfast.

* * *

"How did you manage to ask day off for both of us? What did you do?" asked Hailey. They were in the car, doing stakeout. When Hailey arrived to the district earlier, Jay slipped her a form, signed by Voight, with smug face.

"I didn't do anything. I just asked," said Jay.

"Can't believe that just a couple weeks ago, he yelled at you that Platt could hear it downstairs," said Hailey.

"Platt heard it? How did you know?" asked Jay.

"She asked me," said Hailey.

"Yeah… turns out Voight has humanly side in him," Jay laughed.

"He trusts you, when you're not being stupid," smirked Hailey. Upon Jay's rolled eyes, Hailey added, "I do too."

"My pleasure," smirked Jay.

"How was your therapy yesterday?"

"Good, as always. It sucks to talk about things we rather buried down, but in the end, it helps. Kids are always a trigger for me. It sucks, but the therapist said yesterday, nightmares make us human. If we no longer flinch upon seeing disturbing crimes, maybe the job gets to us," said Hailey.

"Point taken," smirked Jay. Kevin's voice from the intercom distracted them.

"Target walking north, approaching you, Jay," said Kevin.

"Copy that," said Jay.

"He's crouching under the red Honda, we lose view," said Hailey.

"Adam, distract him. I'm gonna approach on foot," said Voight. Adam who was standing nearby, holding a cigarette, walked towards the target and dropped his phone. He spun around quickly, with caution in his face. Adam pretended not to notice him.

"Chicago PD!" Voight yelled once he was closer to him. He dashed out towards Hailey and Jay's car, Adam and Voight on his tail.

"Ah, come on!" Hailey jumped out of the car. She hid behind the car and tackled the target.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" argued the target.

"Then why did you run?" asked Adam.

"It's a car bomb," said Kevin who approached them as Hailey put on the cuff.

"We'll take him back to the district," said Kim.

* * *

There was no news about Antonio, as far as Voight let them know. Voight did ask Jay to find Gabby, Antonio's sister, who skipped town just a couple months earlier. Jay had trouble contacting her, and asked Matt Casey, her husband, about her whereabout. Or rather, her ex-husband, which explained his cold reaction when Jay went to the firehouse to ask him directly.

A night before the Blackhawks game, Hailey went home early from the district. Her reports were done, she followed up with her CI, and picked up her favourite bottle of wine and Greek food as she went home. She was just done pouring her wine, ready for a quiet night in front of the TV, when Jay called her.

"I think we're off for the weekend?" her words came out harsher than she originally meant.

"I'm not calling about a case. It's Antonio, Voight told us to come to Med," said Jay.

"I just poured a glass of rose," Hailey whined without meaning to. She realised she sounds bad; she didn't ask about Antonio, but complaining about her comfort. That week was a bit stressful for her; they just wrapped the car bombing case, as well as another immigrant smuggling case just before the weekend, and they were a man short, so she was really looking forward for the weekend.

"Finish it. I'll pick you up in 10," said Jay, and Hailey could hear a smirk in his voice.

"Thank you," said Hailey. She grumbled, changed her pyjama bottom into leggings, and shrugged on her coat. She gulped her wine and put the glass on her coffee table. When she was putting on her shoes, she heard Jay's car pulled up outside. She ran outside, locking her door, and jogged to the car. He was still in the clothes he wore to the office.

"Someone's been out," commented Hailey.

"Yeah, doing paperwork in the office," Jay replied dryly. "Finish the wine already?" asked Jay.

"Yeah. Sorry, I was… already in weekend mode," Hailey reasoned. "What's going on with Antonio? I thought we're not talking about it?"

"Yeah. Voight didn't say anything, only told us to come to ER," said Jay.

As they walked into the ER, they didn't find Voight in the waiting room. Jay strolled inside, having known most of the staff because of Will.

"Connor, you see Will? Or Voight?" asked Jay as he saw Dr. Rhodes.

"I cannot tell you, but I don't know who's in Treatment Room 3," said Dr. Rhodes. Jay smirked, clasped him on the shoulder, and went to the closed door. He knocked on the door. Voight peeked through the slightly opened curtain and slipped outside.

"What happened, Sarge?" asked Hailey.

"Not here," Voight herded them to an empty hallway. He shrugged to the direction of Matt Casey who just walked past the ER door.

"Antonio?" asked Casey. Voight nodded.

"And you're here because…" said Jay.

"Because Antonio used to be my friend, even if I'm no longer with his sister," snapped Casey.

"Whoa, whoa. Chill. You just didn't seem interested when I went to the firehouse," said Jay.

"You didn't mention him, you just asked about my ex-wife. Why do you think I would be interested?" snapped Casey.

"Sarge?" asked Jay.

"Antonio had been recovering in an off-the-book clinic. When he overdosed last week, he refused to be admitted here, so I arranged for him to recover somewhere else. Where it wouldn't be recorded in his file. I tried to keep it all under wraps, the less people know, the better. However, I got a call from the doctor there that he relapsed, and they had no choice but to admit him. He was unconscious when he was brought here. Will is his physician, that's why I asked you to come, Jay. And Casey, you sure there is no way to get a hold of Gabby?" asked Voight.

"I can ask her divorce lawyer, but you know, lawyer," Casey rolled his eyes. "Last I heard from her was when she walked out on me, a day before the divorce papers arrived."

"Will!" Jay called. "How is him?"

"He wasn't breathing and was unresponsive when he was brought here, so we intubated him. I have to be honest, it's gonna be a long road for him. And Sergeant, you know this will go in his file," said Will. Voight shrugged.

"Right now, my priority is Antonio. Not Detective Dawson," said Voight.

"Who's Antonio medical proxy?" Will asked April who walked by.

"His sister. We tried to contact her, but…"

"She's in Puerto Rico," said Casey. "What happened when you cannot find the medical proxy?"

"His physician will decide his treatment," said Will. "After he is stable and conscious, we're gonna put a 48 hour hold on him, to see how well he react to the purging of the drugs. We'll go from there," said Will. "You can see him, two at a time. Don't take too long."

Voight walked into the room, and Casey motioned to Jay and Hailey to go with Voight. "I'll go next," he shrugged. Many years had passed, and he knew now that Voight was not the dirty cop he once knew, but some things were irreversible.

"Go ahead," Hailey gave Jay a light shove, knowing Jay would want to see Antonio first. Jay followed Voight inside, and Hailey stood outside, finding herself lost at words with Casey. She knew the firefighter from a few times their jobs cross path, but she had no idea what to say to him.

"You know of his addiction?" asked Casey.

"I was with him when he overdosed," said Hailey. "We were doing surveillance, and suddenly…" she trailed off, remembering the time she held Antonio in the back of the van. She simply thought he had food poisoning, or flu, at the time; because it never crossed her mind that Antonio was an addict.

"What?"

"He threw up in the van. I thought he was just sick, so we just left him there with bucket and blanket, while we went into the suspect's house. I didn't pay attention at his symptoms," said Hailey.

"Don't blame yourself. You work with him, you know him. Guy's as straight as a stick. No one would've thought he overdosed. Hell, I am still in doubt," said Casey.

"You are close with him?" asked Hailey.

"He helped me a lot with some cases. Even before I married, or even dated his sister. Last time I saw him though, he clocked me in the jaw for not following Gabby to Puerto Rico," Casey peeked inside.

"And you're still here," Hailey pointed out.

"Yeah, can't leave a man while he's down," Casey smirked.

"That's very admirable," Hailey said as Voight and Jay exited the treatment room. Hailey slipped inside with Casey following her. She stopped on her track when she saw Antonio. Will already told them that he was intubated, that he was unconscious, but actually seeing him with machines around him startled her. Antonio was always the silent, but strong presence in the room he was in. He isn't afraid to voice his opinions, however different they might be from the others', hence he disagreed a lot with Adam or Voight. Hailey couldn't believe how helpless he was.

"Hailey?" Casey's voice brought her back to the room. He gently guided Hailey to the side of the bed. "It's been said that unconscious people would hear what you said around them," he said.

"Antonio," whispered Hailey. "Come on, man... you have to be strong," Hailey touched Antonio's cold hand.

"You are close?" asked Casey.

"He kept everyone in line," smiled Hailey. "It's not easy seeing him like this."

"No, it's never easy seeing anyone like this," said Casey somberly. "I will try to find your sister and have her fly here to be at your side. Or your father," he said, suddenly getting an idea.

"What?" asked Hailey.

"Why didn't I think of that? Ramon Dawson, can you guys find him?" asked Casey.

"I suppose we can," said Hailey. "Hear that, Antonio? We'll find your family. But until then, we're your family also. I wish we knew about all of this… Kim was pissed, you know," she poked Antonio in the shoulder.

"Sorry guys, we're moving him upstairs," Will poked his head inside.

"I'll see you later," Hailey squeezed Antonio's arm. As Antonio was being rolled outside, she felt Casey lightly pushed him outside the room. She looked at Jay, whose facial expression was unreadable, to others at least. Hailey knew he was putting his wall up.

"Sarge, Casey said that we might be able to find Antonio's dad," said Hailey.

"I'll see what I can do," said Voight.

"What about his kids? Diego? Eva?" asked Casey.

"With their mum. Antonio refused to tell them," said Voight. Casey shrugged.

"Tell me if there is anything I can help. I'll keep trying to contact Gabby. I'll ask Kidd if they keep in contact," Casey shoved his hands in his jeans pocket. "And that's why you shouldn't have someone out of the country as your medical proxy."

"You tell me yours is not Gabby?" teased Jay.

"Nope. Never. Been Severide since I knew him. So far, I'm still alive," said Casey.

"I get it. My proxy is in this hospital most of the time and happened to be a doctor," Jay pointed across the room to Will, smirking proudly.

"When I find Dawson senior's contact number, you'll know it," said Voight. Casey nodded.

"I appreciate you're keeping me in the loop. He was a friend," said Casey. "See you around, Jay, Hailey," he nodded, patted Jay on the shoulder, and left.

"You two, not a word about this to Kim, Adam, or Kevin," said Voight.

"Why?" asked Jay.

"You saw how Kim beat herself about Antonio. I don't want her seeing him like this. And if Adam or Kevin knew, they'd tell her," said Voight. Hailey and Jay nodded. "Now, I'll tell you if anything changes. You are off for the weekend, I'll see you on Monday," said Voight, dismissing them.

"I need to find Will," said Jay, walking to the nurse station. He went to the doctor's lounge as directed by one of the nurses. "Hey, Will."

"Hey," Will quickly stood up from the sofa, where he sat with his head in his hands previously.

"What's wrong?" asked Jay.

"Nothing. You need anything?" Will asked back.

"I'm just coming to tell you I'm going," said Jay. Will sensed something was wrong with Jay, however he was too tired to push. Besides, Hailey was with him.

"Alright. Enjoy the game tomorrow. Come here," Will opened his arms. Jay pulled Will in a tight hug, and Will realised Jay's hands were shaking. "Don't worry. Antonio is in the best place."

"I know," Jay mumbled to Will's shoulder. "Thanks, Will."

"Anytime," said Will. "Sunday, dinner in our place? Owen missed his Uncle Jay," said Will as he pulled back.

"I'll try," said Jay. Will patted his shoulder as he walked outside, meeting Hailey sitting outside the ER.

"Let's go," Jay squeezed her shoulder. Hailey closed her eyes and remembered, a couple months ago, they were in Med when they found out that Olinsky died. Jay also squeezed her shoulder briefly, in an effort to comfort her. "Hailey, wake up."

"I don't sleep," Hailey rolled her eyes, then walked with Jay to his car. Jay drove back to Hailey's place, but it was obvious to both of them that he's not going home. Antonio's condition shook them both, and

"Anything bothering you?" asked Jay as they sat around Hailey's kitchen island. "Beside Antonio's condition, of course." He noticed that Hailey was being very quiet then usual, and had been avoiding eye contact with him since in the hospital.

"I don't agree with Voight. Kim should visit Antonio," said Hailey. Jay was taken aback. He didn't expect that Hailey would be bothered by that. The two women in Intelligence have little in common—and they were not known to be the best of friends, although they were civil and grabbed occasional—more like semi-annual—lunch together.

"Jay, if it happened to you, God forbid, I don't want Voight to hide it from me," said Hailey. "I would want to be there; I would be there."

"Really?" asked Jay.

"Of course. How many times do I have to say that? I got your back," said Hailey. She poured whiskey for both of them. "Hell, Jay, if something happened to me, I want you to be there. I don't want Voight to deny you entry," said Hailey. "But we can't make sure that happened, right? We can just hope."

"Actually, you can," said Jay. "I can be your medical proxy."

"What?" asked Hailey perplexed.

"Well, you hear what Casey said. He has Severide as his proxy. I have Will, he would tell you. If something happened to you, who's your proxy? Your brother is in Iowa. I am a more sensible choice," Jay shrugged. Seeing Hailey's confused expression, he deflated. "You don't have to decide now. Just, think about it."

"You sure?" asked Hailey. She observed Jay closely, noting him being twitchy. He tapped his foot on the floor and played with the glass. He looked anywhere but at her.

"It's either medical proxy or husband," Jay tried to lighten the mood, hid his disappointment at the oncoming rejection.

"You have no trouble, no weight, deciding on my behalf when it comes to it? I always thought it's something no one would want to do," said Hailey.

"I hope I will never make any decision on your behalf, but yeah, I would rather it to be me. If you're okay with that, of course," said Jay.

"Then, of course. Thank you," Hailey walked over and slipped inside Jay's embrace.

"You sure you don't want the Halstead with the medical degree?" joked Jay.

"No, I'm good. I know you'd consult him anyway," smiled Hailey.

* * *

_I'm back! (Wow last update was October 2019, and there are so many Upstead fanfictions now) I'm not sure what happened but I haven't watched CPD since Jay was shot. I watched the clips through youtube, but I've been binging on Chicago Fire (see my Chicago Fire fanfiction!). But now we are all stuck inside, I figured I'd slowly finish this story...and of course I dragged Casey from Chicago Fire here. _


End file.
